Brain Tumor Surgery

For those not into novels, I'll spare you the details from the start. December 2018 I was diagnosed with a very rare disease that is caused by a tumor that sits underneath my brain. It has and will continue to cause a lot of damage & health complications to my body if I leave it untreated, which is why I will be having surgery at Emory very soon to have the tumor removed.  On average those who have my condition & are left untreated only live to the age of 50. This is why this surgery along with all my treatment after is very important for me. But there is hope for me...

For those that would like to know a little more... 
My disease is not only rare.. but very rare.  4 out of every million people develop my condition every year & 60 out of every million people suffer from my disease at any given time. I literally went into shock when I found out I was living with such a rare disease caused by a brain tumor, of all things! I have been suffering from symptoms from this disease for about 8-10 years.. can you believe that?! I had a tumor inside my head for 10 years & was suffering from a rare disease & I had no idea. I mean what are the odds?! (yes I know I just listed them above haha)

I would like to say I'm very very grateful my tumor is non-cancerous. I also am not 100% comfortable with naming my disease yet. It highlights a lot of my insecurities that have developed from it over the years. It has only been 3 months since my diagnosis & I am still coming to terms with everything. 



How does this disease affect me? How does it not! One of the symptoms I first noticed (I didn't know any of these were symptoms at the time) was a change in my physical appearance. I will say I brushed a lot of the following symptoms I'm about to list under the rug & blamed it all on myself & weight gain. I wish I was kinder to myself & took an initiative to go to the doctor sooner. It would have spared me from a lot of permanent damage. Anyway on to the symptoms! My physical appearance: 

-Gaining A LOT of weight in a short amount of time 
-Facial features changing so much I was unrecognizable to myself 
-Facial swelling
-My bottom teeth started spacing out 
-Voice started changing

& other physical changes I'm too insecure to tell you all about. This has caused me a lot of mental anguish. I started to think I was going crazy because I looked like a different person & felt like one physically from the crazy various amounts of health problems I was going through. Again, I blamed it all on weight gain & myself when all these years it was from my nugget (I gave my tumor a nickname to bring some light onto this horrible disease) I started distancing myself from everyone because I was so insecure. I wouldn't even go to Walmart! I still dread going out in public. I was literally living in a body that wasn't mine with a face that wasn't mine & I had no idea why, so I blamed myself over & over again. I suffered in silence for so many years. I turned into a shell of person that would hide at home & felt too unworthy of anyone's time.  

More serious symptoms...

-causes anxiety & depression 
-carpal tunnel/arthritis/basically any degenerative joint or bone disease you can think of. (my hands hurt as I type this)
-tissue swelling... lots of it. 
-fatigue/muscle weakness
-sleep apnea
-high blood pressure
-diabetes 
-enlarges my internal organs (which could cause me to go into heart failure among many other things that would mess up your organs due to becoming enlarged) 
-cardiovascular disease
-I am at a higher risk for breast cancer/colon cancer/cancerous polyps (little growths inside your body)
-impaired vision (I have double vision now)
-headaches
-spinal cord compression
-Goiter
-The list really goes on... & on.... sadly.. 

It basically fucks you up inside & out. 

Treatment - Unfortunately, there is no cure for my disease and surgery is only the beginning of my medical journey with fighting this, but that's where my surgery comes into play! The main reason for the surgery is to slow down this disease & hopefully go into remission after by removing the tumor. I have heard that remission can sometimes last as long as 5 years or so, & I have high hopes this will be the case for me! Lifelong monitoring & fixing whatever permanent damage has been done over the years will be what I have ahead of me for now. 

My surgery will be done at Emory & as most of you know it is one of the top hospitals for most everything & especially for this specific type of tumor removal surgery I'm having. I am in very good hands. I am also very anxious!! Blame my newly given anxiety from my nugget for most of those nerves! But I am beyond excited to regain my health, mind, & body back!! I haven't felt like myself in so long & I'm ready to stop letting this disease take over my life. 

This also comes with a lot of financial responsibility. My diagnosis alone for all the visits & tests came up to over $1,000 The remainder is my surgery estimate ($3,600~), which is just that. Only an estimate. Surgeries are obliviously unpredictable & we can only hope nothing goes wrong or changes during/after surgery. Which is why it may be possible that the goal amount may change within the next weeks.
I will also have to recover for 4-6 weeks which means I am not able to bend down, pick up anything heavy, drive, or do anything too excessive that would get my heart rate going. That also means I can't work for that amount of time. Which is leaving me way in over my head with being able to afford all these medical bills on top of my own regular bills & you know little things like food & such (insert laughing emoji). This is where this gofundme comes in.

I am more than grateful for those of you who can give, but please only give if you are able to!!! I don't want to take away anything from those that that need it more than me & regardless I know things will work out (:

If you are able to give... I cannot thank you enough!!! I know it's difficult to understand this & I'm not sure anyone knows all the pain this disease has brought me for the last decade.. but this surgery really means everything to me. It literally means a new life for me again. A happy, healthy, & long life. I can't wait to get started on my journey & thank you for giving me a chance to start this journey! I'm very hopeful for my future no w that I finally have an answer for all the strange things that were happening to my body for all these years.
If you're not able to give I would appreciate sharing my gofundme, positive thoughts, prayers & light! Thank you for making it this far reading & your kindness<3 

I welcome any questions, as this can be scary so please ask away!