Starting Over
Donation protected
When you’re in your 50’s, your life path should be all mapped out. You learned to ride a bike, survived high school, fell in love, had kids, built a career, and are looking forward to the road ahead being paved with great memories, family, and lots of love. You picture yourself walking hand in hand with your lifelong partner into the sunset.
That was how I saw my future. After showing horses for 47 years of my life, I’ve had my day in the limelight. I fell in love with a man that shared my passion for the industry. For the next 40 years we built Mil-Max Training Center into a recognizable name full of champions and rising stars. I’ve had the privilege to be the mother of a beautiful, intelligent, and talented daughter who has left an indelible mark on AQHA history that will not be surpassed for lifetimes to come. I have called the little burg of West Mansfield my home for the last 18 years, with our little 4 person family, that included grandma. I had dreams of watching my grandkids learning to ride, and watching their mom go through the same growing pains that I did with her. I had all of these little milestones in my head planned out for how I was going to spend the time I have left before me. Well, that all went to hell in a hand basket.
Everything I’ve ever known, ever been, or ever enjoyed has suddenly become a foreign land. Folks I’ve known since I was a teenager, now are going to be added to a list of remember when’s that get longer by the day. For the first time in 47 years I will not have the privilege of calling the Gilligan Building my home for the next 2 weeks. Unbeknownst to me, my onetime barn address has been sealed shut with a big custom BM right on the door. It’s hard to prepare for being so unceremoniously blindsided.
Unless you have lived under a rock for the last couple of months, it’s common gossip that Brent has decided that I have no place in the idealistic future he has set for himself. For the last 40 years we have weathered the storms that come with any marriage of that length of time. But there is nothing that can cut you to the core than to be discarded like an outdated milk carton. At first you’re devastated, then betrayed, followed by anger, and finally disbelief. Bewildered not by who you are being replaced with, but by how little regard shown to those who have been your world until they weren’t necessary. I have every right to be furious. I have every right to take back what is mine. But the decision I have chosen to make is not in my best interest. As a matter of fact, it puts me at a terrible disadvantage. I am undoubtedly a lot of things, but like it or not, I am genuine. If I’m not your cup of tea, or you find me offensive, that’s up to you. But whatever your opinion of me is makes no difference. But know this, you will not disrespect my child. She is my greatest accomplishment. For this reason alone, I have made the decision to close the chapter of my world involving the industry I have grown up in. I’m relinquishing my “Showmanship Queen” title to Ellexxah. Even I am glad I’ve never had to show against her. I’m handing over the business, in total, to her and her father. This way she can continue living in her childhood home, and continue doing the thing she was born to do.
This is what brings me to this humiliating post on a site designed for veterans and cancer victims. I have no idea where else to turn except to the individuals that I’ve called friends for 4 decades. I wasn’t there to watch Ellexxah be Reserve Champion in the Ranch Trail this afternoon because I had to go buy a few things to wear at the 9-5 job I start tomorrow. I guess I should be proud of myself that I found someone to hire a 54 year old with a high school education and no experience. I’ll be working in Columbus, so relocating isn’t going to be easy. I have an application for an apartment that is almost half of my salary, but at least I might not get mugged in the parking lot. My mom will be moving with me, so that’s going to take extra as well. I don’t have one stick of furniture, dishes, linens, anything. Least of all, first and last months rent. I don’t expect to live in the Taj Mahal, but something even close to the new isleway setup that Brent has at the Congress would be more than I could hope for. It makes me physically ill to have to ask for a handout. But, I’ll do whatever is necessary to make sure that my daughter gets to continue to dazzle generations to come with her abilities. I’ve always made the comment about my dry sense of humor saying, “who’s going to make you laugh when I’m not around anymore?” I never had thought about it becoming a reality. So if you are one of those people I’ve made smile, shook your head, made feel important, or threw out random showmanship advice to, have a little care. I’ve been around a long time to leave completely empty handed. To save what pride I have left, I’m going to consider anything sent my way as a tip for years of entertainment. I will miss you all, even the ones I don’t like. Those I’ll miss most of all.
That was how I saw my future. After showing horses for 47 years of my life, I’ve had my day in the limelight. I fell in love with a man that shared my passion for the industry. For the next 40 years we built Mil-Max Training Center into a recognizable name full of champions and rising stars. I’ve had the privilege to be the mother of a beautiful, intelligent, and talented daughter who has left an indelible mark on AQHA history that will not be surpassed for lifetimes to come. I have called the little burg of West Mansfield my home for the last 18 years, with our little 4 person family, that included grandma. I had dreams of watching my grandkids learning to ride, and watching their mom go through the same growing pains that I did with her. I had all of these little milestones in my head planned out for how I was going to spend the time I have left before me. Well, that all went to hell in a hand basket.
Everything I’ve ever known, ever been, or ever enjoyed has suddenly become a foreign land. Folks I’ve known since I was a teenager, now are going to be added to a list of remember when’s that get longer by the day. For the first time in 47 years I will not have the privilege of calling the Gilligan Building my home for the next 2 weeks. Unbeknownst to me, my onetime barn address has been sealed shut with a big custom BM right on the door. It’s hard to prepare for being so unceremoniously blindsided.
Unless you have lived under a rock for the last couple of months, it’s common gossip that Brent has decided that I have no place in the idealistic future he has set for himself. For the last 40 years we have weathered the storms that come with any marriage of that length of time. But there is nothing that can cut you to the core than to be discarded like an outdated milk carton. At first you’re devastated, then betrayed, followed by anger, and finally disbelief. Bewildered not by who you are being replaced with, but by how little regard shown to those who have been your world until they weren’t necessary. I have every right to be furious. I have every right to take back what is mine. But the decision I have chosen to make is not in my best interest. As a matter of fact, it puts me at a terrible disadvantage. I am undoubtedly a lot of things, but like it or not, I am genuine. If I’m not your cup of tea, or you find me offensive, that’s up to you. But whatever your opinion of me is makes no difference. But know this, you will not disrespect my child. She is my greatest accomplishment. For this reason alone, I have made the decision to close the chapter of my world involving the industry I have grown up in. I’m relinquishing my “Showmanship Queen” title to Ellexxah. Even I am glad I’ve never had to show against her. I’m handing over the business, in total, to her and her father. This way she can continue living in her childhood home, and continue doing the thing she was born to do.
This is what brings me to this humiliating post on a site designed for veterans and cancer victims. I have no idea where else to turn except to the individuals that I’ve called friends for 4 decades. I wasn’t there to watch Ellexxah be Reserve Champion in the Ranch Trail this afternoon because I had to go buy a few things to wear at the 9-5 job I start tomorrow. I guess I should be proud of myself that I found someone to hire a 54 year old with a high school education and no experience. I’ll be working in Columbus, so relocating isn’t going to be easy. I have an application for an apartment that is almost half of my salary, but at least I might not get mugged in the parking lot. My mom will be moving with me, so that’s going to take extra as well. I don’t have one stick of furniture, dishes, linens, anything. Least of all, first and last months rent. I don’t expect to live in the Taj Mahal, but something even close to the new isleway setup that Brent has at the Congress would be more than I could hope for. It makes me physically ill to have to ask for a handout. But, I’ll do whatever is necessary to make sure that my daughter gets to continue to dazzle generations to come with her abilities. I’ve always made the comment about my dry sense of humor saying, “who’s going to make you laugh when I’m not around anymore?” I never had thought about it becoming a reality. So if you are one of those people I’ve made smile, shook your head, made feel important, or threw out random showmanship advice to, have a little care. I’ve been around a long time to leave completely empty handed. To save what pride I have left, I’m going to consider anything sent my way as a tip for years of entertainment. I will miss you all, even the ones I don’t like. Those I’ll miss most of all.
Co-organizers (2)
Melissa Maxwell
Organizer
West Mansfield, OH
Rebecca McLoughlin
Co-organizer