new home, new beginnings

dear Friends, I am preparing for take off, to a new life and new home here in the Springs, and i have decided to ask for a little help from my community. Asking for help is really hard, im sure most of you can relate. Normally around my birthday i would raise money on social media for a non profit or cause that i feel passionate about, and that always makes me feel good, as well as boosts my ego a bit, look at me im a good person... But at this time in my life im actually working on being more selfish and that feels pretty uncomfortable, asking for help right now is me saying "im going after what i want, i believe i can do it, but to get started i think i need support", and my ego cringes at not being able to do it alone. So im humbled.

Those of you who know me well know ive been living with and taking care of my grandmother for the past two years, and its been hard. Not my first rodeo, my dad and I took care of her as a team many years ago, it was hard then too. This time its just been me and her. I first experienced burn out in February of last year just as Covid and the related mandates were about to explode. I desperately wanted help then but I couldnt work for a few months, had nowhere else to go, and had to hunker down and make the best of things. And I did! I have a lot of gratitude for how this situation has made me grow. Ive developed more resilience and patience then i could ever have imagined. I stopped drinking and smoking weed over two years ago just before moving in to help my grandmother. I still have a hard time believing its been that long. Im proud of the fact that even when things got really hard, even when i felt like i was going completely f****** insane, even when i felt more lonely than ever and couldnt see how id ever find my way out, even when faced with heart wrenching disappointments, I still managed to not use substance to check out. I did use Netflix and ice cream to check out countless times, but ill take it, im human. Caregiving is really natural for some of us, it is for me, i want to take care of others, am good at anticipating needs, noticing patterns of behavior, im very sensitive to others...these are good qualities, but can become toxic pretty quick. I know for myself ive become so enmeshed in my grandmothers life, attitudes, unhealed wounds, and psychology that ive kind of lost myself. Boundaries, i have lot of work to do. So its time to do the work. Ive set up help for her through medicaid, ive pursued this new home i thought might be totally out of reach for me but apparently is not, i have doors opening to me for new work opportunities. Its been hard for me to start to retrain my mental narrative, to believe that im worthy of being successful, worthy of earning more money, worthy of doing work that i love, worthy of love, worthy of a happy home, worthy of everything being alright and taking care of myself. This training and reframing is a major work in progress but im doing it. Finally.

Speaking of training and work :) In November i will graduate from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition Health Coach Training Program and will be an internationally certified healch coach. Ive been in this program since last November, its been a great experience, ive grown a lot, it has also been hard to focus in the home environment ive been in and tired from work and my grandmas care. Im excited to be free to focus a lot more on this new chapter of my life that is sprouting. To be a successful and effective health coach you first have to coach yourself! Cant get around it. All the excuses all the hang ups all the old limiting beliefs all the destructive habits...I have to show up completely for and in my own life before i can really be there for others. So this move feels like a crucial step that i must take in order to continue forward in this new direction ive chosen. Most people assume im trained to simply guide people in the area of nutrition, but its so much more than that. Its lifestyle medicine. Its whole body whole life wellnes, that is the goal. And each individual is so unique, one size does not fit all. We are trained to be expert listeners and high mileage question askers, the goal is to help people discover their own way, their own voice, and trust in their capabilities to create the life and health that they desire, that way when they move on they dont feel dependent on their health coach, they feel empowered to show up bravely in their own life. It is up to each of us to discover our niche, who we feel called to serve, often having to do with our own life experiences and lessons we've learned. Im not quite sure yet what that means for me. I am really passionate about helping people become informed consumers and use there money in a more empowered and meaningful way. I want to help people educate themselves on environmental toxins that they may be exposed to unknowingly and how to make simple yet meaningful changes to reduce toxic exposure. I want to help people reduce their stress and take their power back by taking control of what they feed their minds and hearts and bodies. In this crazy world we're living in its all about getting back to basics. Nature, relationships, whole foods, gratitude, nurturing a healthy immune system (now more than ever), simplification. HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Ive considered working with survivors of abuse. Ive considered providing healthy cooking on a budget workshops to non profits in the area that serve at risk or homeless youth. Ive considered working for wealthy people so that i can make enough money to work with low income communities. I trust that as time goes by it will become clearer to me where im being called to serve.

In the meantime I simply need a healthy happy home. This is a lot to share but i thought it a good idea to provide a picture of where Ive been, where im at and where im going so that any of you who feel called to contribute financially to my new beginnings understand what youre supporting and why. There are things i need to purchase for my life in this house and i dont want to start out feeling too stressed about this huge change.

This new place is pretty wonderful, and scary, it will be the most expensive place ive ever rented, so its a big push to grow. It is a small house, next to a creek, pet friendly, quiet, with a private covered outdoor area separate from the house facing the creek. I cant wait to share pictures. A dear friend of mine just moved out, and i feel her enthusiasm and encouragement and positive recommendation to the property manager played a significant part. Im excited and really freaked out lol! Ive been living small for a long time. So if you feel called to contribute financially, any amount is so appreciated, beyond words, and if you cant contribute in that way, then a private message of encouragement to me would mean just as much, just you taking the time to read all of this means the world to me. Thank you!