Save Our Family Home: Urgent Help Needed

I promised myself I would never resort to another GoFundMe after last year’s fiasco with Arya’s hospital fundraiser, but this is a little different. This is my LAST resort because I also promised myself 10 years ago that I would NEVER bring my babies back to a homeless shelter, and that promise trumps all others. Everyone I know has already made their judgments and assumptions about me and my life, so at this point, I have nothing else to lose except everything.

First, I’d like to make it clear that I’m by no means looking for handouts. I’m asking for whatever help is available when I truly need it the most. I don’t even want donations, or likes, or shares, but if anyone is in the financial position to loan money, I’d be willing to offer *almost* any service I can physically provide. I can clean or organize homes and businesses, I can make literally any personalized items desired (cups, shirts, and much more), I can babysit, do landscaping, paint, you name it. If I can do it, I will. I just need someone to invest in me.

I guess y’all probably want to know what could I possibly need money this bad for… well, the truth? 38 years of poor decisions. Every life choice I’ve ever made has led me to this point and while some, like losing my dad, were out of my control, most were decisions I made that directly affected my family and our well-being. I always thought I was doing the right thing, but they say the road to Hell was paved with good intentions, and I understand that phrase now, more than most, I think.

So to finally get to the point, I need to come up with $8000 to pay my mom’s back property taxes by the end of this month or they are putting a lien on her house. This is where my family resides, my disabled mom’s home, where more than a few lost souls and troubled kids have found a safe place to sleep and warm food for their bellies, where I held my dad’s hand as he took his last breath right here in our living room. This was his dream. He made this house a home and he provided a place where our roots could grow deep and strong. I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to save this place for us all.

I received some great news this weekend, my job at EB is still waiting for my return! The best job I’ve ever had with THE BEST team I’ve ever been a part of. My work family was probably the only thing keeping me sane, so I was completely heartbroken when I had to resign due to the overwhelming stresses at home. I had more going on than most people realized because I was really good at putting on a smile and unknowingly driving myself into the ground while trying to save the world on my own. I should have reached out long ago, before any of this mess, but I thought I HAD to do it on my own. I didn’t realize I had such an amazing tribe in my corner. When I felt more alone than I ever have in my life, when I didn’t want to live anymore, that’s when my secret angels appeared. People I hadn’t talked to in years and people I would never have guessed would be there for me. Man, they really showed up. Day after day, without any expectations and without anything in return, they literally saved my life. That’s real. Hard to admit, but I know that if someone could save a life by just saying a few words, maybe there’s someone out there that can save a house with just a few dollars.

Not to drag this story on any longer than it needs to be, but most of you know that Steve and I had been talking about divorce since before Christmas. We were going to hold off until after the holidays to focus on our kids and just enjoy having all of them together under one roof, and then we got comfortable. Brianna’s epilepsy was getting worse and then Arya got sick again… and also started having seizures. My mom’s mental and physical health had drastically declined. The house was falling apart faster than we could come up with the money and time to fix it. We lost one car when we could no longer afford the payments and then the engine was blown in the other car, leaving us completely stranded. My health was also neglected so long I needed 2 more blood transfusions, daily IV iron infusions, B12 injections, and a brand new script for happy pills. That’s when I resigned. I knew money would go from tight to even worse, but we would swing it… or so I thought. Steve was fired from his job a week later. Shortly after that, tensions were high and we went from being too comfortable going through the motions to not being able to stand in a room together. This is probably way more information than necessary, but we mutually agreed it was time for Steve to move out. We also got dragged into a giant mess that didn’t belong to us, but DCF was involved, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Now that almost all the cards are on the table, my mother has given me 3 days to figure it out or she’s calling the realtor to sell the house and I can’t blame her.

This is my final attempt to figure it TF out. I don’t want advice, just encouragement. Tell me I got this, tell me I’m strong, but whatever you do, don’t tell me what I need or where I went wrong. I just don’t have the mental capacity to take even one single more verbal beating. I need my friends to cheer me on and maybe some of my more fortunate friends can make me a business proposition. I don’t want anything for free, but I could sure use a little sunshine in this dark place. I’m fighting my way out now and THE VERY MINUTE I get a vehicle, I’m going back to my very well-paying job. That will definitely help, but not if I don’t have a place to hang my hard hat at night.

God bless you if you actually read all of that, seriously. I got a lot of cleaning up to do, figuratively and literally, but I thank you for your time. To all of those secret angels I was talking about, thank you for so much more; for EVERYTHING. Hopefully, this story has a happy ending because any other option just won’t do. I’m not even speaking that ish into existence. I’m going to be ok. My kids are going to be ok. The house is going to be ok. This is my dream now.