Destruction Of A Woman: How To Silence A Rape Victim #MeToo

What does it take to share the most private moments of your life with the world?

It takes courage.

My girlfriend Sheena, has been fighting a battle I have never seen from the outside before. Watching someone who suffers from mental health issues and fight the battles she has from the front lines has changed everything I thought I knew. This isn't delusions. This isn't depression. This is different. This is emotional catastrophe. It isn't even invisible anymore. I can see changes in her facial expressions, her body language, even the way she speaks. When it hits her. It's like she's in a hurricane holding on for dear life, and even though I'm right beside her, she is all alone in this battle. I've never seen anyone fight so hard.

She has mental health issues brought on by childhood trauma, and she is fighting like a Pitbull to take her life back right now. I have been riding shotgun through her battle for the last 4 years and I'm going to tell you, what I've seen is nothing short of horrific. We are just 7 days as of today (June 1st) from being homeless with just over a $100 in the bank and I still can't believe this is happening. We didn't end up here because of laziness or lack of effort. We came here due to circumstances that left us no choice but to flee Alberta to find safety. That paired with my own family tragedies just months ago brought us to Vancouver amidst a housing crisis. We have sold everything we have to get away to be safe and due to this housing crisis and astronomical food prices we have used up all of our resources in a matter of months. We have been tirelessly looking for employment as we are two highly employable human beings that would PREFER to earn our own place in this world but with the current state of our country, even moving with $25,000 it couldn't be done. So we are reaching out for help for our survival, for our right to be free, for our rights to live in peace, and to keep fighting for justice Sheena deserves. This fight is for all women.

Also, maybe this is fitting...You see, Sheena is the great, great niece of Viscountess Astor, The first woman seated as a Member of British Parliament.

I got the idea for a fundraiser as I listened to Sheena doing interviews with some of the largest news outlets all across America as this story goes way deeper than I ever imagined. Once I had started to hear the details of this story I realized her fight is too important to fail. It began decades ago with the double murder of her Grandparents in Virginia in 1985. This case was well documented in a recent Netflix Documentary: Till Murder Do Us Part: Soering Vs. Haysom. DNA testing has revealed that the man convicted of the crime is not a match for the unknown blood at the scene. Now the memories of an abused little girl are becoming key to details that once made no sense. Her memories are painting a new picture that is starting to answer decades old questions capturing the attention of dedicated reporters across the United States that have never stopped fighting for the truth in this case, and now fight to get this case reopened. That case, and another case against her abusers and her fight for justice have all now begun to collide.

My girlfriend was abused by her father and uncle as a little girl, and as per usual, many of her family members knew and did nothing. Just like many other stories we have heard from around the world. This behavior from men needs to be destroyed one case at a time. This is what makes her current fight so important,and it's time men start fighting with them. I strongly believe this will be one of the first statements from a male witness to ever be released that has seen the lengths abusers will go to cover up their crimes and discredit the victims. In an effort to control her, discredit her, destroy her financially and to attempt to literally drive her crazy. Her Mother and Father have teamed up with her ex husband and wife to harass her to a level I'm literally stunned these acts can even fall through the cracks of the laws we hold so dear. As a man I am absolutely disgusted at how men behave and all I can muster is pure hate at what we have become. If you are wondering what makes me so different, I can explain that in one sentence. I was raised by an especially brilliant woman who experienced horrific physical abuse at the hand of a man personally. In sharing her experiences of abuse with me she has made me the man I am today. It's just that simple. But this story isn't about me. It is about the struggle of one woman fighting with all her might to get the justice owed to her. Nothing but a worthless group of psychopaths led by a pedophile father and an obsessed ex husband that spend every ounce of free time bullying a defenseless mentally ill single mother. This is the kind of men, women everywhere are dealing with, and I will not be silent one second longer.

So how do I summarize what I have seen the past 4 years? I met Sheena at the lowest I've ever been. She came and picked me up because I didn't have a car, and I was living in a 10'x7' room in a house converted into a recording studio. Sounds like the man of every girl's dreams right? Well just 2 years before then, I was living in a Penthouse DT Calgary playing music for a living with two of my best friends. We played hundreds of shows, wrote and recorded countless songs just for the sheer joy of creating things and living the dream of being a true original artist. Music was my first true love. It was like being struck by lightning. My second love and I moved to Calgary in 2000. We moved to Calgary to be close to my Father and make music with my best friend, like I had always dreamed. I spent $250k I earned bartending over 4 or 5 years and I built my first recording studio. Finally I was beginning to live my dream, as if I owned my own private rocket ship that would take me anywhere I could imagine. I was so young and naive, I had no idea what was coming for me. You see, what I didn't know was that in a little over 5 years everyone in this story would be dead, and all my earthly belongings including my recording studio would be stolen by my own brother. Everything was gone. Even my dream. That was the hardest time in my life. I was all alone and fell into a dark place that would last years. Something just cracked inside me, and no matter how hard I fought, the person I was trying to be was never coming back. This would be the first time I was at the foot of defeat, and I did whatever I could to buy time until I was strong again. Eventually the strength to fight came back and all I could hear were these words ringing through my head. So I had them tattooed over my heart, and I kept fighting. A few years later I found music again and it saved me. Or I used it to save myself I guess. Music has been the fire inside me since I fell in love with it at the age of 5. I began singing at age 8, began writing songs at 12, taught myself guitar by ear at 15, was in my first professional band 9 months later still 15 years old, began learning piano, drums and bass at age 18 by ear and at age 19 I began learning Music Production and Audio Engineering on Vancouver Island with a Producer from Los Angeles who had worked with some of the biggest artists in history. I played thousands of shows throughout my life and met over a million people. So what does that have to do with what I have seen the past 4 years? Well, I used to walk down the street listening to the most beautiful music never heard by another soul on earth, because it was all in my head. I loved it so much I would have to wear sunglasses to hide my tears of happiness.

Now all I hear is silence....That is what the past 4 years has taken from me. My fire.

I met my Sheena on Bumble. She came and picked me up and started driving. She was getting lost so I offered to drive out to a small town outside Calgary. We arrived at this massive million dollar 4000 square foot house on a hilltop like it was placed by the gods hahahaha. This house was filled with love. Nick Knacks in every space possible, the most expensive kids toys and video games any kid could ever dream of. I mean it was like Toys R Us opened a private store in a mansion on a hill. Cupboards and fridge full of food, Three living rooms, a walk out basement designed for her oldest daughter to have her own space, 4 bedrooms and a private office with French doors and a master bedroom that was big enough to host a promotion party for the Wrexham Red Dragons. a 150'x100' yard with a $30k playhouse for her kids. She had $250k in cash, stocks and bonds, $50k line of credit and max limit credit cards. She had a brand new SUV, beautiful clothes, jewelry and every brand of bags and shoes you could imagine. Two amazing children and an incredible job selling Cloud Solutions for an American publicly traded company making $375k per year. All as a single mother. She put herself through school and got her diploma at Mount Royal University and then got her degree at the University Of Lethbridge. If that doesn't impress you, it may be time to start lowering your standards a bit. I was like "what the F is she doing talking to me?" Hahahaha A few days later her sister accused me of only being with her for her money. I said "Nah I don't care about that stuff. I'm with her for her heart and her super hot body and I'm sticking around to see what she is willing to do with both of them." Hahahahaha She didn't find that funny for some reason lol I don't know why...

Two weeks later I began watching her lose everything. Slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster until it was all gone. Even ending up in debt $115k.

So what have I seen these past 4 years?

I've seen a mentally ill woman bullied to the point of emotional collapse. I've seen her filmed by her ex husband and his wife while she watched her 12 year old daughter move out never to hear from her again. Like she was the punchline of some sick joke, I've seen her moments after she was fired because her father called her boss and said she was on heroin. (she's never even seen heroin) I've seen her humiliated when they called child protective services on her. (they found nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing) I've seen her harassed until she had to flee her own home. Twice. (she was granted a restraining order) I've seen her wrongfully arrested and charged with assault when the ex's wife said she was assaulted by her (she didn't touch her, I was watching from the window) I've seen the father that abused her prod me for information to use against her. I've seen her fall apart after her second child moved out. I've seen her never receive a single phone call from her mother that knew about all of it and did nothing. I've seen her have birthdays and Christmas and Mothers Day with no calls from her kids or family. I've seen and helped her sell everything she owned, from furniture to family heirlooms that have been in her family for over a hundred years so we could escape and feel safe. I've seen her beg for money from friends she helped when they were down. that didn't even answer her pleas for help. I've seen her apply for unemployment for the first time in her life, I've seen her scrape every nickel we could get, even check the couch cushions so we could renovate her house so we could sell it because she was harassed from her home. again. I've seen her live off of $400 for 2 months. I've seen her hungry when we had no food or money to buy something to eat. I've seen her ex-husband harass her for money as she was crying because she was just denied welfare because she still owned her home. I've seen her sell the house she designed from the ground up so we wouldn't starve. I've seen her embarrassed, ashamed, desperate, hungry, scared, used, and made out to be the worst human on earth. I've seen her apply for welfare. Twice! The second time was yesterday. I've seen her get harassing cryptic creepy emails from the ex's wife with information only Sheena and I knew. I've seen her ex's wife harass her for money when we had 2 dollars in the bank, while they make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I've seen her fight for her life with every fiber of her being. I've seen her skin fall off her face from stress. I've seen her go to over a hundred doctors appointments fighting to regain her mental health so she could regain her career. Most of all, I've seen her fight to put her father and Uncle in prison to keep them away from her kids until we had no money left and are on the brink of homelessness. Kids that could now care less if she lives or dies. All while she fights to save them from the evil her father did to her as a child. Evil which her ex husband and wife allow her children full access to. Finally, worst of all, I've watched her cry, beg and pray for help that would never come.

What I saw, was her destruction. Complete, and utter destruction.

In other words, I've seen the absolute worst in humanity. So much it has altered my personality. I have withdrawn myself from the lives of my friends and family, simply because the charismatic, self assured man they once knew is long gone. No matter where I look, he is just gone. Like he never existed. To be honest, most days I just reflect on my life and try to remember all the good moments I had, and hope it will all be over soon. Other days I just feel worthless. Like the world no longer has a place for me. I fall asleep scared because I don't know what is going to happen to us. Will we be ok? Will we have enough food? Will we be homeless? Then I have the worst nightmares conceivable by man and it takes me an hour of sitting on the edge of the bed to get the will to stand up. Then I go outside and walk the empty streets at 5am as the world sleeps. Then I get pissed off. Put on a fight song and try to find the inspiration to fight another day. Until out of the darkness comes the breaking sun and those words start ringing in my head again. The words that have followed me to the steps of defeat before. The words that bring me back into the fight. The words that inspire me to pick up the broken pieces and create something new with them. So that's what I'm doing right now. They have been ringing in my head since I started writing this plea for help days ago. The experience writing this has been harder on my soul than I ever imagined. I've never really had anyone I could ever ask for help before. It simply wasn't an option. So writing this letter is the only option we have. Maybe this will inspire many people to help. Maybe this will inspire others to tell their story. Maybe this will inspire just one person to keep on fighting. Maybe this will inspire men to fight harder for women. Maybe this will inspire women to fight for men. Men like me, who have fought for women until they had nothing left to give. Maybe you're asking why didn't I leave two weeks in when it all started to unravel? Or why didn't I just give up through this whole 4 year battle? The truth is, we have had our fair share of problems too. We have fought with each other. We have broken up a few times. We have not spoken to each other for weeks. We have hated each other even while we loved each other. Even now I do not know how this story will end. As human beings we have always ignored red flags and most people haven't figured out why. It's simple. We ignore red flags because we need to have hope there is still good in people! We are all just fighting our way through this world hunting for fleeting brief moments to shine in the sun. One moment to another. Some fights will last years, others will last minutes, and we will fight to the death for these moments as long as we are surrounded by love. We are all lonely, and all life is, is fighting not to be. That's all life is. All relationships are, is being there when they need you the most. That's it. So find what you love and let it kill you. Relationships are not 50/50 like in the movies. Sometimes he is going to be at his worst like I was, and he is going to need you, and it might be 70/30. Other times she is going to need you to pick her up and carry her 100% of the time, for years. In those tough times when all is hopeless and you're laying on the field of battle, defeated. Maybe you will hear a voice whisper the same words I heard ringing in my head all those years ago. Words I have tattooed on my chest right now. It will say.... "Rise & Rise Again Until Lambs Become Lions".

CG Alexander.

*This fundraiser is to raise funds for our day to day survival as well as any upcoming legal fees foreseen or unforeseen. We have used up every last bit of our own resources and will soon not have even have food, shelter, car or even a phone. We are working tirelessly to find new employment to finance this fight ourselves but we have had no luck as of yet in our new city. So if you can afford help us in this hour of need we are forever grateful. If you can't afford it, don't stress we know times are tough. Even sharing this could have an impact. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Love Chris & Sheena.*