Help me start my life.

Hey there. Where to begin? My name is Matt, I'm a 23 year old guy who's currently living in Brighton UK studying at Uni. I'm interested in video games, music, film and photography. I'm also a transgender male. I started transitioning in April 2016, it was quite rushed at first, I felt so much regret for not transitioning sooner. By February 2017 I was on testosterone as I paid privately and was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. I was referred to the NHS waiting list in June 2016 but the waits in the UK for free trans healthcare are getting longer by the minute. It is now July 2019 and I have waited 36 months. I was due my first appointment this side of Christmas, and my letter should have come any day this month, and I did get a letter! To say I was being discharged from the GIC as there was a miscommunication between my GP and the clinic (which I was oblivious to). I'm trying to appeal it but either way there is still an enormous wait for surgery. Me and so many transgender and GNC people struggle with this every single day.  It's not going to be news to anyone that one too many times I've either tried to or thought about taking my life. Twice I've wound up in hospital due to this. Everyday is struggle when you do want to exist. It's a joke that so many transgender humans kill themselves before getting the chance to be themselves. At this point in my life I feel it's absolutely necessary that I get the ball rolling for surgery because my life is yet to begin. As I student, money is not something I can just throw around - if you follow me on social media you'll probably be aware that I am selling everything I can just to scrape by.  I've never been someone who happily accepts help from others, nor to admit I need help - but I don't think I have another choice.  By no means do I expect to reach my goal, but any help towards it would literally be life changing. At the beginning of the year my plans were different and I went to my private clinic to get a letter for top surgery, which expires in January and I can't afford to fork out another £200 to renew it next year. The cost of private surgery is ever-growing and there is just no way that whilst I'm studying (and working part time to make up the rest of my rent each month) that I will be able to save up this much money. Having top surgery would open up a new life for me. I'd stop binding, meaning my back can have a break after years of restricting my movement. I'd be able to be topless in the heat, and even try to learn to swim. I'd be able to start looking at myself in the mirror without feeling repulsed. I would just be able to breathe.  To anyone who donates I would be so grateful. I'm looking at ways I can give back to anyone who helps this massive step in my transition and I'm talking to several of my friends on ways in which I can raise money because this is just really overwhelming and I feel vulnerable putting myself out here like this. If you've read this, thank you. If you can donate, thank you. If you share it, thank you.  Let's just leave it there.
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Organizer

Matthew Trenner 
Organizer
Brighton, South East England, United Kingdom
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