Hello! Thanks for stopping by this page.

My name is Miles, I'm a 20 year old trans man (currently been out for 5 years, and on Testosterone for almost 2 exactly!). As the next step in my transition, I have decided to pursue private options for gender reassignment surgery to help alleviate my dysphoria without having to wait indefinitely to be seen by an NHS clinic under the current waiting lists despite having waited a few years already.

For anyone not bothered by the long sappy stories - I'll put the facts upfront. The deposit fee is £500, some of which I'm in the fortunate position to cover myself. This allows me to book a surgery date, something I'm hoping to do sooner than I'd be able to achieve it on my own so I can pick a date outside of university term dates (as I'm on a practical course and taking time out for recovery would be detrimental), and so I can work full time over summer to pay off the full costs of surgery over a payment plan, rather than my seasonal job ending and not having a way to cover the costs. As I mentioned my job only runs over summer, so all my current spare income is going towards essential costs at university on a foundation degree, my testosterone prescription and auditions for 3 year degrees starting in September.

For anyone who is more interested in a sob story, you can have a little. As a treat.

Most people reading this will be those who know me, and therefore know that I'm often not upfront about feelings and the like. What they will know by now, however, is that transitioning has brought new life into me that I didn't know was there, and I can imagine the future as much happier coming out the other side of the hardest parts of it. This surgery is the next step for me because even since I was too young to even understand it, I knew I wanted a flat/masculine chest, and since I came out the most important thing to me was creating that appearance even when it wasn't easy. Going anywhere without making an effort to hide it was out of the question, and I tried everything I could to get my own binder on two separate occasions, until that became unusable without causing pain so switched to using KT tape, a favourable method but still troublesome, stressful on many occasions and working out expensive over time. I find it still weighs on my mind throughout daily life, and especially when dancing and moving whether now as part of pre-professional training or even when it was just a hobby. I've begun to envy the connection people I know have to their bodies, the ease people have with acknowledging their existence and the lack of resistance to allowing themselves to be perceived as they are. In an ideal world - I want to go home for summer and swim in the sea again, go to class without worrying about a wrong movement or stretch humiliating me, go out without bringing something to cover up with 'just in case', and not have to spend my money and time on things others don't have to.

Ultimately, I know this will benefit me on a day-to-day basis. I know it's the step I've been too scared to take but am leaping forward into. I know I can't keep waiting in hopes the NHS will suddenly help me. I know I can't get to where I want to be in life without being brave enough to take this jump first.

I hope what I've set is an achievable goal, and that anything I've said here has resonated with anyone.