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Making a Family

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Hello world,

By no means is this easy to write - asking for money is always problematic and isn't something that comes easy to both my wife and me. One (if we're lucky, 2!) things are worth swallowing pride for - our future family.

My wife and I are the exceptionally lucky ones who found a soulmate on online dating (big shout out to Hinge!) We met and that was it. Found you. Finally.

The somewhat awkward first date question of "Do you want children?" was never present in our nervous, love-struck 'getting to know you' ramblings. It was a given. Gemma is a children's social worker and I, am a trained secondary school teacher (now specialising in children with special educational needs and trauma) - we instead discussed how passionate we were about keeping children safe and being a micro part of changing and making the world a better place.

By the time lockdown had hit Gemma and I were engaged and living in her high rise 1 bed flat in London. Sounds like a nightmare doesn't it? But it wasn't. Our sofa became a joint space with me teaching online and Gemma managing the front door of referrals to children's social services all the while acknowledging how very fortunate we were to dodge the covid bullet and filled with empathy and community support for all those that needed it around us.

Instead, admittedly we locked down on our relationship and focused on creating a small budget wedding (which, yes, was intimately perfect) and furiously saved to become first-time homeowners. We did the unimaginable and bought our first house by the sea in West Sussex.

The Sussex coast was strategic. We had read that we would be part of the postcode lottery for IVF and with the news of 'equality for same-sex couples' we naively thought that our fertility journey would not be a financial struggle. Why must everything in this world come down to money?!

Perhaps one-day same-sex couples might just get a 'public apology' in the House of Commons for miscommunicating the invisible fine print and realities of 'equality'.

In reality, we can get a shot at IVF on the NHS, just like heterosexual couples but ONLY if we have proved unsuccessful privately, to the tune of at least £40, 000.


However, the same is not the case for same sex couples. They are not entitled to receive IVF treatment for free on the NHS until they have paid significant sums for a number of cycles of Intrauterine Insemination (“IUI”). IUI is the process of directly depositing sperm into a uterus.5 Aug 2022

So here we are, asking for help. I hesitate to use the word 'urgent' as we acknowledge the horrific state of the world financially, socially and culturally. However, the truth of the matter is, scientifically it is urgent.

Gemma and I are both turning 37. We are members of a private clinic to which we have both had 'Fertility MOTs' to the tune of £800. The results strongly suggest starting with Gemma and then onto me but time is running out. Each menstrual cycle decreases our egg counts and thus begins the monthly grief cycle of mourning what could have been.

Our donor sperm comes in 'straws' and the recommended purchase is to order 6. We have ordered 2. One for Gemma and one for me. One shot and one hell of a lot of manifesting. The 2 straws cost £3000 and the bank is now empty.

Of course, the sperm is not living rent-free and we are also paying to keep it safely stored ready to begin the IVF process.

By September we will need to transfer the clinic £8000 to pay for Gemma's treatment and so here we are, hoping that someone out there might be able to help us to start our family.

Thank you for reading this and even if you're not in a financial position to support, please could you share this with anyone/anywhere that may be able to.

Your emotional support means everything to us as we navigate through the world of parenthood.

Thank you and much love,

Anna & Gemma x












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  • Samantha Wilson
    • £30
    • 1 yr
  • NICKY JAMES
    • £20
    • 1 yr
  • Caroline Warriner
    • £50
    • 1 yr
  • Anonymous
    • £5,900
    • 1 yr
  • Michelle Saas
    • £100
    • 1 yr
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Anna French
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