My name is Mandy, but most of you know me as BornWarrior89.

That name didn’t come from being strong.

It came from being forced to survive things no child and no person should ever have to survive.

Trauma didn’t just happen once in my life. It was the environment I grew up in. I learned how to cope instead of how to live. I learned how to shut down instead of cry. I learned how to survive pain instead of feel safe. And when you grow up like that, it follows you into adulthood. It sits heavy. It changes how you think, feel, and breathe.

There are days where I can laugh and seem okay. Days where I show up on TikTok and talk to you like I’m fine.

Then there are the days where my mind drops me into darkness without warning.

I have stood on bridges.

I have taken pills.

I have gone into the water fighting for breath, because even when I believed I wanted to die, part of me was still trying to live.

Here is the truth that many are too afraid to say out loud:

Most days, I do not want to be here.

Not because I hate life.

But because the pain is exhausting.

I don’t want to die.

I want the pain to stop.

Every day, I fight my own mind.

Every day, I choose to stay.

Not for me — for my son.

He is the reason my feet touch the floor.

He is the reason I am still here.

He is my anchor when everything in me wants to let go.

I am not asking for pity.

I am asking for a chance to heal.

I need trauma-focused therapy — real therapy — the kind that goes deep enough to help me build a life I don’t have to fight to stay in.

The NHS waiting list is long, and I cannot keep slipping into crisis alone. I need help now. To stay alive. To stay present. To stay here.

This fundraiser is to help me access private therapy so I can learn how to live, not just survive.

Funds will go towards:

• Trauma therapy sessions

• Stabilisation and crisis recovery support

• Travel for appointments

• Basic costs that help me stay steady while I heal

If you can donate — thank you.

If you can share — thank you.

If you simply read this — thank you for seeing me.

I am still here.

I am still fighting.

Even on the days you don’t see it.

Mandy

BornWarrior89