Help Provide Care for Disabled Vet Walter
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Hello! I am raising funds for my father, Walter Bernstein. Walter is 83 and a totally disabled veteran. My mother passed away in November 2017. Since then, it has been my dad and I finding our way without her. Dad has several service-connected disabilities, including a bad back and heart condition. Despite this, he has been an amazing father and never let this impact his family. He cared for my mother through most of their 56-year marriage. His Jewish faith is also very important to him. He grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family in Boro Park, Brooklyn. His family didn't have wealth, but they were rich in love. He helped to take care of his parents as they aged and now I am trying to do the same. In Judaism, it is imperative that we honor and respect our parents.
October 12, 2019
My father fell at home. Fortunately, he didn't break of fracture anything. But, he did have a urinary tract infection. He was admitted to the hospital for a few days and was transferred to a skilled nursing rehab facility.
October 17, 2019
He started therapy immediately and seemed to be doing better.
October 19, 2019
Much to my horror, I received a call that my father was being rushed back to the ER. He was given insulin and his blood sugar dropped into the 20s. He also choked while being fed and developed aspiration pneumonia. He was also diagnosed with metabolic encephalopathy, as a result. He spent 2 weeks in ICU/PCU. He was in and out of consciousness. Some days, I couldn't have a conversation with him. He had a nasal feeding tube because he could no longer swallow. Most days he was kept in restraints because he wanted to pull out the tube and IVs. October 28, 2019 After 10 days in the hospital, he was transferred to an acute long-term care hospital to continue recovering. He now had been bedridden for almost 2 weeks. He spent another 2.5 weeks here in bed, occasionally being transferred into a chair by hoyer lift. He was frequently pulling out the feeding tube, sohe had a feeding tube inserted into his stomach. His mouth was always dry as he was never even allowed ice chips. He slept all day, but occasionally we were able to have a brief conversation. I was told by the nurses that he may never fully recover or be the same father that I had adored for 44 years. During this time, I also took an unpaid leave of absence so that I could focus on my Dad's care.
November 13, 2019
On the recommendation of the social worker, my dad was transferred to Encompass Rehabilitation Hospital of Largo. I temporarily relocated to a hotel in Largo, so that I could be close to him.
November 14, 2019
The staff at Encompass was unable to wake dad up, so he was taken to a a local hospital. He was awake when I arrived and was discharged back to Encompass that afternoon.
November 15, 2019
Back at Encompass, the hard work begins. Dad had daily physical, occupational, and speech therapy. The therapists started with the parallel bars. At times, it was excruciating. His muscles had atrophied from being in bed for so long and he was in constant pain. The peg tube in his stomach became infected and it made moving that much harder. But, my amazing father worked hard. Within a few days, he was able to walk with a walker. The speech therapist worked with him on swallowing and eating, but he only progressed to applesauce and yogurt under supervision. Occupational therapy had to teach him how to brush his teeth, get dressed, and wash his face. During this time, I made arrangements for Dad to come home the day after Thanksgiving. We have a 2-story house, so I had to turn our living room and dining room into his bedroom and medical area. He was coming home with a feeding tube, so I had to be prepared for many, many supplies to be delivered. I would now have to feed him through the tube and crush his medications to give him through the tube.
November 29, 2019
The big day is here! Dad is coming home. I had to arrange for private duty caregivers to be with us 24-hours every day, since I could not care for Dad on my own. He still needs help with toileting, bathing, and dressing. I also will be back to work full-time, working from home.
December 1, 2019 Dad is having terrible stomach pain, so we are heading back to the ER. He has been constipated and has become impacted. They clear that up and send him home on December 3, 2019.
December 7, 2019
Early this morning, Dad is having jaw and chest pain. We call for an ambulance and head back to the ER. I learn that he has had a heart attack, as well as congestive heart failure. During this stay, he is upgraded to purred foods and enjoys eating again, but the thick liquids are awful. He spends a few days in the hospital recovering and is now facing more time at a skilled nursing rehab center. I am devastated and concerned about the care he will receive, but the doctors and social workers convince me this is best for him.
December 10, 2019
Dad is discharged from the hospital and transferred to a different skilled nursing rehab. He falls twice during this time and has a major skin tear and a cut on his head. We are very luck again that nothing is broken. A few more weeks of therapy is ahead. I know that I won't be able to bring him home again, since he is still confined to the wheelchair and needs help tolieting, bathing, and dressing. Options are limited, as long as he still has the feeding tube. I am told that Medicare will be discharging him on December 25th. Now, where will Dad be able to go? Fortunately, the GI doctor is able to remove the feeding tube within a few weeks. I was able to find an assisted living facility that provides 24-hour care, as well as nursing care. The cost is more than I would have ever considered in the past, but now what choice do I have? This is a nice environment and Dad would have his own apartment and his own things.
December 25, 2019
It's moving day! His furniture arrived a few days ago and now it is time to move in. I spend the first night with him. The separation from me is difficult for both of us, but coming home is not an option yet. Dad's wheelchair won't fit in our house and he still needs more care than I can provide.
February 17, 2019
Dad is still struggling to regain the function of his legs and walk again. He is retaining fluid and has edema in his legs, which causes him pain. Physical Therapy is slow going. I am realizing his stay in the assisted living is going to be longer than we both hoped.
The costs are more than I can handle on my own and Dad's compensation doesn't cover the cost, as well as the mortgage, house expenses, and daily living expenses. The total cost is approximately $6,800 per month. In addition, I have to provide him snacks, toiletries, linens, clothing, and incontinence supplies. I have spent my savings, as well as dipped into my retirement to pay all of our bills and expenses. I work still work full-time from my Dad's apartment, but if the stress and anxiety of adjusting to this new reality continue, it will increasingly become more difficult to provide the support for my Dad and be productive in my job. I have become physically ill at times because of emotional and financial burdens.
Asking for help is difficult, but Federal and Local resources, including the Veterans Administration have been unable to assist. Walter had fallen through the cracks or is on 6-month waiting lists for assistance. I have even reached out to local politicians and national candidates to no avail.
I am actively looking for resources to help modify our home to bring Dad home. However, there is a small step to enter the house, and Dad’s bedroom and full bathroom are on the 2nd floor. The doorways are also too narrow to accommodate a wheelchair. As such, our home is inaccessible to him. In order to return home, the house will need a ramp, doorways widened, a stair lift to get to the second floor, and accessibility modifications to the bathroom on the second floor. In the interim, we need financial assistance to adjust to our new life. I am asking for help from family, friends, and strangers to help ease the burden of recent events. Thank you! With love from, Walter and Susan
October 12, 2019
My father fell at home. Fortunately, he didn't break of fracture anything. But, he did have a urinary tract infection. He was admitted to the hospital for a few days and was transferred to a skilled nursing rehab facility.
October 17, 2019
He started therapy immediately and seemed to be doing better.
October 19, 2019
Much to my horror, I received a call that my father was being rushed back to the ER. He was given insulin and his blood sugar dropped into the 20s. He also choked while being fed and developed aspiration pneumonia. He was also diagnosed with metabolic encephalopathy, as a result. He spent 2 weeks in ICU/PCU. He was in and out of consciousness. Some days, I couldn't have a conversation with him. He had a nasal feeding tube because he could no longer swallow. Most days he was kept in restraints because he wanted to pull out the tube and IVs. October 28, 2019 After 10 days in the hospital, he was transferred to an acute long-term care hospital to continue recovering. He now had been bedridden for almost 2 weeks. He spent another 2.5 weeks here in bed, occasionally being transferred into a chair by hoyer lift. He was frequently pulling out the feeding tube, sohe had a feeding tube inserted into his stomach. His mouth was always dry as he was never even allowed ice chips. He slept all day, but occasionally we were able to have a brief conversation. I was told by the nurses that he may never fully recover or be the same father that I had adored for 44 years. During this time, I also took an unpaid leave of absence so that I could focus on my Dad's care.
November 13, 2019
On the recommendation of the social worker, my dad was transferred to Encompass Rehabilitation Hospital of Largo. I temporarily relocated to a hotel in Largo, so that I could be close to him.
November 14, 2019
The staff at Encompass was unable to wake dad up, so he was taken to a a local hospital. He was awake when I arrived and was discharged back to Encompass that afternoon.
November 15, 2019
Back at Encompass, the hard work begins. Dad had daily physical, occupational, and speech therapy. The therapists started with the parallel bars. At times, it was excruciating. His muscles had atrophied from being in bed for so long and he was in constant pain. The peg tube in his stomach became infected and it made moving that much harder. But, my amazing father worked hard. Within a few days, he was able to walk with a walker. The speech therapist worked with him on swallowing and eating, but he only progressed to applesauce and yogurt under supervision. Occupational therapy had to teach him how to brush his teeth, get dressed, and wash his face. During this time, I made arrangements for Dad to come home the day after Thanksgiving. We have a 2-story house, so I had to turn our living room and dining room into his bedroom and medical area. He was coming home with a feeding tube, so I had to be prepared for many, many supplies to be delivered. I would now have to feed him through the tube and crush his medications to give him through the tube.
November 29, 2019
The big day is here! Dad is coming home. I had to arrange for private duty caregivers to be with us 24-hours every day, since I could not care for Dad on my own. He still needs help with toileting, bathing, and dressing. I also will be back to work full-time, working from home.
December 1, 2019 Dad is having terrible stomach pain, so we are heading back to the ER. He has been constipated and has become impacted. They clear that up and send him home on December 3, 2019.
December 7, 2019
Early this morning, Dad is having jaw and chest pain. We call for an ambulance and head back to the ER. I learn that he has had a heart attack, as well as congestive heart failure. During this stay, he is upgraded to purred foods and enjoys eating again, but the thick liquids are awful. He spends a few days in the hospital recovering and is now facing more time at a skilled nursing rehab center. I am devastated and concerned about the care he will receive, but the doctors and social workers convince me this is best for him.
December 10, 2019
Dad is discharged from the hospital and transferred to a different skilled nursing rehab. He falls twice during this time and has a major skin tear and a cut on his head. We are very luck again that nothing is broken. A few more weeks of therapy is ahead. I know that I won't be able to bring him home again, since he is still confined to the wheelchair and needs help tolieting, bathing, and dressing. Options are limited, as long as he still has the feeding tube. I am told that Medicare will be discharging him on December 25th. Now, where will Dad be able to go? Fortunately, the GI doctor is able to remove the feeding tube within a few weeks. I was able to find an assisted living facility that provides 24-hour care, as well as nursing care. The cost is more than I would have ever considered in the past, but now what choice do I have? This is a nice environment and Dad would have his own apartment and his own things.
December 25, 2019
It's moving day! His furniture arrived a few days ago and now it is time to move in. I spend the first night with him. The separation from me is difficult for both of us, but coming home is not an option yet. Dad's wheelchair won't fit in our house and he still needs more care than I can provide.
February 17, 2019
Dad is still struggling to regain the function of his legs and walk again. He is retaining fluid and has edema in his legs, which causes him pain. Physical Therapy is slow going. I am realizing his stay in the assisted living is going to be longer than we both hoped.
The costs are more than I can handle on my own and Dad's compensation doesn't cover the cost, as well as the mortgage, house expenses, and daily living expenses. The total cost is approximately $6,800 per month. In addition, I have to provide him snacks, toiletries, linens, clothing, and incontinence supplies. I have spent my savings, as well as dipped into my retirement to pay all of our bills and expenses. I work still work full-time from my Dad's apartment, but if the stress and anxiety of adjusting to this new reality continue, it will increasingly become more difficult to provide the support for my Dad and be productive in my job. I have become physically ill at times because of emotional and financial burdens.
Asking for help is difficult, but Federal and Local resources, including the Veterans Administration have been unable to assist. Walter had fallen through the cracks or is on 6-month waiting lists for assistance. I have even reached out to local politicians and national candidates to no avail.
I am actively looking for resources to help modify our home to bring Dad home. However, there is a small step to enter the house, and Dad’s bedroom and full bathroom are on the 2nd floor. The doorways are also too narrow to accommodate a wheelchair. As such, our home is inaccessible to him. In order to return home, the house will need a ramp, doorways widened, a stair lift to get to the second floor, and accessibility modifications to the bathroom on the second floor. In the interim, we need financial assistance to adjust to our new life. I am asking for help from family, friends, and strangers to help ease the burden of recent events. Thank you! With love from, Walter and Susan
Organizer
Susan Bernstein
Organizer
Tampa, FL