My name is Wendy Huff. When I was 16, oh so many (22) years ago, one of my "what if's" was "What if I get to be Wendy Huff?" I still can't believe it happened.
Nathan & I have known of each other since we were 12 years old, which would be junior high school. When we were in high school, we became friends. Every morning junior year and senior year, you could find us on the sidewalk, which was just off school property, smoking. Yes, we were those kids. (It's ok; we've cleaned up our act.) You would often see us together in the halls and in our senior class portrait, there is one person in between us and I'm actually leaning over talking to Nathan and not looking at the camera. Perhaps a foreshadowing of what was to come 20 years later.
Like most 16 and 17-year-old boys, Nathan just didn't get it (he knows now, trust me, he knows). He didn't realize I wasn't just there to smoke. I would drop hints here and there, bat my lashes, smile, be flirty. And Nathan would be Nathan: adorable, wonderful, and hopelessly clueless. I even went so far as to say "Hey, what if instead of going to Jr. Prom like everyone else is, do you want to go to the city and hang out" to which he actually said yes (oh my 16 year old gleefully beating heart be still because I can still feel that to this very day!) only to never call. I forgave him and never said a word about it and went on about the rest of our high school career silently loving my friend, my head still filled with "what if's" about any kind of relationship more than we had. Spending every morning and a few class breaks together, but nothing else.
Graduation and summer of 1993 came and went and I left for college. I didn't see him all summer and eventually, midway through freshman year, decided to give up (reluctantly) on the boy I loved. We saw each other once in a Wal-Mart parking lot a few years later, he says he doesn't remember (I think he does) but it was something that I kept in the back of my memories, a tiny "what if" that gave me some hope and happiness over what was to come in my future.
I would eventually meet my now ex-husband. It was the worst 16 years of my life. When I was 25, in one of his never ending attempts to control everything I did, my ex-husband forced me to have a tubal ligation, because he didn't want to have children. When I was in the operating room, the doctor looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said "I prayed all night that you wouldn't show up today." The one thing I had always wanted in my life was to have children, and that was being forcefully taken away from me. Suffice to say, that is the sadness, pain, sorrow and hurting.
I recently was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and non-classical congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) and found out that I would have never been able to get pregnant and stay pregnant without having medical assistance; there was no need for me to even have a tubal ligation! The majority of my family, including my parents, never knew about this until a few weeks ago.
More bad things happened and I finally had the catalyst and courage to leave. I filed for divorce and moved back to Maryland in September of 2011. What I will say is that I have a network of wonderful friends. I don't think I could have gotten through any of that (whether they knew what was going on or not) or to where I am today without them.
On December 3rd, I had a party. I invited Nathan (thank you FaceBook), because there was always that 16-year-old heart that fluttered when I thought about him or saw him on FaceBook. I didn't think he would come (I found out a few weeks later that he actually wasn't going to come but he "didn't have anything better to do"). There was a knock on the door around 10:30, I was in the kitchen with several friends and went out to see who it was. When I opened the door and Nathan was standing there, every emotion I had about him since I was 16 came flooding into my heart. I literally leapt on him and wrapped my arms around him, I didn't even let him come in the door until someone reminded me that it was December and it was cold and perhaps I should let this person in and shut the door.
We went on our first date 2 days later, 5 days after that we looked at our house and put an offer on it. We moved in January 20, 2012 and got married October 19th, 2012. We moved quickly through things some people take years to go through, but we had already missed out on so much time together.
Nathan and I are two peas in a pod. We make each other blissfully happy. We drive each other crazy. We know what the other is thinking. We can finish each other's sentences and thoughts. But we have a hole. There is something missing. We have a wonderful house. We have a dog. We have reasonably priced, safe cars. We are mostly healthy, and working on that everyday. There's just a hole.
We desperately want to have a baby, to make our duo into a team, to have a little family of our own. Our doctor says that though there are no guarantees, we have very good chances, and we should be able to have a baby with IVF. Our insurance pays 95% of the costs associated with IVF and the medications after a $200 deductible is met; however, because I had a tubal ligation, our insurance doesn't cover any of it.
We are applying for loans, but there is only so much we will be able to afford on our salaries and still have money to support a child and ourselves.
Basically, IVF is going to cost us a car (upwards of $12,000) per cycle!!. This is where you come in. We need to raise a minimum of $5,000 to help us pay for one cycle of IVF, monitoring and medication. That's a lot to ask for, trust us, we know. We've talked and cried and yelled and argued and tried to laugh, but in the end, we've agreed that this is the best way.
If you're reading this, it is because you are someone who loves us or you know someone who loves us or perhaps, it has gone further and you're a friend of a friend of a friend and you have no idea who the people in the picture are. Know this, those two people in the pictures, with their cherub faces; are what true love looks like, what happiness looks like, and know that good things come to those who wait, because we've waited a very long time. And more than anyone you know, they deserve to be parents. Any amount that you could donate to us would go to such a worthy cause. Please help us fund our happiness. And please forward this to anyone you know who would be willing to help.
If you have any questions, we are both available to answer them.
All our love and thanks, Nathan & Wendy
Our first cycle ended with a BFN (big fat negative).
No baby this time. We are ok. We thank you for your love and prayers and kind words. We will be starting again next month. We are strong and determined and we have a fabulous doctor and medical staff taking outstanding care of us.
- The Habron Family
- Keith & Carmen Hendrick
- Morgan Martin
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