Jackson's Top Surgery

Hey, I'm Jackson. (Facebook won't let me change my name from Nat!)

I've recently come out to myself, and the world, as a trans guy. 

Since coming out, I've finally started to feel at ease in my own body, and comfortable in my own skin. But there are many challenges that come with being a trans man.

My chest is a huge source of dysphoria for me. So I wear a binder (an undergarment that helps to flatten the chest) everyday. From the day I started wearing it, it simply felt right. Having a vaguely flat chest while wearing a binder gives me gender euphoria. 

Unfortunately, I have a very large chest (it's an H cup in bra sizes). This means that even when I wear a binder, I still can't achieve a flat chest. It's flatter than usual, but still visible. As you can imagine, for someone trying to present as male in the world, this is a huge source of distress.

(In fact, on multiple occasions, strangers who have been unable to work out my gender at a glance, have looked at my chest to decide whether to designate me "male" or "female".)

The size of my chest means the results I can get from binding are limited in success. 

On top of that, binding is very uncomfortable, so it can only be done for a certain number of hours per day / days per week. Binding also has a number of health-risks. See this - https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/7xzpxx/chest-binding-health-project-inside-landmark-overdue-transgender-study

Because my chest dysphoria is so bad, I'm desperate to have top surgery as soon as possible. 

Top surgery is a gender affirming procedure where surgeons create a masculine chest. It involves breast removal and male chest contouring. 

On the NHS, it's at least a two year wait for your *first* appointment with a Gender Identity Clinic. And it takes more than one appointment to start hormone therapy or get top surgery, so it's often 2.5 to 3 years before people even begin to medically transition. Moreover, the NHS prefers that people have top surgery at least 6 months *after* starting hormone therapy (despite surgery results being good whichever way round you do it)...

Basically, if I go with the NHS, I could end up waiting close to 4 years for top surgery.

This is simply too long for me to live with the daily psychological battle of chest dysphoria, as well as the physical pain and discomfort of binding. (Binding for years will also mean risking serious damage to my body).

So if you're able, I'm asking for your help.

If I can raise the money to get the procedure done privately, instead of waiting a torturous 4 years, I could actually have top surgery by this Christmas. 

Any money raised will go towards my initial private appointment with gender psychologist Dr Lorimer (£300), and also towards the cost of the procedure itself (£6500-7000), performed by surgeon Miles Berry (https://www.instagram.com/topsurgerybymiles/ ).

I know that this is a huge, huge sum of money, and I don't at all expect all of it to be raised on this GoFundMe.

Whatever is left over, I'll try to raise personally through fundraising events/activities, and I'll also look into personal loan options too. I appreciate everyone's got their own struggles, and I don't want to take from people who are in more need than I am.

Getting top surgery will be absolutely life-changing. It will lift the distress of chest dysphoria, and help me feel more at home in my own body. It will mean being more likely to be seen as male by members of the public – and therefore much less misgendering from strangers, which I really struggle to cope with. It will mean feeling more safe to use male spaces like men's toilets without fear of being vulnerable to violence or assault.

But most importantly, it'll be a huge step forward on the journey of coming home to myself, after years of living with a gender I never felt comfortable with.


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Nat King 
Thornton Heath, Greater London, United Kingdom
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