I'm a 29 year-old Black genderqueer artist and educator, and in March I plan to become a college student for the first time. It's hard for me to contain my excitement as I inch closer to realizing a dream deferred.

My entire life I have been adrift in this world without the anchor of a family-centered support system. There have been times of relative peace where I was afforded just a taste of what that could look like: Living in a shelter for battered women and children when I was quite young, participating in a college-prep program every Saturday and then every summer of my high school career, not to mention the invaluable friends I've known who made me feel seen and wanted.

Through the miracle of friendship and with a burning desire to create and connect, I've managed to continue on through this life for all its perils and pitfalls. I've still managed to hold onto the naive and optimistic daydreamer that would preserve himself by escaping into fantasy or by gorging himself on laughter in preparation for harder times.

Nowadays I am proud to say that I stand alongside that curious and earnest child as an elder to safeguard his dreams and transmute them into reality. I've known for a long time that in order to find peace with the child who lacked, I would need to become the guardian who provided. I am all too happy and determined to undertake this next chapter, and while I know that my resolve is paramount, I must also lean on my peers and comrades to make this next journey.

In the past few months, I've gotten a peek at how my life can look when my passions and convictions are aligned. I recently started teaching an after-school enrichment program for first through sixth graders, and the opportunity to serve those children and their families every day has been the greatest gift. Being able to grow and learn alongside these young people and see pieces of myself reflected in their facets has given me a new devotion to family, community and life in general. I've experienced that feeling that the winds of change are ushering me towards my purpose in life, and I know that were I to turn away from them, I would be doing a disservice to not only myself, but to those lives as well.

Earlier this month, I was let go from my teaching position. I was told that the relationships of trust and safety that I had been cultivating just didn't matter that much. I was told that I didn't discipline the children enough.

Requests that I had expressed discomfort with had now become demands. My co-workers heaped praise on me for my teaching style, but then that would be undermined by a supervisor seeking to keep me scared for my job. I communicated the impact that the sudden change in expectations was having on my health and that these demands were far outside the parameters of the duties I had agreed to at the time of hiring. I was told that this was the job and that if it didn't work for me, I should leave. Not wanting to abandon the students that I saw as my children, or lose the most fulfilling job I'd ever had, I racked my brain for ways to stretch myself into the shape they demanded of me.

And then earlier this month, I was let go from my teaching position. I was told that the relationships of trust and safety that I had been cultivating just didn't matter that much. I was told that I didn't discipline the children enough. I was told that I was unreliable. For months I had ridden bus after bus and BART after BART, spending between three and five hours a day traveling to and from a job that would only pay me for the three to four hours I was in the classroom. And I did this happily, almost paying for the opportunity to work because the work meant that much to me. And then I was disposed of with barely a word. Needless to say I was caught off guard with no backup plan and no savings to speak of.

And now here I am with rent due in two weeks and no job prospects as of yet. I am in dire need of assistance. I have no health insurance, but am on life saving medication. I have no computer to use for school, or shoes that I can walk in without hurting my feet. I've gotten accustomed to going through life without the things that most consider necessities, but even I have to admit that this sort of survival can hardly be called living. As a Black queer disabled person, my hope is that beginning my education journey will help me achieve security I haven’t had. I am hoping these funds will support me with life’s expenses while I look for a new job and begin my courses. There is a lot that I need in order to get to where I'm going, and I would sure appreciate any help you can offer me along the way.

I thank you for your time, and I hope to see you in the place where our dreams meet.

Your friend,

Nick