The focus and the reasoning beind the donation sight is for my youngest daughter. I have two daughters, Skyler, 14 & Haylee, 16. I divorced their father due to his overly strict, very controlling nature and mental abuse. I left after 5 years and moved to what I call home, Las Vegas with my young daughters. With no job experience, no money and some family, it was a struggle from the beginning, Trying to find an office job during the day in customer service or administration became a huge struggle because I had no current experience. I was a stay at home mom when married. Eventually, I went to school to become a blackjack dealer. I got a job, but was placed on the night shift with one of the casinos from (9pm - 5am). I could give my daughters a good life. Before starting my job I had to find a trusting daycare where my daughters could be while I worked. After a few months I realized that this was going to be quite a challenge. What about sleep? What about time spent with my girls? I was always there 24/7 and had adapted to a great schedule when I was a stay at home mom. I tried with just a few hours of sleep at first, but the lack of sleep caught up with me. My daughters eventually started suffering and behaving badly because of the drastic change. To hear them tell me, "Mommy, you don't love us anymore? You never play with us and we never see you." I heard those words more than once. I would breakdown every time. I believe any mother would. All three of us were suffering. I needed to do something, fast. I needed to get on my feet and eventually find a regular day job. I did not want them to suffer any longer. By then their father and I let go of the past, became friendly with eachother and only thought of our girls. He agreed to take care of them on a full time bases, so I could get on my feet and try to work myself into the day shift. Believe me when I say I thought long and hard about this. I made my decision out of love for my children, not for anything else. I care deeply and just wanted to do the right thing. It hit me very hard and if that is not stess on its own, it turned out the few people that were in my life made it a point time and time again to tell me what a dissapointment I was. That I made my decision because I was a horrible person, selfish and didn't want the burden of two children on my hip. But, in my heart I knew it was out of love and at the time better for my daughter's. My decision was hard enough and with the mental abuse it became harder and harder to deal with. I then began questioning my decision and started feeling guilty. Only when I saw my girls was when I was happy. In the years that came, I saw, visited, spoiled, loved and cared deeply about my daughters, always telling myself that this was the right decision. Why didn't I get my daughters back? Because I did not want my daughters to suffer once again, from being uprooted, changing their lives again. I DID NOT give up my daughters. Again, I felt this was the right decision. During those years the guilt, the mental abuse and feelings of letting everyone I new down, really did a number on me. Depression, hating myself, not talking about it to anyone because I was judged right at the beginning. It hurt badly. The pain I felt was taking over me. Because of this I made some bad choices, I made mistakes. I faced my problem and got help. Just let me say that because of those mistakes and choices, I have learned the real meaning of family and who truly loves and cares about me as well as understand. I learned from my mistakes. I see now that people are not who they say they are. But have learned that there are peopIe that I never would have suspected to care deeply and do not judge me for the past. I have grown. I am a better woman and mother, a loving and caring wife to my husband and mother to my step-son. I am not afraid of my past. Everyone has one. Because of the length of this personal story, I would love to share more. So if anyone out there wants to hear more, I would be happy to tell you. You are welcome to PM me on FaceBook. One last thing. I have so much respect for others and have never judged. I have never belittled, talked bad about, incriminated, bashed or hurt my daughters father. Never have I said anything to them about their fathers past and mistakes. I always thought that within time when the girls were at the right age, I would explain to them my past. Unfortunately, I did not get the same respect from their father. He has told them some truths, but mostly lies. What he has done will never be forgiven. Once again get in touch with me if you feel it important to know more.
Over the years their father got more religious, trying to be more powerful and controlling. So extreme that it has taken over his and my daughter's lives. He is now what you call an Independent Fundamental Baptist with very strict rules including corporal punishment. Laying over an excercise ball and holding onto the counter as they are given ten licks with a homemade paddle for as little as telling little white lies or rolling their eyes. Child Protective Services were called in to investigate. Their father flat out admitted to this type of punishment because they are a devout religious family and have been told to follow what is in the Bible and God's instructions. He admitted to investigators that his pastor and God had told him to punish this way. He doesn’t use his hands, because they are for praying and love. They closed the case due to his faith and lack of current evidence of bruses or marks. He did as he pleased and the court was not able to intervene even though the report said they were in "intermediate risk."
My oldest daughter, Haylee is happy and has gone through life with instruction from her father. She is keeping her head down and does what she needs to do to get her through the days until she goes to college. She is a beautiful and very smart girl. Her love for me is unconditional as mine is for her. I do wish she would see what I and everyone else sees, but she tells me that I have no say.
Now to the real issue of my fundraiser....My daughter Skyler is a free spirit. She's a bit rebellious, does not like to be controlled or told what to do. She has a heart of gold, is caring and loving. There is not a mean bone in her body. Skyler has not been treated fairly at her father's house and is now taking it very hard. She has been home schooled for years, has no freedom, voice and parents all 3 of the younger children under the age of 5. She has to clean the house like if she were in military school. She hides in her room, has no relationship with anyone in the household and is terrified of her father. When they are ALLOWED to visit me (only on his terms, NOT the court ordered terms). Before they visit, their father drills them about what can be said and what they can & cannot do. Then on return he drills them again. Again, this is something that has greatly affected Skyler. Skyler was afraid to talk to even me about her problems at home and I have always urged her to. To make matters even worse, for years their father has said nothing but horrible things about me, has bad mouthed me and has gone so far to tell them my past, mistakes I made and why he believes I am just a stranger. He has told his family & my daughters since they were very very young, making me sound like a monster, a sinner and an unfit mother. I on the other hand have been nothing but respectful by not telling my daughters of their fathers past. I have been told that this is a big no no in the eyes of the law. This is called Parental Alienation in a very extreme way.
All of this manifested into severe depression for Skyler. Her father controlled every aspect of her life. It was recently brought to my attention that she had attempted hurting herself 3x, to which he has failed to mention to me. He emailed 9 days later after he admitted her into a hospital for treatment. 9 DAYS!!! He still has not provided me all the details of her stay, doctors she saw, medication she was prescribed, etc. Afterwards, he checked her in and out of 3 treatment centers. Just as she was getting comfortable with her therapist, he would yank her out and she would have to start all over again. During her stay at the last treatment center I had been speaking with my daughter up to 3x a day where she would express that she needs a fresh start and to live with us in Las Vegas. She wants to go to a normal school and be a normal child. I repeated daily that I will do anything I can to get her away from there and home with me. I repeated each time I spoke to her to stay strong, to think about her future and know that mommy would never turn her back. She believed me, trusted me and was truly happy and excited. It ALL came to a standstill when her father showed up, checked her out and told the therapist he was taking her home. But that was not true at all. Her therapist was extremely disturbed to find out where he had taken her.
Her father forcefully & secretly gave Skyler up to an Independent Fundamental Baptist facility, which is faith-based. The recommended daily treatment and counseling that the therapist's said she would need to make her better has been ignored. There is no treatment or counseling for her. There are many of these facilities & homes across the United States that have been investigated for various types of abuse (articles have been attached). It's called Marvelous Grace Girls Academy in Pace, Florida. If you know the name of Bill McNamera, you have heard that he has been investigated and accused for physical abuse, sexual abuse, mistreatment and mental abuse to many children that are in these facilities. Preachers run these facilities. He is still a top leader for IFB facilities. This school was formerly called New Beginnings, which is now Marvelous Grace. These facilities do not have to answer to the US government. IFB has developed their own government It is an all girl’s facility that brainwashes young girls into thinking that the only reason they are there is because no one wants them anymore and God has only taken them in because he pity’s them. They teach these girls to clean, cook, sew and be submissive to their future husbands. They must memorize and recite verses in the Old Testament. These girls are transported to other states to sing in churches and get donations for the preacher. Chores take up most of their day, even at places they visit.
These young girls are demoralized and humiliated. Among other things, they are forced to stand in place for long periods of time, eventually urinating on themselves. They are not allowed to look anyone in the eyes. They are watched closely when using the restroom or taking a shower. No one, including parents can speak with them on the phone for 30 days, which for divorced parents is only 10 minutes a week. The call is put on speaker phone and monitored by individuals in the room. No family can see them for 4 months, which are limited & monitored too. I WAS NOT GIVEN THE CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH SKYLER OR SEE HER BEFORE HE TOOK HER THERE AND HAVE NOW LOST ALL COMMUNICATION ALONG WITH MY COURT ORDERED VISITATION WITH HER OVER THE SUMMER FOR 5 WEEKS.
I have included links to their website, along with links to articles from reporters and investigators about sexual abuse, rape, neglect, punishments for talking to others & mistreatment by other girls in the facility. You will see what happens in our country. I still am in shock that this is happening right under my feet.
There are many things ordered in our Parenting Plan that have been violated. He freely does whatever he wants. He has told the magistrate flat out that he will never abide by the law and will do whatever he wants with his children. He is a deputy in his home town and is a youth teacher at his church. He believes that no one can stop him and is above the law. I have fought him for years and he always manages to squeeze by. I have done everything I know of and cannot do this fight on my own any longer. I have spent all my savings on attorney’s fees (I had an attorney who helped me at the beginning, but is not able to battle any longer), flying back and forth and having expenses that I never figured in. I need help desperately. I need to hire an attorney, a very good one who will fight hard and not give up. Attorneys are very pricey. Please for the sake of my daughter, help me free Skyler and get her away from the abusive conditions she has been enduring for far too long. Your help could save my child’s life, save her from years of depression, mental anguish and free her from this horrible nightmare she is currently living in.
PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF MY DAUGHTER FREE SKYLER FROM A PLACE THAT SHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN!!!!!! NO CHILD DESERVES THIS. I WILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN, INCLUDING THIS FUNDRAISER AND TELLING YOU WHAT I NEED TO MAKE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND. I AM NOT ASSHAMED TO DO THIS AT ALL. WHAT MOTHER WOULDN'T WANT TO DO THIS. Read these articles and get some knowledge on the IFB.
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