Medical and living expenses

This is by far the most humiliating thing I have ever had to do. I have spent my adult life giving help, as a single mom and a nurse, but at 58 years old, I am in desperate need of help. As most of you know, I lost my eldest daughter to suicide 11 years ago. My middle daughter has struggled with severe mental illness most of her life, and addiction for the past 10 years or so. With the exception of my daughters, I have no family, nobody to turn to. I have a good job, but after taking my daughter in 5 months ago, I could barely make ends meet.  Her medications and counseling alone took half my paycheck, even after she paid what she could.  A week ago she overdosed and barely survived. She is still hospitalized, and is 2 months behind on her insurance premiums. I make enough to support me, but I cover phones for 2 of my children and myself, rent, utilities, medical deductibles, co-pays and anything else that needs to be paid for.  At this point, our phones are about to be shut off, rent will not be paid for August, and basics like car payments, water/gas, prescriptions and food are going to be impossible with the $50 I have left.  I don't need to go into the overdraft charges from my daughter using my debit card for Uber rides, shopping, tattoos....she was manic and I didn't know she was using my card. I am terrified that I will lose another child, and what that will do to my surviving children. I could take a leave of absence, but can't afford to take the unpaid time. 
Anything helps, even if it is just a prayer. I have pawned or sold what I can, but the situation is dire and I don't know what else to do. 
Hopefully I can help get my daughter into some kind of therapeutic living environment after she is released, but the non stop stress of her illness and relapse have been terrible for my heath. My lupus is flaring, and  it's a struggle to get out of bed everyday worrying about my child.  The fear of being unable to pay my basic bills is robbing me of whatever sleep I get. 
I know I have rambled on far too long,  but it is really hard to admit you are crumbling. 
With love and gratitude 


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Suzie Shaub Black 
Bellingham, WA
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