Making life a little easier
Donation protected
Dad, Phil, Pip, Grandad -anyone who knows him, will understand why and just how hard it has been to see him go through the last year and a half.
The man you would always find at the centre of all our parties and get togethers. Or our card games on a friday at the pub. Slinfold Cricket club vice president and manager of Slinfold FC of many years.The man that if you ever needed would be there in any way possible. Incredibly generous with money and a very big heart.
Dads story started with a little twitch in his finger. We had no idea that this could be a stroke indicator. Dad went out with his work colleagues on the 9th of March for a game of golf, stroke striked and he ended up unconscious on a golf course in Dartford, which then caused a seizure, the first seizure of his life. A week in Durrant Valley Hospital, who started him on blood thinning medication and he was released, with high hopes this was just a blip in the road and he was healthy to move on and continue a road to recovery.
Unphased Dad started to get stronger quickly, he returned to work on the 23rd March 2020 (The day we entered official Covid lockdown). Mum happened to be in the kitchen while dad was working away in the lounge only to turn and find him incredibly unwell, unable to communicate and clearly in an incredible amount of pain... screaming on the floor. Not the normal FAST symptoms however it took 57 minutes for an ambulance to arrive to him and everyone knows how time critical a stroke is. Confirmed in a CT scan that this type of stroke was a cortical venous thrombosis (this type only accounting for 5% of strokes) we were quickly informed of its severity - not many people survive the next 72 hours after and it was paramount that specialists had involvement at St Georges at Tooting hospital, alot of time was spent on the phone to them but it quickly became evident that as is this was lockdown the chances of dad receiving help from them was minimal. It also became evident that Dad had lost his right side entirely, his swallow, and speech. We now know that his recovery would have been a whole lot more positive had he had the operation to release the bleed on his brain. Thankfully he survived.
Dad spent weeks and months in hospital. Day 2 of admission and we were all told that the hospitals were going into lockdown and none of us were able to be with him . The heartbreak this caused is just not explainable. I cant summarise what it feels like to walk away from someone in this situation who you love so much. Someone who was newly disabled, newly non verbal, and feeling very ill didnt have any of his loved ones there for him to help verbalising how he was feeling or what he might of needed, We all spent many a night beating ourselves up for this. It was an awful feeling of helplessness.
One week in hospital and a very poorly Dad was transferred to a stroke rehab ward at a different and more local hospital, Piper Ward. All we had were facetimes and something wasnt ringing right, we knew that Dad was very poorly and all he could say was yes or no.... but he was uninterested and tired and felt so ill... A COVID test it was, and a positive result it was also. The scary part was is that we had all discussed "what if he catches covid, what are his chances of survival" not thinking it would actually happen.
It was gut wrenching. We were petrified.
He didnt have it easy, but he made it through COVID, he was moved from isolation and back onto the stroke ward. Only to then be diagnosed with Sepsis - Another few days of sleeplessness and being petrified for him.
Sepsis recovered dad then starts to complain of a dull ache in his leg, a CT scan reveals a DVT for which Dad has been on Warfarin for ever since. What a tough man.
Dad did a total of five months in hospital, he was then moved to Kerwin court rehab which luckily happened to be five minutes up the road. He hated it. One of the worst memories of this whole journey has to be receiving a call from Dad, incredibly upset, stuck in this room,in rehab, wheelchair bound, in a power cut, on his own. It was that point we would have given up anything to get him home so we could all look after him.
So on the 3rd of July we made the decision to bring Dad home,this meant that Mum had to take sabattical leave to care for him. We transitioned Mum and Dads house so dad could sleep downstairs. Emma , Hayley and I --- and Simon coming all the way down from Tamworth as much as he could, took it in turns to stay with him and help with his recovery. It got to the point of him getting himself up and down to bed, backward and forward to the toilet. Trying to walk without a stick. He was comfortable. But then the seizures started.
When you think of a seizure you think of someone on the floor shaking, unconscious and they eventually come round, this isnt the same. All bar one occasion dad has been entirely awake, every seizure is different, but every one horrendous, They all hinder his understanding. If Dad has had a lovely day of recovery this is always hindered by a seizure. Post seizure brain fog kicks in which means his understanding goes, mood is effected, sense of achievement goes and we are back to square one with any stroke progress we may have made. Three tablets he takes
now for his seizures, these give him circulatory and balance problems and a constant feeling of a fuzzy head.
We are now a year and nearly a half down the line with not much improvement sadly -mainly being the fault of seizures; Dad has had 10 inpatient stays because of seizures, Some days dad will have several, some go on for minutes some have been known to go on an hour plus. Resulting in ambulances coming and going. Every day is lived in fear of a seizure.
Mum and Dad have had to make the ultimate decision to leave the slinfold village life they have known all of their married lives. Dad may not be able to return to work again but we never say never but in order to make their lives that bit easier mum will need to return to work. In order to do this we have to make Dad comfortable and safe at home, we have a few things that we need help funding to make this safe such as a seizure alarm, and comfortable armchair. A lightweight wheelchair would also be beneficial as dad always worries about mum putting the current one in and out the boot which stops him wanting to leave the house. There are a few other things that would help his recovery that the NHS doesnt fund. And if people are feeling generous enough we hope to raise enough to also pay for some more speech and physio for him.
Ultimately, even though a majority of this ask is to help Dad, the whole idea is to alleviate the pressure from our Mum who spends most of her days worrying profusely about Dad. For dad to be comfortable so she can return to work and not have to worry 'as much' is very important for us all.
We appreciate anything you can donate
all our love xx
The man you would always find at the centre of all our parties and get togethers. Or our card games on a friday at the pub. Slinfold Cricket club vice president and manager of Slinfold FC of many years.The man that if you ever needed would be there in any way possible. Incredibly generous with money and a very big heart.
Dads story started with a little twitch in his finger. We had no idea that this could be a stroke indicator. Dad went out with his work colleagues on the 9th of March for a game of golf, stroke striked and he ended up unconscious on a golf course in Dartford, which then caused a seizure, the first seizure of his life. A week in Durrant Valley Hospital, who started him on blood thinning medication and he was released, with high hopes this was just a blip in the road and he was healthy to move on and continue a road to recovery.
Unphased Dad started to get stronger quickly, he returned to work on the 23rd March 2020 (The day we entered official Covid lockdown). Mum happened to be in the kitchen while dad was working away in the lounge only to turn and find him incredibly unwell, unable to communicate and clearly in an incredible amount of pain... screaming on the floor. Not the normal FAST symptoms however it took 57 minutes for an ambulance to arrive to him and everyone knows how time critical a stroke is. Confirmed in a CT scan that this type of stroke was a cortical venous thrombosis (this type only accounting for 5% of strokes) we were quickly informed of its severity - not many people survive the next 72 hours after and it was paramount that specialists had involvement at St Georges at Tooting hospital, alot of time was spent on the phone to them but it quickly became evident that as is this was lockdown the chances of dad receiving help from them was minimal. It also became evident that Dad had lost his right side entirely, his swallow, and speech. We now know that his recovery would have been a whole lot more positive had he had the operation to release the bleed on his brain. Thankfully he survived.
Dad spent weeks and months in hospital. Day 2 of admission and we were all told that the hospitals were going into lockdown and none of us were able to be with him . The heartbreak this caused is just not explainable. I cant summarise what it feels like to walk away from someone in this situation who you love so much. Someone who was newly disabled, newly non verbal, and feeling very ill didnt have any of his loved ones there for him to help verbalising how he was feeling or what he might of needed, We all spent many a night beating ourselves up for this. It was an awful feeling of helplessness.
One week in hospital and a very poorly Dad was transferred to a stroke rehab ward at a different and more local hospital, Piper Ward. All we had were facetimes and something wasnt ringing right, we knew that Dad was very poorly and all he could say was yes or no.... but he was uninterested and tired and felt so ill... A COVID test it was, and a positive result it was also. The scary part was is that we had all discussed "what if he catches covid, what are his chances of survival" not thinking it would actually happen.
It was gut wrenching. We were petrified.
He didnt have it easy, but he made it through COVID, he was moved from isolation and back onto the stroke ward. Only to then be diagnosed with Sepsis - Another few days of sleeplessness and being petrified for him.
Sepsis recovered dad then starts to complain of a dull ache in his leg, a CT scan reveals a DVT for which Dad has been on Warfarin for ever since. What a tough man.
Dad did a total of five months in hospital, he was then moved to Kerwin court rehab which luckily happened to be five minutes up the road. He hated it. One of the worst memories of this whole journey has to be receiving a call from Dad, incredibly upset, stuck in this room,in rehab, wheelchair bound, in a power cut, on his own. It was that point we would have given up anything to get him home so we could all look after him.
So on the 3rd of July we made the decision to bring Dad home,this meant that Mum had to take sabattical leave to care for him. We transitioned Mum and Dads house so dad could sleep downstairs. Emma , Hayley and I --- and Simon coming all the way down from Tamworth as much as he could, took it in turns to stay with him and help with his recovery. It got to the point of him getting himself up and down to bed, backward and forward to the toilet. Trying to walk without a stick. He was comfortable. But then the seizures started.
When you think of a seizure you think of someone on the floor shaking, unconscious and they eventually come round, this isnt the same. All bar one occasion dad has been entirely awake, every seizure is different, but every one horrendous, They all hinder his understanding. If Dad has had a lovely day of recovery this is always hindered by a seizure. Post seizure brain fog kicks in which means his understanding goes, mood is effected, sense of achievement goes and we are back to square one with any stroke progress we may have made. Three tablets he takes
now for his seizures, these give him circulatory and balance problems and a constant feeling of a fuzzy head.
We are now a year and nearly a half down the line with not much improvement sadly -mainly being the fault of seizures; Dad has had 10 inpatient stays because of seizures, Some days dad will have several, some go on for minutes some have been known to go on an hour plus. Resulting in ambulances coming and going. Every day is lived in fear of a seizure.
Mum and Dad have had to make the ultimate decision to leave the slinfold village life they have known all of their married lives. Dad may not be able to return to work again but we never say never but in order to make their lives that bit easier mum will need to return to work. In order to do this we have to make Dad comfortable and safe at home, we have a few things that we need help funding to make this safe such as a seizure alarm, and comfortable armchair. A lightweight wheelchair would also be beneficial as dad always worries about mum putting the current one in and out the boot which stops him wanting to leave the house. There are a few other things that would help his recovery that the NHS doesnt fund. And if people are feeling generous enough we hope to raise enough to also pay for some more speech and physio for him.
Ultimately, even though a majority of this ask is to help Dad, the whole idea is to alleviate the pressure from our Mum who spends most of her days worrying profusely about Dad. For dad to be comfortable so she can return to work and not have to worry 'as much' is very important for us all.
We appreciate anything you can donate
all our love xx
Organizer and beneficiary
Victoria Merritt
Organizer
England
Susan Lambert
Beneficiary