Now I am on medication that keeps the worst of the symptoms at Bay. I recently got an apartment (I don't use any government programs, I pay for everything myself), I am holding down a job, and my boyfriend and I are slowly working things out. The problem is that I am miserable.
I am barely holding on at work. I am the only female roofer at the company I work for, and have been harassed, discriminated against, and somehow become the punchline of many jokes and lies. I don't know what more I can do, and I struggle each day to make it through without quitting. My medications slow down my thought process and reaction times. While the voices are gone, the trade off is appearing slow and addlebrained.
My dream is to quit my job and go back into business for myself where if I have a bad day, I won't have to worry bout being fired. There was a time I could have just quit my job and done it all on my own. Unfortunately, with my medical bills, rent, and living expenses I can't be as bold as I used to be. Any lapse in my meds could easily land me back into delusions and the homeless shelter I left late last year.
My business model is simple. I make furniture and sell the pieces. I also do home organization (like making garage workshops or closet organization). The main thing that is new to my dream is that as business gets better, I'd like to hire help from the homeless shelter I lived in, especially other people with schizophrenia.
I am the type of person who loves beating the odds.
The people who know and believe in me can't afford to help me out with money, and those who can afford to donate don't know me well enough to believe in me. So, I am appealing to strangers to support me. Honestly, I dont expect this to be successful, but the worst that can happen is for you to say no.
If you can't afford to help me, please forward my info to those you think might understand my plight and can help. If you can donate, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I don't want this disease dictate my life. I want to be the me I was before delusions and voices.
Feel free to ask any questions. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
- Nick Borko
- Maggie Rodarte
- Leah Ratliff
- Aaron And Linda Cadena
- Deepti Pande
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