For children of Ashley Kilpatrick
Donation protected
“Addiction SUCKS!” This week addiction took the life of Ashley (George) Kilpatrick, a giant-slayer in the field of recovery. Even as I write this it feels so impossible that addiction could take the life of a man who spent almost 30 years helping so many others find sobriety! How could this happen to someone who knew so much about this disease? I'll tell you how, this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful, and that’s the only reason that makes sense. To me, It's been a sobering reminder that no one is ever recovered from addiction and that this disease can out smart, out work and baffle even the best of us living with it!
Ashley is in the top five of my list of favorite men. He got that title because he cared so much about me, and if you're reading this, it's likely he cared about you too. He had a way of making an impact on the people around him, whether it was through music, recovery, his family or as a co-worker, if you knew Ash, you know what I’m talking about. Ash and I could go months without talking and when we finally caught up he would ask me about that one thing I told him was bothering me from our last conversation. Sometimes, even I had forgotten what that was but Ash didn't forget, he remembered the smallest piece of my life and remembered to ask me about it whenever we connected. He made me feel special, valued and I love him and will miss him! There were many occasions that I called Ash feeling sad or depressed and he always made time for me, even during times, I found out later, that his own life was spinning out of control. I don’t remember a time he asked me for anything but I recall many times he helped me. Ash had humility, more than his fair share.
I started this fund because I believe that like me, there are plenty of folks out there that were touched by Ash's heart, his work and his generosity. I started it because addiction took Ash down so far, and so fast that there are many things he left undone. Things that I know he wished he could do as a dad and granddad. In 2002, Ashley adopted two great kids, Destiny and Donyon when they were ages 7 &8. He loved them very much. Not surprisingly, they also came from parents torn apart by addiction and abuse. Both of those children needed his love and still do. Recently his daughter described Ashley for his obituary, saying, “He’s inspirational, understanding and kind.” That was the Ashley I know too. Over the past 5 years Ashley spent much of his time fighting for his son who was diagnosed with a severe illness, one that he will battle with the rest of his life. He fought to get him diagnosed correctly. He fought the legal system when they got involved and he fought to raise his granddaughter when his son couldn't. He also fought to get Donyon to a safe place where he could deal with his illness instead of being punished for it. He fought when it cost him his relationships with others. He fought even when it almost cost him his life. My guess is that he fought for his family the same way he fought for so many of the young boys and men he cared for in his 30 years as an A&D counselor. He fought because of love, because he cared, because he was passionate about helping others to feel better. He fought to give a voice to those who couldn't fight for themselves. In fact, I believe Ash fought so hard for others that when it came time to fight for himself that he didn't have much fight left.
All of this money will help Ashley's kids with the things, as Dad, Ash would do if he could. This is for the things that he even talked about doing once he got better, which never happened. From the time Ashley lost his 30 years of sobriety until the day he died was less than 2 years! I think his denial was so great that he couldn't see the danger he was in and his own peril. People begged him to get help and briefly he did, but sadly it didn’t last. Even people who credit Ashley with saving their own life couldn’t save him. His disease told him he was okay when he wasn't. He couldn't do for himself that which he helped hundreds, if not thousands, of us to do, which was to surrender to something greater than ourselves. Dear God, we tried.
Last Christmas Destiny, now 22, got engaged and Ash was so happy. He asked her to make her engagement long enough so he could get back on his feet, so he could pay for the wedding. He ran out of time before that could happen. This fund will help pay for Donyon to live independently now that Ash won’t be there for him when he’s released. This fund will help pay for his funeral expenses because his kids can't and Ash literally died with $.50 to his name. If possible, this fund will help pay for college for his daughter who stopped going because of money, even though she was making all A's. This fund will help his son find suitable housing once he's released from care. In general, this fund will help pay for the things for his children that he could not because this disease took him down so fast and without any regard to what he's given to so many of us, myself included. Many of you won’t know me. My name is Ruthie Lyman and Ashley’s former wife, Retha, and I are BFF’s since the third grade. Every penny of your donation will go for Destiny and Donyon (minus anything Gofundme takes for processing), and I promise to mange this fund to make certain it is spent for the purposes described and with integrity. Patrick Scully, Ash's BFF and Rhonda Polehill, the kid's Aunt will also co-manage the donations and funding descisions. Thanks for reading this and for generously giving back to Ashley, if you can. If you think about it, your contribution and the impact it will have on his kids will be a part of Ashley's legacy.
Ashley is in the top five of my list of favorite men. He got that title because he cared so much about me, and if you're reading this, it's likely he cared about you too. He had a way of making an impact on the people around him, whether it was through music, recovery, his family or as a co-worker, if you knew Ash, you know what I’m talking about. Ash and I could go months without talking and when we finally caught up he would ask me about that one thing I told him was bothering me from our last conversation. Sometimes, even I had forgotten what that was but Ash didn't forget, he remembered the smallest piece of my life and remembered to ask me about it whenever we connected. He made me feel special, valued and I love him and will miss him! There were many occasions that I called Ash feeling sad or depressed and he always made time for me, even during times, I found out later, that his own life was spinning out of control. I don’t remember a time he asked me for anything but I recall many times he helped me. Ash had humility, more than his fair share.
I started this fund because I believe that like me, there are plenty of folks out there that were touched by Ash's heart, his work and his generosity. I started it because addiction took Ash down so far, and so fast that there are many things he left undone. Things that I know he wished he could do as a dad and granddad. In 2002, Ashley adopted two great kids, Destiny and Donyon when they were ages 7 &8. He loved them very much. Not surprisingly, they also came from parents torn apart by addiction and abuse. Both of those children needed his love and still do. Recently his daughter described Ashley for his obituary, saying, “He’s inspirational, understanding and kind.” That was the Ashley I know too. Over the past 5 years Ashley spent much of his time fighting for his son who was diagnosed with a severe illness, one that he will battle with the rest of his life. He fought to get him diagnosed correctly. He fought the legal system when they got involved and he fought to raise his granddaughter when his son couldn't. He also fought to get Donyon to a safe place where he could deal with his illness instead of being punished for it. He fought when it cost him his relationships with others. He fought even when it almost cost him his life. My guess is that he fought for his family the same way he fought for so many of the young boys and men he cared for in his 30 years as an A&D counselor. He fought because of love, because he cared, because he was passionate about helping others to feel better. He fought to give a voice to those who couldn't fight for themselves. In fact, I believe Ash fought so hard for others that when it came time to fight for himself that he didn't have much fight left.
All of this money will help Ashley's kids with the things, as Dad, Ash would do if he could. This is for the things that he even talked about doing once he got better, which never happened. From the time Ashley lost his 30 years of sobriety until the day he died was less than 2 years! I think his denial was so great that he couldn't see the danger he was in and his own peril. People begged him to get help and briefly he did, but sadly it didn’t last. Even people who credit Ashley with saving their own life couldn’t save him. His disease told him he was okay when he wasn't. He couldn't do for himself that which he helped hundreds, if not thousands, of us to do, which was to surrender to something greater than ourselves. Dear God, we tried.
Last Christmas Destiny, now 22, got engaged and Ash was so happy. He asked her to make her engagement long enough so he could get back on his feet, so he could pay for the wedding. He ran out of time before that could happen. This fund will help pay for Donyon to live independently now that Ash won’t be there for him when he’s released. This fund will help pay for his funeral expenses because his kids can't and Ash literally died with $.50 to his name. If possible, this fund will help pay for college for his daughter who stopped going because of money, even though she was making all A's. This fund will help his son find suitable housing once he's released from care. In general, this fund will help pay for the things for his children that he could not because this disease took him down so fast and without any regard to what he's given to so many of us, myself included. Many of you won’t know me. My name is Ruthie Lyman and Ashley’s former wife, Retha, and I are BFF’s since the third grade. Every penny of your donation will go for Destiny and Donyon (minus anything Gofundme takes for processing), and I promise to mange this fund to make certain it is spent for the purposes described and with integrity. Patrick Scully, Ash's BFF and Rhonda Polehill, the kid's Aunt will also co-manage the donations and funding descisions. Thanks for reading this and for generously giving back to Ashley, if you can. If you think about it, your contribution and the impact it will have on his kids will be a part of Ashley's legacy.
Organiser and beneficiary
Ruthie Lyman
Organiser
Atlanta, GA
Destiny Kilpatrick
Beneficiary
