Memorial and funeral cost

Hello family and friends I’m trying my best to find the words to say…….. I’m finding spaces of peace in the mist of pain crying and faking like I’m strong for the boys. I didn’t prepare for this how could I prepare for this?! I wanted my children and grandchildren to bury me not the other way around. Curtis was a beautiful fun loving son full of life with a loving heart for the Lord! When pastor would ask if anyone needs prayer he would ask for wisdom every time. Parents during a Decatur football game seen him praying for their son that got kicked out the game Curtis was praying and calming him down they were like is your son praying for my son I said yes. I see him as still my lilttle boy at 9 who made a shot in basketball at the y dancing on the court looking up in the crowd for my eyes to make contact with his with pride. I’m trying not to feel guilt for not saving him but I couldn’t hold him down. I did my best but saying and knowing is different than feeling something this badly. We as a family is trying to lay my son to rest but we need help. I had no insurance and was not financially prepared for this! Thank u, anything will help. Thank u thank u thank u!!