This is hard for me to do. As I put this together, I find all kinds of emotions arise around asking for support and help instead of offering what I can give to you. Fear of judgement, fear of pity, fear of rejection, sooo many fears I can't even begin to get to the bottom of them in this moment. What I know is I teach people to walk towards their fears, bring them into the light, throw a party for them, exagerate whatever outcome you are afraid will happen....still to post this, to ask for help in a monetary manner left me immobilized, crying on the floor yesterday, only got written because of the help of my dear friend. It truly shows me just how many blocks I have around receiving financial abundance in my life, and although I celebrate and revel in ALL the beautiful things I cocreate in my existence, I long to let go of whatever stranglehold this holds for me. So thank you for being part of my practice, for witnessing my first step, an invitation to allow another to give "money" to me, and my surrender to accept whatever it brings up in me, vowing to find the acceptance and love for those hugely scared parts of me. I have spent my entire life adding value to everyone around me, giving more than I would ever "take" I love THAT part of me, why do I shun the receptive allowing another to gift me side? If everyone ONLY gave, who would there be for us to give to? So here it goes....... As many of you know when I left Utah to follow my path, my family disowned me. Over the years, there has been wonderful healing with them, but in that time, I realized that I needed to shift my idea of family. My community has become my family of choice and so I'm looking to you in the same way I might go to my family for help and support.
One of the hardest choices I've ever made was sending my boys to live with my mom for the next year. I am extremely grateful for the miracle and circumstances that came together for this to happen, and for my Mom showing up to support us in the way that she can. Over the past 3 years, despite my best efforts to support myself with my teaching and workshops and Nate's efforts, we simply weren't able to make enough money to pay rent and food. It's been hand to mouth for a long time. Yet, the last years have also been the most joyful in my life. I wouldn't trade a single moment..
I'm committed in the coming year to getting myself in a place where my business of teaching, facilitating and individual sessions can fully support myself and my children. It's moving that way rapidly. It's tender and difficult asking for help, yet I know that my journey down this path will be infinitely easier, more graceful, and more joyful if I don't have to do it all myself.
In taking my business to a more profitable level, I desire to create a stronger infrastructure so that people can more easily understand where, when and what I'm teaching. I need to be able to have modern communication so I can work on the road. And, I want to create a nest egg and savings account, so that at the end of this year, I have a deposit and first month's rent ready to put down so that my boys can come back.
I have so many people I love and my hope is that you'll be willing to support me. If all of my Facebook friends each contributed $1, I'd be financially empowered for all of this. I'm asking people to make whatever contribution feels like a "hell, yes" in your heart and in your budget. As you know, I make it a personal practice to dive into whatever scares me the most and right now, asking for help in this way scares me the most. So I'm putting this up now. I'll likely edit it later as well as adding video and prizes.
Here's a breakdown for the money:
Library of teachings and wisdoms I have collected these past 7 years
Monthly Teleconference's bringing our communities together on the subjects that touch us most
Header's, Fliers, testimonials to really bring THIS work alive
Deposit and first months rent
One of my visions is to offer a big party, the date to be determined, as a thank you to everyone who makes a contribution, however small. If you have a service or gift that's easier to offer than money that you'd like to make available as a "Thank You" gift to those who are able to contribute more, that would be wonderful.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
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