Flat White or F# Off! - Coffee without the dreaded queue...

Flat White or F* Off: The Future of Fast Coffee!

The Problem

Ever missed a train because the person ahead of you ordered a half-caff, extra-hot, oat milk caramel macchiato? We have.

In places like railway stations and airports, every second counts. Slow coffee queues mean missed connections, caffeine deprivation and a frustrating start to your day.

The Solution

Introducing Flat White or F* Off—a high-speed coffee brand inspired by marketing legend Rory Sutherland.

You can only order a Flat White or...you get the gist!

No queues. No complexity. Just great flat whites, instantly ready to grab.

Tap. Pay. Get on with your day. Faster than any other coffee service.

No time wasted. Get your caffeine fix without missing a beat.

Don’t miss another train or caffeine hit! Help us prove that the future of coffee is fast, frictionless, and f*ing delicious.

Why This Matters

We believe in timing, efficiency, and simplicity. Instead of complicated menus and long waits, we serve one thing, exceptionally well—so you get in and out faster.

Our entire business model is designed for speed and quality—from streamlined operations to a seamless customer experience.

Why We Need Your Support

We're raising £10,000 to prove this works and scale fast:

✅ Gather data & validate demand (so we know exactly where to launch)

✅ Test operational efficiency (to refine our grab-and-go system)

✅ Strengthen our investor pack (to attract major capital)

This is the first step toward changing the customer experience for busy coffee drinkers.

What’s in It for You?

No gimmicks. No false promises of returns.

Backers get full transparency and exclusive updates on our progress.

While we’re still in the social proof stage, we’re building a community of early adopters who want a faster, better way to get their coffee.

The Bigger Picture

Our ambition is to launch in high-footfall locations across London—railway stations, airports, and other busy city hubs.

We’re not just serving coffee. We’re fixing the broken coffee experience.

The Ask: Be Part of the Revolution

The next time you're stuck behind a slow order, remember—there’s a better way.

☕ Donate now to help make fast coffee a reality.

⏳ Every second counts. Let’s fix coffee queues for good.

Donate now and be part of the revolution!