Help Me Get To My Mom With Dementia For Christmas

Please help me get to Maryland to help my disabled mother, Thurza Fayle, and stay for  Christmas. Due to a financial crisis caused by COVID-19, I have only been able to see my mother once since moving back to the East Coast one year ago. Mom is in urgent need of extensive dental care. She needs several teeth pulled asap to prevent the risk of developing an infection that could put her in the hospital. My mother has always been terrified of the dentist and refuses care unless I am by her side. I plan on taking Mom to the University of Maryland School of Dentistry since she does not have dental insurance. Mom is also overdue to have her shunt checked by a neurosurgeon - another appointment that requires my presence, one that should take place before any sedation with a dentist. An appointment with the dermatologist is also needed as I just learned that what I thought was a scab on her nose, back in April, is actually a growth that is spreading.  I intend to escort Mom to these appointments before Christmas and stay with her for the holiday. 

I lost my job in August due to a knee injury and was without income until 11/11/22. This was after losing almost everything I had and starting life over in a new state. My job presently is only part-time, and I owe $689 for 3 months monthly premium for health insurance, or I’m going to lose it just as I’m finally about to meet the specialist I’ve waited months to see for testing that could give me a long-awaited diagnosis that could change my life. My appointment is this coming Wednesday, 11/07/22, but I’ll have to cancel if I can’t pay $689 because I cannot afford to pay in full for the visit or tests.

I need to rent a vehicle to get to Maryland since I had to sell mine in 2021. It has to be an SUV so that I can pick up warm clothes from storage. Since my wardrobe for a decade was island attire, I have only a few warm outfits and cannot afford to buy anything new. I have coats, boots, sweaters, and pants in storage. Another reason I cannot take a train or bus is that I need to be able to transport my mother during my visit. I will also need to spend one night in a hotel on my return home to North Carolina.

My mother lives with traumatic brain injury, TBI. I have provided for my mother, financially and otherwise, since 2009, acting as her legal guardian for over a decade. Mom’s needs surpassed our living together, with my being her full-time caretaker years ago. Moving Mom is not an option, and I am not allowed to live on the grounds of a senior community. Her parents passed away many years ago, as did her only sibling. I am all my mom has left.

My mother has been disabled since I was 9 years of age. After miraculously surviving a motorcycle accident in 1984, Mom almost died again in August of 2009, ultimately leading to her living in the senior community where she currently resides. My mom became disabled when she was only 29 years old, suffering TBI from being thrown from a motorcycle due to a blown tire. She was revived after being pronounced dead and again defied all the odds by opening her eyes after laying comatose for over 2 months. Doctors warned us that Mom would be in a vegetative state for life, but she went on to prove them wrong. After years of intensive rehabilitation, she learned to talk, feed, dress, bathe herself and walk again - even hold a job! Thurza is beloved by all for her positive attitude, sense of humor, and endless love of animals. She is a survivor, a warrior, grateful to be alive, aware of her blessings, and wants to maintain her limited independence for as long as possible; she earned it!

DISABILITY: the list of long-term effects from traumatic brain injury is long. Mom suffers severe short-term memory loss as well as severe visual impairment, which prevents her from being able to read and makes identifying objects difficult. Her depth of perception is affected, as are her reflexes. She can’t keep track of the time, so she doesn’t know the day of the week or what month it is. Mom has developed the beginnings of dementia and depends on me for everything from ordering her grocery delivery to paying her bills and scheduling her appointments to shopping for necessities, and so on.

SITUATION: the cost of both the rental vehicle and hotel will increase as time passes, and I can’t make appointments without knowing if I’ll be in Maryland; therefore, I need to raise this money as quickly as possible. Donations take 2-5 business days to deposit.

Expenses:

SUV 12/19-12/27 = $1,132.71

Hotel (one night) = $153.68 with taxes and fees plus $50 pet fee = $203.68

$200 = 1 week of groceries for the two of us plus Christmas dinner and my dog, Kanga’s, food and treats

$150 = fuel (North Carolina to Maryland and back and 1 week driving Mom where she needs to go)

$689 = past due health insurance/monthly premium for 3 months

Total = $2,375.00

**Additional $818 for the $300 Budget Rental will freeze for using a debit card (that’s money I had raised for a hotel and food) and $518 for December bills because I have spent weeks too ill to work. 

Please consider donating to our cause and sharing our situation with as many people as possible across all platforms: Facebook, Instagram, etc.

Thank you for your support and consideration. Wishing you and yours a healthy and blessed holiday season.

Happy holidays,

Angela Coté

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