Help me get back on solid ground...

"I cannot believe I am doing this. I can't believe this is where I am at 40 (i started this when i was 38. Its been teo years and im not making any headway). "

That's all that is running through my head while I write this.

Looking back at the last four years of my life and I cannot for the life of me understand why or how I've managed to hit rock bottom. But here I am, and maybe it would be best to explain the past four years so you have a better understanding of why you are donating.

In 2019, I took a huge risk and moved to California to pursue a dream job.

In 2020, Covid hit (all of us), and by January 2021, I had to cut ties with that dream job (I was allowed to work remotely for a bit due to Covid).

2021 comes, and things are going ok. No complaints. That is until the first time it happened - the fainting. I started to black out /faint regularly. Dizzy, light-headed, weak, unable to eat, walk, and sometimes sleep. Come to find out, I was dying. After 3 or 4 doctors told me I was exaggerating or lying, I finally found one that believed me and explained to my wife and I that I was dying from a rare brain defect/disorder that was preventing my brain from flushing brain fluid regularly and it was causing my brain to swell. This led to fainting, dizziness, and constant migraines and would eventually kill me if I didn't do anything about it.

Well, here I am, still ticking. I underwent a relatively quick surgery and it would appear that I am cured of what ailed me.

Unfortunately, insurance didnt cover everything and I still require regular checkups. I had to empty my 401k and pay off my medical bills and that was pretty crushing, but I knew it had to happen.

Fast forward to 2022 and things have gotten more interesting.

I was involved in a car accident that was unavoidable and absolutely not my fault. But the kid who hit me was a new driver and did not have car insurance. It is unclear if his parents are insured or if they will fight it but needless to say, I ended up paying for my deductible and some of my medical bills (and rental car) out of pocket. I ended up with a broken foot, whiplash and a brand-new car that was now sitting in a body shop.

As a result of my injuries, I lost my job. My employer, LEAR, terminated me because I was "unable to perform the required duties of my job as outlined in the job description". This, of course, was untrue but there was no arguing it.

As a result of the termination, I now unable to pay any of my bills, mortgage, car payment, put gas in my car or even buy food for my puppy and me.

In july of 2024, i got my settlement check. I used it all to stay at a hotel, pay my car payment finally, and pay for my sons daycare which is 1600/month. and no matter what Jobs I apply to, I am either overqualified (Chipotle, Enterprise Rent-a-Car, Target etc) or I am underqualified and lack the necessary experience.

I havent given up, but I just need some help.

I have tried to live my life in such a way that promotes charity and goodwill towards others. I give to charitable organizations on a regular basis and even teach at a local tech school for free (it's a non-profit school, and I can't get paid for any of it even if I wanted to).

Whatever funds are earned from this, will go straight towards paying my bills such as rent, car payment, utility bills and medical bills.

I still cannot believe I am writing this but I dont know what else to do.

In return for your kindness and generosity, I can pledge 2 things:

1. when I am back up and running smoothly, I will repay you either directly or to a charity of your choosing. Im a "pay it forward" kinda guy.

2. I will draw you a picture of your car or a car that you love, lost, or own.

***UPDATE 10/5/2023

after over 1000 submitted applications, countless resume rewrites, a dozen or so interviews, hundreds of rejections. I finally got several solid job offers. Unfortunately, due to the UAW strike, those jobs were cancelled. 

I had just put money down on an apartment for my dog and I, and because of the job cancelations, had to cancel the apartment and lost my $635.

I have applied to everything from Kroger and chipotle to tier-1 automotive suppliers and OEMs for quality engineering and design. 

Every apartment I've gone to wants to see a monthly income that's at least 2 to 3 times the rent payment. 

So now, I am living in my car. Air mattress, a crappy cooler, clothes and plenty of water. 

It's getting colder out and while I could add more blankets, I can't afford them and they just get covered in dog hair. 

I don't know what else to do. 

Thank you. I mean that with all of my being. You may or may not know me, but your gift will not go unrequited.