Help for Disabled Mum & Dad

Hi Kind Potential Donors,

We are a young family which has fallen on hard times. My name is Karen and I am a mum with a disability. I had a botched emergency Laparotomy to remove an ovarian cyst 12yrs ago. I went from a healthy active person to living a life of pain with limited mobility. I have extensive abdominal nerve damage caused during the emergency surgery. From that day I never walked properly, without pain, again. 

About 7 years ago my husband, Sol, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. He has been my carer for 10years. He gets incredibly fatigued, and has developed back problems from shifting me about, but he looks after us with little complaint. 3yrs ago he was diagnosed with diabetes, adding to his fatigue. Last July he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. His surgery has been bumped to different dates and postponed multiple times, through no fault of his own. Sol’s recovery time is at least 6 months to a year.

January last year year, 2017, we were evicted from our home, of 12 years, as our landlord was selling. We owed him no rent and paid on time every month. He was completely immovable on our eviction date and we faced being homeless. We couldn’t be placed into temporary housing because we were a family with disabled needs. We needed to be moved into social housing immediately, but finding a home with 3 beds and adaptations, in an area close to our children’s school, was a difficult task. But we were lucky and had a priority card to find us a home. We thought our woes were over until my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her days of helping Sol with me and the children were over. My father has a heart condition himself. My sister has a alcohol problem, who has been banned from driving, so no help there. My brother has schizophrenia and is unpredictable. Sol’s Mum lives 30miles away and his father lives 150 miles away. As you can see our support network is fractured at best.

4 weeks ago I had a heart attack. I’m 43 years old. It was completely unexpected and a shock. I had 1 stents put in to open up the artery but I had Coranoary thrombosis (a massive blood clot) that required another angioplasty and stent. I was in intensive care for 5 days and I was discharged from hospital the day my husband was due to have his brain surgery. What are the odds! I’ve been diagnosed with Hereditary Coronary Heart Disease, so I have to make some life-long changes. I now take 12 different type of meds for both my pain management and my heart. 

We are a family in crisis and our situation is dire. The reason we’re asking for donations for an adjustable bed is because I cannot get in and out of bed myself. Sol has been helping me with this for years. I need my legs lifted in and out of bed and I struggle to get up even with a bed rail, requiring help to get into the upright position.  I currently have Reablement carers but they’re unable to help with the children and I only have them for 6 weeks until an alternative can be found.

If we had a double adjustable bed, which suits both of our disabled needs, I could raise the bed to comfortably  get into it, with a leg raiser to get my legs up to bed height without the pain and physical exhaustion that it causes me. Epecially, in light of my recent heart attack. It would help with Sol’s recovery after his surgery and would go some way towards alleviating his back pain. 

Ideally, we would need help with funds ASAP to get a new bed in place before Sol’s surgery. Your kind donation would help us heal after a tragic year of events. We wouldn’t have to worry about our children going into care because I can’t get out of bed to get them to school, I have a stairlift already in place and a ramp to get in and out of our home, so this is the last piece of the puzzle. If you’re still here thanks for reading this far, and we hope you’ll consider donating to our cause.  

Thanking you in advance,

Karen, Sol and Family

P.S I have just realised there’s a delivery charge of £145 - to have the bed delivered in 3-5days. Please excuse my impertinence by adding this to our overall fund. Thank you. Kx

P.P.S If, in the event, we should reach our target, and if you feel so inclined, all extra funds will go towards our debt accumulated during our forced eviction - from buying carpets, fridge freezer, washing machine and oven. Thanking you in advance. Kx

Update:

Sol is currently in hospital and has been for 16days. It’s been a long road to recovery. He had his tumour removed and although there were complications. The tumour had grown through his facial nerve and he has facial paralysis on the right side of his face, he was in the mend. He was home for 3 weeks but then had persistent and very painful headaches. He was admitted back into hospital with pneumocephalus - an air pocket in the brain. He was advised total bed rest in hospital. During that time his health rapidly deteriorated. Firstly, they found a blot clot in his sinuses. Then he had a chest infection and was then being treated for meningitis. He was put on intravenous antibiotics for the meningitis and warfarin for the blood clot. All seemed to be going well, the air pocket was getting smaller, until he started getting abdominal pains. He was bleeding internally. They took him off the warfarin and immediately sent him to the ICU. His blood pressure was spiking and dipping and he was in a very bad way. They put him on patient controlled morphine for the pain. 2 days later he realised his head was leaking. It was cerebral spinal fluid and air was getting in externally. He had another operation to patch the leak, clean and remove the fat graft, taking away his eardrum and other parts of his hearing as they were no longer needed (he’s now totally deaf in his right ear). After a 5 hour surgery, and another fat graft later, he came around and the headaches have almost stopped. So he’s been in the ICU for 7 days on bed rest again. Next steps: they hope to put him back on the warfarin to tackle the blood clot in his sinuses. The bleed in his stomach should clot and apply pressure to the bleed and it should stop on it’s own. It should then break down and hopefully re-absorb back into the body. If that doesn’t happen they will drain it. They don’t want to operated as there’s no guarantee they’ll find the bleed and it may do more harm than good, so they’re watching and waiting. As of yesterday they started his rehabilitation, he’s getting physio and about an hour up and in the chair a day. He is stronger by the day. He had his bandage removed from his head yesterday and they hope he’ll be well enough to return to the ward tomorrow. So hopefully that will get him closer home.

Well I’m just about managing during this difficult time, with the help from family, good friends and my carers. Isobel is finding it hard with Daddy away in hospital, she’s 7. Zach is 4 and knows Daddy is not home and that he’s in hospital getting medicine. They can’t visit Daddy whilst he’s in the ICU as it’s only suitable for children 11yrs and above. This is a very tough time for us all, but especially for them.

A big thank you, to each and everyone of you - who will or has donated. The money is going towards taxis to and from the hospital. Little luxuries for the children, microwave meals for me and added expenses involved - like extra disabled aids and personal hygiene products (I’m mostly incontinent due to a complication with a personal problem *blushes with embarrassment). Paying off our debts and for myself to learn how to drive in an adapted car, lessons, Hazard Perception Test, Written Test and Physical Test. It’s a stark realisation that I’m unable to do anything in this world if you can’t drive, especially when a loved one is in hospital. Or in my case, when I was visiting Sol, I had a call from the preschool advising me that Zach had fallen off a piece of play equipment and needed stitches. That was another expensive day of taxis and tension. Zach’s head was cleaned & glued and my nerves have been pushed to the limit. Times are tough but many good-hearted people have made this bearable.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and this update.

Much Love
Karen

Donations ()

  • Mike Fisher 
    • £30 
    • 23 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • £10 
    • 24 mos
  • Sue Halket 
    • £20 
    • 24 mos
  • Rachel Holt 
    • £20 
    • 24 mos
  • Francis Dawson 
    • £7 
    • 24 mos
See all

Organizer

Kaz Smith 
Organizer
Longwell Green, ENG
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