Robbie Spokes - Hope and Healing

Hello friends,
I'm Stephanie, but am better known to my pals as Robbie Spokes or affectionately "R Spokes". A lifelong bike rider, you will often see me commuting around town or shredding the local trails on my mountain bike.

Riding bikes has always been my passion. I started racing BMX when I was eight years old, and the rest was history - I was hooked. I got a mountain bike at age 12, and now nearly three decades and thousands of miles later, I'm still out there spinning the cranks on a daily basis. Indeed I have even made bicycles my career. I'm a former social worker who took my desire to help people into the bike shop setting. Since 2013 I have worked at Criterium Bicycles, fixing ailing bikes and helping people get stoked on riding.

I am also very active in my Colorado Springs community, serving on the Board of Directors of Kids on Bikes, a local non-profit whose mission is to give every child the opportunity to experience the joy of riding, regardless of income level. I sit on my city's Active Transportation Advisory Committee, which advocates for walkable and bikeable infrastructure. I also am a longtime volunteer ride leader for the Women's Mountain Bike Association of Colorado Springs. I was a QBP Women's mechanic scholarship recipient in 2016 and became a certified bike mechanic through United Bicycle Institute in Ashland, Oregon. For five years I also worked alongside my longtime pal Alison Dunlap teaching skills and inspiring confidence in beginner mountain bike riders through our skills clinics. This past May, I was pleasantly surprised and supremely honored to receive the Le Patron award by my Colorado Springs peers, for my contributions to the community.

All of that being said, I also carry with me a parallel story. I have also struggled with major depression and other mental health challenges my entire life. These struggles have been as constant of a presence as bicycling. I have transcended every level of care and have tried countless treatments over the course of my life. But after many years, I still have not landed upon an effective or lasting plan for recovery. I live a healthy life, exercise, eat organic and take good care of myself. Yet depression still places a tremendous burden on my daily life and hopes for the future.

This year has been particularly difficult as life circumstances have left me with some cumulative losses, which have been hard to weather. Injury had impacted my ability to mountain bike. And finances continue to create additional stress.

The cost of treatment presents a challenge. I work in a bike shop, albeit doing what I enjoy, but do not make much money. I am hoping to try a new therapy-based, non-medicinal treatment that offers promise for long-term depression and anxiety, and has been shown effective in evidence-based studies to help people with my similar symptoms and history. However, my cost per week, not covered by insurance, is $80-$100. I am asking for help in defraying the costs of this treatment, and as such, have set up this page.

I have wonderful friends and family who have always been supportive in other ways, and I am reaching out in hopes that with help, I can afford this treatment and can see its results. I have been fortunate in my life - to have the ability to ride bikes, climb into the mountains and breathe the fresh air of this Colorado that I have made my home. I have the opportunity to work in a field, doing what I love. It warms my heart to be part of this community.

I hope to find some relief from my depression and despair, not only for myself, but ultimately so that I can continue to help others.

If I am in a better place, I can continue my work to make the world a better place.
All love, R Spokes