While at the Halfmoon on Sunday evening two men followed me to the restroom on the pizza side of the bar that had closed. The two men then forced me inside of the restroom and began to sexually assault me.

I am not going to go into to details because I do not want to relive the nightmare that has been eating at me. The men referring to themselves as brothers kept saying “this is what you want”, “I know your kind like this shit” while one of the guys choked me and another pulled my top down forcefully groping me. I cant even bring myself to say more but I kept asserting for them to stop and saying, NO, while screaming for help and trying to open the bathroom door.

One of the guys followed me to the bar where I was informing the bartender of what happened to me. He came in sat down next to me firmly grabbing and holding my shoulder demanding that I listen to him. Thankfully my friends and the bar staff on duty intervened and banded together to remove the guy who was still trying to “talk” to me calling us transphobic slurs. I’m am really shook up and feel numb. I have been feeling so safe in Hudson that I let my guard down. I didn’t realize that these men had been plotting and trying to get my attention— double teaming a scheme to get me alone.

I am really afraid and haven’t had the emotional bandwidth to speak about what happened to me until today. I am depleted and gutted by this sexual assault on my body and spirit. In that moment I was fighting for my life. This is the same “attraction” to trans women, especially black trans women that gets us killed. These men think because we are trans that no one will care nor miss us and our lives aren’t worth living. These men think their desire in the dark equates to attraction but assault and non consensual advances are never warranted. We are people! We deserve to be safe!

How I will use donations:

1. The majority of funds will go towards finding a queer/woman of color therapist specializing in somatic body and sexual trauma work to start the process of healing in my own body.

2. I will buy a gym membership to exercise for my mental well-being and build my strength while searching for PTSD and self defense classes to feel safer leaving the house as we live in a small community.

3. I will use a portion of the funds to cover the cost of monthly bills and expenses while I seek out resources for trauma informed care, recovery, and healing.

I made this fundraiser a few days ago but the immense amount of shame has stopped me from sharing but today I realized this is not my shame to carry. It is the men that assaulted me. This is their shame and I will no longer allow myself to carry this burden alone.

Thank you for supporting me during this extremely vulnerable time.

Love,

Keioui