I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

You never know what is in store for you. You can anticipate events based on the now, the likely and attempt to predict an outcome. However not until the event becomes reality are we ever sure....

When I think back to what I was doing last year this very day it's a blur. I was probably at work, busting my 'u know what' as always dealing with all the drama and stress that at the time was the norm. Or, stressing over my ridiculous relatives and their actions. In the end I don't remember because in the scheme of things it was insignificant. Gone and forgotten.

I never thought I would be here. I had given up after years of "women issues" and unsuccessful fertility treatment seemed to insist that I remained without experiencing the biggest miracle of life. I resigned myself to this fate and pressed on with life. However, after I got rid of my biggest stress, I received my first miracle.

Sixteen months ago, Asaiah and Amara made their way prematurely into this world. Its difficult to describe the feeling but overwhelming joy will have to suffice. Unlike many new mothers I did not hold my babies soon after delivery as they were whisked away to the NICU given they were 34 weeks and I was sent to recovery following the emergency C-section.

One week later Asaiah was discharged from NICU and we hoped and prayed Amara would soon follow though she had an under-developed lung and was being treated for infections associated with preemie babies.

Very often silently while at home, I would say to myself, what else? A difficult and high risk pregnancy, bed rest for eight months, aches, pains, acid reflux, migraines, u name it and I had it.

The hospital called, come in asap. Amara took a turn for the worst, her ailments were critical and numerous. The doctors did not believe she would survive.  We were told a priest would be permitted into the ICU. She was baptised the next morning.

My faith,close family ans select friends held me together for the next few weeks. Prayer chains here at home, Toronto, Pennsylvania, New York were continuous. I asked God everyday to restore my baby to health. After two months plus in the NICU Amara was discharged. I received my second miracle.

Today Amara still has serious health issues but she is stable, growing and bonding with her twin. I continue to pray asking for health and a long life and I believe my third miracle is approaching.

Sadly, Trinidad health system is unable to diagnosd and successfully treat Amara. We are yet to find out the specific genetic disorder she has, along with other medical complications.

In a couple weeks she will be a patient at Geisinger Medical for medical review, genetic testing and  full developmental review. 

I could not have anticipated the past year plus of my life and never believed I could endure and survive such devastating events but I did.

Have I changed.....I believe that I have. I'm not sweating the small stuff, i'm not wasting precious time worrying about insignificant things, I try to be positive in my thoughts and deeds and most importantly I am stronger in my faith.

Though the next few years will be difficult with I am hopeful and positive. Amara's medical expenses are mounting and we are grateful for your kind words, prayers and financial assistance.

Eternally grateful,
Stace