I just want to smile again

I just found out I need a new engine and another catalytic convertor in my 1yr old (new to me) car. I still owe $16,000 plus another $2200.00 for the catalytic convertor I just replaced 6 months ago. No there's no warranty and no insurance to cover it. I spoke to a lemon law attorney and was denied. I have a loaner till Monday and have no idea what I'm going to do.

I've only slept six hrs in the past 3 days. I haven't been able to eat much and I'm worried I'm going to have a vertigo episode with all the stress. All I can do is cry and pray.

Really not sure how much more bad news I can handle. In the past 2 years I was assaulted by my ex husband. I was assaulted by a customer at my work giving me ptsd and social anxiety, I was forced by the state to relive the moments and testify in both cases.

I've had Covid 3x, giving me brain fog and I missed a lot of work....

My work closed its doors without notice, causing me to be unemployed 2 months after I got this new-used car....

My toe has been hurting really badly from a surgery gone wrong 7yrs ago....

I have an exposed root and horrible tooth pain....

Migraine day two....

My new-used car catalytic convertor broke just 3 months after I purchased it (it had a recall on the catalytic converter but the Kia manufacturer said my car passed the check done in 2019 so the recall no longer applied to me, cost me $2200.00 to fix)....

Today my new-used car's engine started making knocking sounds, I just got the oil changed on 9/24 and the engine light is on and the oil shows low. My daughter works at a car place and had a coworker with a diagnostic machine who was able to read my code. Looks like there's a rod about to blow into my engine and so it's un drivable. I cannot afford get it fixed as I only have $64.00 to my name and I live paycheck to paycheck.... My credit is fried because it took me three months to get a job after my work closed without notice....

I still have to get to work which is a 35 min commute one way....

I've always worked hard and never taken advantage of the government. I raised 3 kids alone without child support or help from my parents. I try to live my life honest.

I was going to ask for the cost of repairs or the cost of my car but I decided the best, cheapest route for me is to just ditch this vehicle take the hit to my credit and get a whole different used car. I was also advised to do so by the tech as this car is known to have engine failure and putting a new one in may not work long term.

I'm so tired of things going wrong all the time. I've been going one step forward and ten steps back for the past 10yrs. There's really so much more going on that I didn't want to share....

I'M TIRED

I'M BROKE

I'M DISCOURAGED

I'M EMBARRASSED

I'M FIGHTING DEPRESSION

Something's gotta give! I can't even stand to be around me anymore

Prayers are always welcomed.