I met Jacques last week. I was supposed foster the little precious maniac but I have to commit to the pup. I need him; he needs me. This is somehow the weirdest love story I have ever been in. But here's what's going down.
I'm being shaken down by this scam shelter (In Our Hands Rescue) and I need 650 dollars to officially adopt him. From start to finish, the process has been shady. I should have been more aware of the "rescue" shelter I was going through. But you know, you can't stop love.
So here is where I am asking you, my friends, to lend me your lunch money. Jacques is coming with a few pre-existing conditions that were not revealed to me. Just like his soon to be father, he's already expensive as heck. I'm getting ready for these issues and preparing financially. Let's get the boy through the first hula hoop.
He and I need each other. And I need the 650 dollars to cover this mystery fee and additional (900+) costs for his respiratory situation, neutering, microchip, two teeth extractions. I'm required to pay for the rights to him or I must surrender him back to the shelter. I really just wanna pay these goons and get him to the right veterinarian to perform what he needs done.
Jacques is wonderfully mannered. His calm temperament is a perfect balance to my intense, ridiculous disposition. He is curious and polite and likes to bite my toes and nose. He makes me want to run home as fast as possible because I just want to smell his stomach which smells like flowers and Fritos. I can't stop loving him now. Please pitch in.
Jacques will sign and send out autographs with donations of $30 or more. Depending on donation we'll perform circus acts. Accepting Venmo and donations here. Love You.