From 2011-2018 I was an engaged and active member of the creative community, serving in various roles in the music industry, doing Marketing/promotions, even working retail while freelancing as a production assistant but the past year has been the most difficult one I have ever experienced. In June 2018 I was laid off during a hostile takeover. It was devastating to leave a company that I had grown so much with after starting there as an intern and then later moving up to be an executive assistant and project supervisor. It has taken me this long to finally feel that I’ve hit a wall with my recovery from the fallout of this life changing occurrence. I don’t have the same passion to create that I once had due to the fact that I feel discouraged about contributing to an institution that can possibly disappear in a moments notice through events that are out of my control and I cannot imagine building the same emotional attachment to a company that’s not my own. For the past six months I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy, depression, and hopelessness as a result of watching everything I worked hard on to secure my future be taken away in what felt like an instant.

In order to move forward, I am asking for your help. I have lots of ideas and hope for my own future as a creative, but I’d like a true fresh start. Over the years I have accumulated debt that I would have been able to pay with more stable employment, lately I have been dealing with financial hardship and have been struggling to cover my bills since June.

I have not been unemployed, but working as a freelancer and driving for Uber/Lyft has not provided me enough income to pull myself out of my dire situation and it’s been nearly impossible to save any money. I have been living in my car(while still working as a driver) since January, currently I store my belongings in a storage unit here in Los Angeles.

I have a strained relationship with my immediate family and do not feel comfortable seeking shelter with them, so I have been trying to focus On taking care of myself since January but it has not been easy to provide for myself, though I have been surviving.

Today, I received the straw that broke my proverbial camel’s back, as my Lyft account was deactivated due to another vague report against my account. I have gone through similar trouble with Uber, and although I have been sober since February 2018 I have now been deactivated from both apps due to alleged intoxication. There will be no true investigation into my case and since each app has a zero tolerance policy I will likely be unable to get reinstated. I am an independent contractor, so labor laws protect a company when they decide to end our relationship “at will”. This means that Lyft will not need to provide me with any information regarding their investigation which is convenient for them because it would be impossible to prove a claim that I was ever intoxicated while driving. My belief is that when I went on strike for higher pay on Wednesday that my account was scheduled for deactivation today (though I will not be able to prove that either).

My free time lately has still been spent building the foundations for a self sufficient ecosystem of businesses that will provide me with the peace of mind I am seeking, but they are still very much in their infancy and I need more resources to turn the corner. Working as an employee for the last 8 years has taught me a lot of good information and I have gained valuable experience that I would like to now apply to my own creative pursuits.

I have started an apparel business, but sales have not reached the tipping point that will allow me to focus on apparel full time yet nor provide me with a livelihood that I can find stability with.

I have written/recorded a new record of my own original music that I would love to distribute properly and present to the world.

i have paintings and drawings that I have yet to show and I have left my fine artwork for the most part the past six months because I have most of my recent work in storage and I have yet to find a new place where I feel comfortable painting, nor do I feel like I can afford to purchase materials in my current situation. The cost to show this new work is more than I can afford at the moment also.

I would love the opportunity for a fresh start financially that would allow me to produce work such as this without the stress that looming debt, food insecurity, and homelessness add to my life.

I know that I can create art that is of value, but I would like to have the chance to be in a space that I can create in and foster a new movement from. I would like the freedom to travel, do research, source materials, and build references that will strengthen my messages and my aesthetic.

I am creating this gofundme for my hopes and dreams, because it will take me at least $50000 to hit the reset button on my life and give you all the next chapters of my story in the way I want it to be told. I am creating this gofundme because I feel oppressed and this is a possibility that can change my life forever. I am creating this gofundme because I am struggling in life and I rarely ask for help even though I probably needed it a long time ago. I am creating this gofundme because I believe in my friends and I want to believe that they wish for my success too. I’m creating this gofundme because I am aware that I am from a disenfranchised socioeconomic background. I’m creating this gofundme because I keep feeling like I have been dealt a poor hand in life and I am grateful for all that I have, but would love the space to just be the me I imagine.