To my loved ones, their loved ones, strangers, et al.:

For years now, I’ve put off gender-affirming surgery. As each day passes, I can't shake the feeling that I need to do something about it as soon as possible.

I try to keep a confident public attitude, try showing that I am strong, for the sake of other trans girls. But now I must admit that I am in need of help.

I live in the shadow of my public-facing self, and beyond the mirrors I catch glimpses of myself in, there are mirrors to the past that remain online, allowing me to see an uncanny false self, someone who was barely there.

As time keeps pressing on, isolation has been my number one option. Though, as I accept these feelings, the more urgent it becomes that I must do something about it.

It doesn’t feel like I can be truly alive without these procedures.

These surgeries are far beyond anything I can afford, so I ask humbly for help here. However much you can give.

-Lili