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Help me get out of my toxic household

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Hi, my name is Amir Velic (preferably Anne) and am fundraising to finally escape my horribly toxic family. I live in Austria (so please excuse my not so perfect English) in very religious and conservative family and I recently turned 18 and am still being treated as a minor in my household.

Originally, I wanted to leave in a year or two but my situation worsened severely with my family constantly wanting me to do stuff I absolutely do not feel comfortable with doing. Examples for these types of things would be cutting my hair even though I am currently happy with my cut. Another one is them wanting to peer pressure me to study religion. I am personally atheist and respect religion but never really saw interest in it. They are also starting to verbally abuse me. Especially my sister has been trying her absolute hardest to "guide me to the right path". My family doesn't allow me to meet with friends without them first knowing who they are. Even talking to my friends online is risky mainly because my sister loves listening into my private conversations without my consent. I don't think I have to explain that I have pretty much zero privacy at home. My sister is so incredibly toxic that she doesn't even like my voice and constantly interrupts my conversations with my friends to tell me to "speak normally". She is 23 and is arguably worse than my parents when it comes to bigotry and manipulation. A big thing that makes staying here impossible for me is that I am queer and genderfluid which my family is strongly against. It's extremely mentally draining to constantly live in a house where I am not allowed to be myself. They would constantly make uncomfortable remarks like "You are a pathetic man" or "Stop acting gay" . I've also been physically abused by them. Their constant torment has taken a ginormous tole on my general motivation and school performance with constant school days that I'd miss because I'd usually have a mental burnout the same day. I unfortunately also have to add that their extremely horrific treatment has given me extremely bad self harm thoughts and bad mood. I have actually hurt myself multiple times over this. My friends are extremely worried about me and I really hate scaring them with my bad thoughts.

Your question is probably "Why don't you just get a job or something?" Main problem is that I am still going to school for 3 years and was EXTREMELY unprepared for this outcome. My bank account currently is around 120€. I found a place which offers asylum for a year and a half for 150€ a month. Sure I could get a summer job or something but it won't be enough to cover the monthly rent. I should also mention that I am an artist doing commissions to earn money but I know that that is not a good thing to rely on. My plan with this money is to get by for a year and then get an internship. Of course I'll still try to finish as many commissions as possible. I might raise the goal but I think 7000€ should be fine for now.

Finally escaping from their constant hate and abuse would return my motivation and will make me feel a lot better about myself. I just want to finally be myself without anyone abusing me. It's been a dream of mine for a while now so please, I need to get out.

Organizer

Amir Velic
Organizer
Ansfelden, O

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