Hi, my name is Matt but this is a story about my son. We'll call him MJB. He's 8. MJB struggles with suicidal thoughts and self harming behaviour. Since he was little MJB has had trouble regulating his emotions. When he gets upset, he gets very upset. 18 months ago (at age 6) MJB spent 10 days at the Children's Hospital Psychiatric ward. His diagnosis is Adjustment Disorder. In a nutshell, he's anxious, nervous and lacks basic self confidence and self esteem.

What does that mean for our family? Well, every day MJB has about 3 one hour long episodes. He gets very upset to the point of punching himself, slamming the door on his head, banging his head on the ground and after all of this, he starts insulting himself saying "I'm so stupid!" and "I want to die," over and over again. Every day. It's really hurting him physically and emotionally. Children shouldn't hate themselves. but MJB really does.

I often wake up to the sound of him screaming. Many many nights I collapse in the hallway, outside his bedroom after enduring hours of hits, shouts, kicks and head butt. MJB has given me a concussion in the past and in this latest moth of struggle, he's begun hitting his brother. I'm scared about his safety and the safety of everyone in the family.

We are well versed in the mental health resources in Calgary. We've taken MJB to the Children's many times after suicidal threats and self harm sessions. We spent a year of weekly therapy at the Calgary Family Therapy Center. We are regular visitors to the Summit emergency mental health drop in centre. We've participated in clinics and sessions with Access Mental Health and Families Matter.

But MJB keeps getting worse. Angrier. More violent. He needs real and immediate help.

That brings us to this fund raiser.

MJB needs ongoing mental health supports. He needs a team of medical professionals that include Counselling, Psychiatry and Psychological support. Soon he will begin needing medication.

Our family of 5 is poor. We eat at the food bank. We wear used clothes. We're both currently unemployed after our family business hit a big pothole. I have a job interview tomorrow and I will get back to work as soon as I can, but we just can't afford the $200 / hour sessions that MJB needs. We've used every resource in the public system for years now, but he has never had continuity of care.

Our goal here is to raise enough to give MJB one 1 hour counselling session per week for the next year. We are also adding $1000 to buy him and me an annual pass to our local Rec Centre. MJB is a great swimmer and swimming helps him regulate his emotions.

This is a life long journey. But we know that MJB's childhood years are so important to the way he grows up and becomes an adult. We need to support him now.

Please don't hesitate to ask questions. I'll maintain MJB's privacy, but I'll also answer any questions you have. In the past few years we have learned quite a bit about the way the kids mental health system in Calgary works. If you have a kid and you are curious about something, please ask.

Thank you very much.

Matt, MJB and family