It is with absolute humility that I write you. As most of you know, I have long struggled with my mental health. Blessedly, I have come far on that journey and for the most part I lead a healthy “normal” life. Unfortunately things have taken a turn for the worse and I am here to ask for your help. About two months ago I started a job where I was exposed to extremely bright light for six hours a day. It was also around that time that I began to experience very severe insomnia. It took four weeks for me to make the correlation between the two. I was laying awake in the middle of the night about two weeks ago, when I researched light therapy and insomnia. That is when I discovered that light therapy causes mania in people with a history of bipolar. Mind you, light therapy is for a very short amount of time, and here I was being exposed to blinding lights six hours a day.
I was diagnosed bipolar about ten years ago when I was hospitalized for insomnia. At the time the diagnosis didn’t resonate with me, because I didn’t have any of the other classic symptoms of mania. Insomnia runs in my family and I just assumed it was an isolated issue. In hindsight, I can look back and see now that I have been dealing with bipolar the whole time. My symptoms just never became severe enough for me to recognize it… until now.
Two weeks ago I took a leave from work, hoping that if I could just clock a few good nights of sleep I could return to work with special protective clothing and eyewear. Unfortunately this has not been the case. My insomnia has persisted and in a way I’ve gone from bad to worse. Today I am raising the white flag. I can’t do it anymore and I need your help.
I am crowd-sourcing funds to assist me in my recovery. Part of the money will go toward covering my overhead for the month while I recover, and part of it will go toward doctors and therapies.
There is such a stigma around mental illness, and so for this reason, please understand that asking for this kind of help is requiring me to set aside every last ounce of my ego. I am humbled. The very fact of this also breaks my heart a little, because I know that if I had incurred some sort of physical injury at work it would probably be easier to ask for help (speaking for myself regarding working through the shame I feel around it).
I do not however, believe that anything falls outside of the scope of God’s plan, and I trust that so much good is coming from all of this. I believe that knowledge is power, and that finally understanding the truth about my mental health will catapult me into deeper level of healing than I have experienced before. I also believe that I am learning to ask for (and RECEIVE) help when I truly need it.
If you are not able to make a financial contribution, I welcome any and all forms of help! A phone call, a meal, a card in the mail.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being in my life. I am truly a lucky woman to know each and every one of you. I love you and God bless you!
- GoFundMe Team
- Francis Bucher
- Kristen Collins
- Laura Roberts
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