Logan's Graduation

First of all, this is extremely hard for me. I'm usually the one helping others and I find it very difficult to ask for help for myself.

Our son, Logan, is graduating from AMDA (American Music and Dramatic Academy) in Los Angeles on February 13th.  We have been planning to go for a long time, but have run into some difficutly.

Many of you know that Jamie was diagnosed with CADASIL three years ago. For those not familiar with the disease, it is a genetic, degenerative, neurological disorder. It causes strokes and dementia. Full blown dementia is predicted within 10 years of onset (not diagnosis - he could have had the disease far longer). So far, Jamie has only had mini strokes (we don't know how many).  He went from full time employement to disabilty within 24 hours. It's been a constant struggle. I went back to school and got my Master's in education and am very lucky to be working as a fifth grade teacher in OPS. The money has been really helpful and we were doing much better than I expected, almost like when Jamie was working.

The dementia, however, is getting worse. I didn't realize just how bad it was getting until Jamie started double paying bills and paying off accounts I had not planned on completely paying. I have been hesitant to remove him from the bank accounts, but I may have no choice.  

Other little things have been cropping up. For example, last Sunday, I took dinner out of the oven and he started to wrap it up to put it away. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was helping me by putting the food away. I had to remind him twice that we hadn't eaten yet. I'm telling you, it's breaking my heart. We've been together since I was 14 and he was 16 (almost 40 years).  I cry when I look at old pictures of us. The change, though seemingly slow, has been dramatic.

When Logan first gave us his graduation date, I began to plan. I had the money planned for the trip, but because of the extra payments, it is now gone. I think I can scrape together enough to go to California, but it is going to be tough. I am feeling very stressed right now.

We had originally planned to fly, but I'm really nervous about taking Jamie on an airplane in his condition (I am a very nervous flyer). I worry about layovers or fast connections. I don't think it's a good idea.

We have decided to take a train. It adds a couple of days to the trip, but once we're on the train, we're pretty well set. It's about half the cost of a plane ticket and could be quite enjoyable. 

I've also found fairly inexpensive hotels in L.A. and Logan thinks we can rent a car for the weekend for a few hundred dollars.  

I don't want to be extravagant on the trip, I just want to make sure we're okay while we're there.  I'm hoping to raise enough to pay for the train tickets and hotel. I think we'll be okay otherwise. We need the money as soon as possible so I can book the tickets and hotel room.

Again, this is very difficult for me, especially when I read about people who have problems so much worse than ours. We are actually very blessed. I do fear, though, that this might be the last big trip we take together. I don't even know how much longer Jamie will be able to stay at home alone when I'm at work.  

I can't tell you how appreciative we would be for any amount. It means the world to us to be able to see Logan graduate.  Actually, just seeing him would be great; it's been almost a year since he was able to come home. I can promise to continue paying it forward. Thank you so very, very much.