Nursing home fees and household bills

My name is Thomas. I am the care representative for both my aunt and my mother who are in nursing homes.

As their care representative, I am financially responsible for ensuring their nursing home fees are paid. Their pensions don’t fully cover the cost so I have to try and cover the remainder myself.

Last summer, I had to take out a €24,000 loan to pay off the arrears on my aunt’s fees. Her account is now back to being €5,000 in arrears. Not all of her medications are covered by her medical card so I have to pay for some of her medications myself.

With these financial responsibilities and my normal household bills, I am drowning in debt. My heating bill is €1,200 in arrears, my phone and broadband is €250 in arrears, my mortgage is €600 in arrears. And they’re only getting worse.

The mortgage company and the phone and broadband provider want their arrears cleared by Thursday 10th April. The heating bill has to be cleared by April 30th.

Money is so tight, there have been evenings my “dinner” has consisted of a €3 packet of biscuits/cookies. There was one day, I didn’t have any dinner because I couldn’t even afford the €3 for the biscuits. In the last year I have lost almost 7kg (15lb) because I am not eating properly.

I’m on medication for PTSD. I haven’t had my meds in a week because I can’t afford them. In March I cut my meds back from 30mg per day to 20mg per day just to stretch out how long the month’s supply would last. I didn’t have my meds for almost the whole month of November because of not having the money to collect them.

Last week was the first time since before Christmas that I put a bin out for collection. I haven’t been able to afford the fees. I got the arrears down to €10, so they reinstated my bin service. The kitchen is piled high with rubbish. Because I couldn’t afford the bin fees; there’s rotting food on the worktop and in the fridge.

I have an unpaid toll fee (some of our roads are barrier free tolling. They use cameras to record the vehicles using the road). The toll is only €6 (one journey northbound and one southbound at €3 each). But because I didn’t pay it within 24 hours, it went up to €15. By the time I had the €15, it was the last day for paying. Their website was down for maintenance so I couldn’t pay. It’s now gone up to €115. If I don’t pay it by the end of the month it will go up again, this time to €700.

I’m asking for help in finding €50,000 in the long term to clear the loan, clear the arrears on my bills, and have a cushion to cover me for about 12 months.

BUT, I really need to come up with €2,500 in the next week.