Hi, my name is A. Bigmouse, and I am fundraising because I am a fake punk and the American education system finally got its hooks in me. I am so sorry.

Last January I began a five-semester program to become a LMT, or Liscenced Massage Therapist. It was the first time I saw a career path that didn't fill me with dread. A roommate of mine went through the program while we were under the same roof, and I would occasionally serve as his demo body. I saw him learn and grow, and I realized it lined up with what I was looking for in work. Lower-than-most-places hours, hands-on, people forward, challenging, mobile, plastic. This has only been reinforced in my studies as I near the and of this program and meet more and more seasoned LMT's. These people are so fucking weird, it's inspiring. I think I'm gonna make it in this biz, as much as anyone can make it anywhere these days.

This was was a calculated leap that, up until this past couple months, has been relatively on track. The program is pretty cheap, as far as these things go, and my Pell grant covered half of it. The debt I am in is not going to kill me, but it is because of my current financial pickle that I am making this Gofundme. Let's get into that now, OK?

Why GoFundMe?

My job let me go unexpectedly right before the holiday rush that I was counting on to pay down my creeping utilities and afford the up-front fees associated with getting my license and gaining access to jobs in my field. All told, I need about a grand to get these things situated, all of which have to be paid before I am cleared to be hired as an LMT anywhere or formally start growing my private practice. Here's a handy pie chart for that portion of the goal.

Since I am a rent-paying adult, this isn't the only expense I currently have, though, and so I have set the goal to 5k. The 5k number is half well-if-you-insist, since it's the default for Gofundme "education" category findraisers, but is also, conveniently, the amount of my credit card debt, and would save me a couple-hundred-dollar monthly gouge and allow me to pay off my loans quickly - paying less overall than if i did it while also trying to cover rent. While it would kick ass to walk out the door in March and immediately take on a full time full booked massage role, I know this isn't realistic. I won't get anything unless I ask, so I decided to just lay it bare. Here is a pie chart of my hole, which I do not expect to fill completely, but for transparency's sake.

I am going to stop typing now, but if you took the time to read this, thank you. I am grateful for any and all support you can kick my way - please know that the first bite is the big call for help immediately and the rest of it is there to help me find stability and be able to start passing the 20$ around again instead of taking it faster.

FAQ:

What is the MBLEx?

The MBLEx is the final exam before you are cleared to apply for a liscence, taken in a DMV type setting with proctors. It tests on the legal requirements of the profession, as well as anatomy and pathology about common contraindications and diseases I may encounter.

Why are both Washington and Oregon on the chart?

Both I and my school are located in Oregon, but I have a lot of friends and work connections up in Washington. Oregon has higher requirements than Washington on this stuff, so I can just walk up and go "Here too?" once I graduate, as long as I have the funds. This expense, unlike the others on that chart list, would be a little less time sensitive, but very nice to have.

Why am I seeing this again?

I've since graduated since I initially posted this fundraiser and have a full time, albeit minimum wage, temporary job til June. This is enough for rent and a half, which means I'll be able to take the MBLEX once they let me go, but I don't have much wiggle room. Plus, I would like to use some of the extra money to occasionally put gas in my car and to treat some of my friends who have saved my ass the past year. I figure it doesn't hurt to leave the fundraiser up for any passerby with an extra few bucks. And, if it does wind up taking off, it would be pretty great to be able to take it before June, so I can hit the ground running.