It Takes a Village… But What About Us Who Don’t Have One

My name is Keasha and for as long as I can remember, I’ve been surviving — pushing through, trying to hold everything together, and hoping that someday I would finally reach a moment in life where I could actually breathe. People love to say *“it takes a village,”* but no one talks about what happens when you don’t have one. When everything falls on you to figure out.

Most days, it feels like I’ve been treading water my entire life, getting just enough air to keep going but never enough to truly rest. I’ve rebuilt my life more than once. I’ve weathered storms I never spoke about. I’ve pushed forward through things that should’ve broken me and would've broke most. And a lot of it I went thru alone. That's just how I've always been. Rather go thru hell by myself then give anyone a reason to throw something in my face later down the road or at least that's what I told myself they would go.

This is time is different.

This time I'm gonna need any help i can get.

Not because I’m weak.

Not because I’m unwilling to work for a better life.

But because I don’t want to ever feel like going back to a situation I fought so hard to leave is my only option.

People tell you that leaving won’t be easy, but no one prepares you for how hard it truly is to walk away and leave someone you loved so much at one point, it doesn't matter if they aren't the same person anymore. They don't tell you the amount of strength that you HAVE to find and use to hold your head up and not look back while walking away because if you look back and make eye contact with him you won't be able to leave. People don’t talk about the moments that break your heart — the ones that come *after* the decision is made. 

No one prepares you for the moment that your 2yo is hysterically crying because she wants to “go home" and you have to tell her that we can't go home. Or the moment your 10yo looks at you with anger and confusion because her whole world was flipped upside down and she blames you. There's nothing that can prepare you for the moment you realize your 7yo tries so hard to hide how hurt he is because he doesn’t want too make things harder on you..

People say leaving him wont be easy, but absolutely no one talks about how hard it will be to stay gone after you leave. How you'll want to run back just so you don't feel alone, even though in the end of it all, you never felt more alone than you did when you were with him...

I’ve been away from home for 18 years. I don’t have a village. I don’t really even have a support system. I have one friend, occasionally I talk to my little Sister and I have my kids — and lately it feels like it’s us against the world.

 5 days ago we were home and in the blink of an eye we were sharing one hotel room: two beds, a TV, four people, and zero breathing room. It’s cramped, noisy, uncomfortable, and mentally draining. 

Asking for help is not something I do easily. I’m prideful, stubborn, and I hate feeling like a burden. But I’m choosing to push that aside, because my kids deserve better. They deserve a home where they can laugh, be loud, make messes, and just be kids. They deserve to be happy, to see their mom be happy not always stressed or in tears because of someone else's hurtful words and selfish actions. 

I’m raising funds to give us a chance to move forward without ever having to look back, so I'm able to take a moment to just breathe and figure things out, to help cover basic needs while I get us fully resettled. I don't ever want to feel like the only option I have is to go back somewhere i never thought id be able to leave ...

I have temporary house cost covered for at least the first week, permanent housing is pretty much taken care of as well.My main concerns are being able to cover the cost of food for us, basic essentials like shampoo conditioner diapers wipes personal care items etc. as well as replacing items that we have to walk away from and leave behind. We left with pretty much only what we could carry and walk away from 90% of our belongings. They need winter clothes, my daughter forgot her backpack for school my 2yr had to leave 95% of her toys and none of them grabbed any of they special blankets/stuffed animal/comfort items

If you’re able to help, in any way, it truly means more than I can express.

If you can’t donate, even sharing this helps more than you know.

 thank you.!