Domestic Violence.
Murder-Suicide.
To some, it’s just headlines. To others, it’s a reality they never wanted. My name is Tani Spencer and I am the neighbor and friend of the Small family.
On February 4, William Small took the life of his wife Heather and then took his own life. An otherwise normal Saturday morning changed four children’s lives instantly to having make decisions on where to live and learning to live without their mom and dad. Two of the kids found their deceased parents which adds another level of trauma to deal with. Unimaginable trauma has been followed by messy, complicated estate issues. Without a will or life insurance policy, four children have been left to navigate life without income.
It will most likely take a couple of years to get the estate closed out and at the end of it there will be very little left. The cars were all in the parents name and they are losing them. The house has very little equity in it so there will be nothing left for the kids when this all closes out. That day I was standing in the yard with Essence, a 22 year old full-time nursing student, when she became an instant parent to her 20 year old brother and 15 and 11 year old sisters. They are all temporarily living in her 2-bedroom apartment. She immediately stepped up to the task by getting her siblings into counseling, getting them transportation to school, and becoming legal guardian of the girls. After only 15 minutes with Essence, people walk away saying, “She’s amazing. She’s so mature. She’s incredibly responsible.“ She is all of this and so much more. Essence never wants to be viewed as “needy.” Her independent spirit tends to refrain from asking for help, but her new reality is filled with needs and massive responsibility.
While none of us can change the events of that day, we can alleviate one of the greatest stresses these kids are facing now - financial stress. As her friend and neighbor, I would like to provide an update to our community. It is my belief that people are happy to give when they better understand the needs. With permission from the family, we are providing details with the hopes that people can show their love and support in a tangible way.
Three of the kids have celebrated birthdays in the past few months so they are currently 23, 21, 16, and 11.
The oldest two kids do not currently have health insurance (ages 23 and 21).
Essence (23) is in nursing school full-time, and we would love to see her complete her degree on time, but this also means she will not have income from a job for another year. She is also juggling being the administrator of her mom’s estate while being a full time student and guardian.
All the kids are immensely grateful for the meals, gift cards, and previous donations. That helped with all the sudden waves of expenses - tuition, car payments, rent, food, gas, etc.
We would love to see them get a cushion of support to alleviate the financial stress of getting into a new place with more space. Family members have stepped up in a big way to help obtain land and a mobile home. They will desperately need money for car payments, rent, tuition, things for the new home, and normal living expenses. Please understand: they are NOT asking for this. They are doing their best to be independent, but we know first hand that this is not something that would be easy for any of us. This has truly been a case of “put yourself in their shoes” - can you imagine losing parents at their age in a traumatic way and being left to take care of all the typical life expenses.
James 1:27 reminds us that “religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction…” We have such an opportunity before us to show these kids how loved and valued they are. We hope you will consider giving to meet their needs.