Thank you for your assistance!!

Hello, my name is Shawn James I suffer from Acute Accumulative PTSD along with depression and anxiety issues, and have been unable to work, at any job for just about three and half years now.   Even simple every day tasks, such as going shopping at Walmart, is a very hard thing for me.  I struggle in crowds, I also have days were I can do things and days I am unable to do anything.  So working for someone else, right now, when I can't even answer my own phone is a major challenge.
For over 22 years I served as an ordained minister.  I volunteered with our local police department at the time of our last church posting.  I was heavily involved in caring for our church, our community and was involved in coaching soccer at our kids elementary school.  I also helped start and run a kids program partnering with the town of Georgina, and the local police department.
I'd say that that is when the PTSD symptoms finally took over, I couldn't go on.
That then began the difficult and uphill battle of first figuring out what was wrong, as my heart rate was elevated and my nervous system was "stuck" in overdrive.   As I watched myself change in the mirror I was even more unsure of what was at the root.   Thankfully, I am now recieving excellent care from a doctor that absolutely understands what I am going through.  I am disabled, due to my PTSD... I have no benefit package to fall back on and have no credit options available.  I have stared breeding some fish to sell on the clasifieds.  But other than that, I have no other options... 
That brings me to where I am now... my disability only pays so much.  My wife and three loving children...they need me...AND I need YOU!
I have watched my wife, who has had to be near me in order to help talk me down/through, unshakable in her faith and love for me and the kids...take on my and more, all the while aslo suffering from lack of sleep due to my nightmares.  I am also one who wants to work.  Believe me I have tried other options and have considered other possible new careers... where I am at, this is the best fit.  I want to take some of the load off my wife.   We have come up with a doable strategy, she will handle bookings at first, until I get comfortable.  
I have struggled with this "campaign" but having lost our home, having no benefit program available to me, other than my disability.  I have no benefit package and as you can imagine now no credit.   So this is the best option that I could find.   It makes you feel extremely vulnerable...and I am definitively operating in new terrotary... but I have to do this.  So here I am with my hat in my hands... I am finding that GO FUND ME makes this easy for us to manage, and the tools that they offer in order to help get the word out is awesome.  It also allows me, at my pace, to thank everyone who supports the campaign.  

My wife has some computer work, which she does from home, as she has had to be home with me to help me down from my episodes.  Together she and I can grow this slowly at first; as my health allows.  I am going to get better.

Fortunately, I can drive.  Having had a lawn care business with my father and now deceased younger brother way back, and having worked at Golf Clubs, Landscaping companies...I know what I can and can't do.  I am not ready to return to school, or even working in a store as being in groups, even attending our church, can be very difficult and symptomatic.

So here it is...  I want to contribute again...financially.  I NEED to get back at it, but having been in charge of people, I know I can't work for someone else as I may not be able to go...but taking my dog (hopefully I will have a service dog, in the future...but till that time I can take one of our dogs with me as they help considerably with my PTSD symptoms (Snow Plowing) in a truck and snow plowing (We live just south of North Bay), I am surrounded by places that need snow plowing.   There are many, many cottages in the area that will need mowing and simple landscapping. I also plan to cut wood...I have access to lots!!!  This spring after the snow melts and the ground hardens, I will be cutting fire wood to sell, but that has to "season" ... So there it is...I can grow this as I get better.
So I need a 4x4 Pickup truck,  (with plow and lights)  
Landscaping trailer, Lawn Tractor
Other small lanscaping tools, Gas Weed Trimmer, Back Pack Leaf Blower. We have been working on this concept for a long time.   Thanks to friends who also found my BINDER!!!! YES!!!  AWESOME!!  It has info I have been collecting for years.   Sorry, just a little pumped about that as I feared it had been lost.
I have chain saws, and other tools that I can use to build my business.
My goal is to raise $10,000.00 to launch my business.    We are half way there!!!
NO donation too small and none to big!  Every contribution helps, be it financial and/or sharing this campaign with others.  
Sincerely,
Shawn

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Organizer

Shawn James 
Organizer
South River, ON
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