I am oh so very tired and there's such a long road ahead of us. My wife of thirteen years, Jeanette Keene-Hrafnsson, and I only found out for certain that she had a cancerous mass on her breast on August 22nd. Before either of us had time to adjust to the thought it, the doctors had a plan to remove it and a additional problem mass on the other breast just two weeks later. Our 10 year old son, Tristan, wanted to know why the doctors couldn't take it out the very next day. I just wanted to know why this was happening to us.
She had her bi-lateral mastectomy, a double amputation in her eyes, just yesterday September 11. As if that date would ever be forgotten. She's in so much pain. Worse than that, I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me that she feels so much less of a woman than before.
What she doesn't know is that I love her more now than ever. I wish I could say that when I held her tight over the past few weeks when she was feeling low, that I did so without showing fear and uncertainty but it would be a lie. I tried hard though. Some things are just stronger than us.
I'm not a religious or spiritual person but I begged strangers, friends and family for thoughts and prayers. I did so knowing how much people do have faith and I needed it from them. I knew they believed it with all of their hearts - although I did not. I do, however, believe in the power of positive thoughts and I know the people I called upon believe in something greater than all of us - something I can't explain or understand. For my family, I have no problem calling upon that faith.
We are extremely lucky to have insurance these days but as I'm finding out, it doesn't go very far. Especially when one of the surgeons is "out-of-network". At this point, we don't even know the extent of the radiation or chemotherapy treatment. We do know that the reconstruction will last 10 months. What we could not foresee is that even with insurance our out of pocket payments to the doctor will be in excess of $20,000. And that's just what we're been told to date. We are doing what we can. We held a benefit garage sale that raised a little over $1,000.00 and that's a great start, and I have been going from business to business to offer my photography services to drum up any additional business I can to cover these pending costs. That's when someone directed me to this site and why I'm here now. Any donation is greatly appreciated by my family and thank you for taking the time to read our story.
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