Casey's Medical & Crisis Needs
Donation protected
To my friends and family,
I just celebrated my 38th birthday a little over a month ago, and I am in a position I never imagined I would be in. I have accomplished many life goals that I set for myself including graduating from college with a BA in Psychology, graduating from an Ivy League School the University of Pennsylvania with a Masters in Social Work, and achieved getting 3/4 of my PhD in Human Services and Clinical Social Work. I have been able to volunteer in a variety of non profit art organizations working with low income at risk youth and sat on boards that help those programs. I have worked as a visual artist now for over 15 years.
However, starting in December I was force to take sudden FMLA medical leave from my job as supervisor in child welfare working for the Department of Human Services. I worked in the most poverty, crime ridden and dangerous districts and communities in Philadelphia. After my medical leave I returned to work but struggled significantly medically with severe Fibromyalgia pain which was quite debilitating, excruciating and debilitating migraines, an aggrivated back injury that left me in a wheelchair for part of my return to work, and then on June 25th my unit was assigned a case where a 4 year old accidently shot and killed herself and I reached my maximum capacity for dealing with trauma and vicarious trauma (trauma of another that you absorb). I was only able to continue working for 1.5 months as I was enduring severe decompensation in my mental & physical health.
I suffer from Bipolar, Severe and Acute PTSD, Anxiety, Agoraphobia (Fear of leaving the house, crowds, and open spaces) and from very bad Panic Attacks coupled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have for over 27 years and have accomplished all the above things and continued to work for over 16 years as a trauma therapist giving voice to those who couldnt find it like me, and then as a supervisor in child welfare to deal with abuse and neglect cases of children and youth in Philadelphia. This case triggered my PTSD and Bipolar in a spin out that I was not able to control. At that time I was working with a new therapist and psychiatrist and was forced to resign from my job because I could no longer work, leave my house, function, and could not get out of bed due to both physical and mental disability.
Where I used to leave my house go out and enjoy myself, do art, study and go to school, work, be with friends, and have a quality of life that I had worked for was stripped from me so suddenly. The well paying job I had was stripped away and I lost my insurance and was forced to apply for welfare and was only eligible for food stamps and insurance. We quickly discovered that the state insurance also did not cover a major life stabilizing medication I needed for my bipolar despite my doctors fighting tirelessly for appeals for it. I plummeted into a deep depression not leaving my house for days, batteling suicidal thoughts and only leaving my home except for medical appointments, having other people walk my dogs, people dropping off food for me, loosing over 25 lbs, and suffering from debilitating migraines, physical pain, being diagnosed with nerve damage in my legs and a condition of drop foot a neurological condition, and having to do additional physical therapy for both my legs and back which was grueling and also not covered well by my state insurance. I had/have severe panic attacks, unable to advocate for myself, and even filling out appeal paperwork for SSI and for unemployment was taking me days to accomplish with no support.
Attempting to find a case manager covered by my insurance was also a huge process and I still have no assistance. I no longer go to my art studio and was forced to sublet it as I could not pay for it nor get out of my house to get to it despite it being about a 10 minute walk from my home. I struggle every day to even get out of bed and my medical bills, food for my service dogs, and my basic living expenses are either extensive or I have no money to meet ends meet. I went from a well paying job to poverty basically overnight and lost virtually everything.
This was a totally unplanned turn of events and I have worked through my savings and I am at risk of loosing my apartment, losing my medical and psychiatric service animals as I cant go to a shelter with 2 service animals (one is 11 and is retiring and one is training to take his place). I cant pay my utilities, medical bills, and some of my medications I am forced to pay out of pocket. I cant even pay for the cost of transportation some days to get to the appointments I need to at this point.
This has been a devistating blow to me at the age of 38 that I am so disabled but also realizing that the system I worked so hard in as a trauma therapist and social worker is so broken and has not been able to help me. That I am a statistic like so many of the other families that I had tried to help and their struggle is so real to me now and it pains me so much. The future being so uncertain is stressful and terrifying to me. I don't know if I will ever be able to return to work that I used to or even work at all right now as I am clearly disabled and not able to at this point, and all my doctors have told me that doing so would exacerbate all the symptoms both physical and psychiatrically speaking. This is not how I envisioned my life at 38 but it also has made me realize that we all can be struck down by anything at any age.
The hardest part is being out with my service dog and hearing people say she doesn't look disabled she looks like she's faking it with her dog. Or she doesn't look sick. So many disabilities are invisible but I dont have the energy physically, emotionally, or psychiatrically to educate those people right now so even if you cant donate to my medical and life costs right now, please just educate those people and speak out, because making those comments, hurt so much when we hear them as they have no idea the pain that those comments cause.
I still want to contribute to the world at large and I am trying. I am working with the Bipolar and Depression Support Alliance to do Webinars and Podcast on what its like to have mental illness and dealing with it every day and educate. I still push myself to do public speaking engagements when I can locally and I train service dogs for veterans near my house at the VA for those who have PTSD leaving my house for an hour at a time as its all I can handle. I have also started a book on the process of navigating the welfare system as a very well educated individual and how challenging it is to be on the other side of the desk, lack of services that I need, lack of medication, the struggles with navigating the system and even filling out the endless forms and to the point of a worker telling me " your case is really bad and you are one of those people slipping through the cracks in a broken system and sometimes nothing can be done" I wanted to go home and kill myself that day, but I didn't and I pushed on writing my experiences and making small goals for myself and resting, and trying to heal this broken shell that is left of myself.
I have been hospitalized many times and have seen many specialists, done physical therapy, gotten braces for my legs, done extensive medical testing that was quite painful, and tried numerous medications to deal with my mental health issues but they are not working all very expensive and leaving me overwhelmed.
I am in now in a state of crisis, with few friends that I do have not really understanding all that I am going through, family that has no idea that this is going on and I am not one to ask for help as I was raised to be a strong, independent woman who makes her way in the world, and in a profession as the helper, but this experience has been extremely humbling and I need help at this point and I am asking for your support, even the smallest amount is gratefully accepted and will go towards my MEDICAL EXPENESES, HOUSING EXPENSES/LIVING EXPENSES, COST OF FOOD FOR MY SERVICE DOGS.
The need is immediate and I am so grateful for your time reading this and even just your thoughts. Please support the needs of the Mentally Ill and those with Invisible Disabilities as well including National Alliance of the Mentally Ill, Fight Against Suicide, and Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance.
Here is a small sample of a much larger variety of the artwork I do to express the life of the mentally ill, social justic issues, and diversity in our country. Please let me know if you would prefer to support the arts and purchase a print/photography or canvas with the proceeds going to support my needs and I wil ship it to you free of cost especially as the holidays are arriving. Thank you in in advance.
Casey's Art & Social Justice Link if you prefer to
purchase art to support me
Much Love and Gratitude!!!!!!!!!
Casey
I just celebrated my 38th birthday a little over a month ago, and I am in a position I never imagined I would be in. I have accomplished many life goals that I set for myself including graduating from college with a BA in Psychology, graduating from an Ivy League School the University of Pennsylvania with a Masters in Social Work, and achieved getting 3/4 of my PhD in Human Services and Clinical Social Work. I have been able to volunteer in a variety of non profit art organizations working with low income at risk youth and sat on boards that help those programs. I have worked as a visual artist now for over 15 years.
However, starting in December I was force to take sudden FMLA medical leave from my job as supervisor in child welfare working for the Department of Human Services. I worked in the most poverty, crime ridden and dangerous districts and communities in Philadelphia. After my medical leave I returned to work but struggled significantly medically with severe Fibromyalgia pain which was quite debilitating, excruciating and debilitating migraines, an aggrivated back injury that left me in a wheelchair for part of my return to work, and then on June 25th my unit was assigned a case where a 4 year old accidently shot and killed herself and I reached my maximum capacity for dealing with trauma and vicarious trauma (trauma of another that you absorb). I was only able to continue working for 1.5 months as I was enduring severe decompensation in my mental & physical health.
I suffer from Bipolar, Severe and Acute PTSD, Anxiety, Agoraphobia (Fear of leaving the house, crowds, and open spaces) and from very bad Panic Attacks coupled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have for over 27 years and have accomplished all the above things and continued to work for over 16 years as a trauma therapist giving voice to those who couldnt find it like me, and then as a supervisor in child welfare to deal with abuse and neglect cases of children and youth in Philadelphia. This case triggered my PTSD and Bipolar in a spin out that I was not able to control. At that time I was working with a new therapist and psychiatrist and was forced to resign from my job because I could no longer work, leave my house, function, and could not get out of bed due to both physical and mental disability.
Where I used to leave my house go out and enjoy myself, do art, study and go to school, work, be with friends, and have a quality of life that I had worked for was stripped from me so suddenly. The well paying job I had was stripped away and I lost my insurance and was forced to apply for welfare and was only eligible for food stamps and insurance. We quickly discovered that the state insurance also did not cover a major life stabilizing medication I needed for my bipolar despite my doctors fighting tirelessly for appeals for it. I plummeted into a deep depression not leaving my house for days, batteling suicidal thoughts and only leaving my home except for medical appointments, having other people walk my dogs, people dropping off food for me, loosing over 25 lbs, and suffering from debilitating migraines, physical pain, being diagnosed with nerve damage in my legs and a condition of drop foot a neurological condition, and having to do additional physical therapy for both my legs and back which was grueling and also not covered well by my state insurance. I had/have severe panic attacks, unable to advocate for myself, and even filling out appeal paperwork for SSI and for unemployment was taking me days to accomplish with no support.
Attempting to find a case manager covered by my insurance was also a huge process and I still have no assistance. I no longer go to my art studio and was forced to sublet it as I could not pay for it nor get out of my house to get to it despite it being about a 10 minute walk from my home. I struggle every day to even get out of bed and my medical bills, food for my service dogs, and my basic living expenses are either extensive or I have no money to meet ends meet. I went from a well paying job to poverty basically overnight and lost virtually everything.
This was a totally unplanned turn of events and I have worked through my savings and I am at risk of loosing my apartment, losing my medical and psychiatric service animals as I cant go to a shelter with 2 service animals (one is 11 and is retiring and one is training to take his place). I cant pay my utilities, medical bills, and some of my medications I am forced to pay out of pocket. I cant even pay for the cost of transportation some days to get to the appointments I need to at this point.
This has been a devistating blow to me at the age of 38 that I am so disabled but also realizing that the system I worked so hard in as a trauma therapist and social worker is so broken and has not been able to help me. That I am a statistic like so many of the other families that I had tried to help and their struggle is so real to me now and it pains me so much. The future being so uncertain is stressful and terrifying to me. I don't know if I will ever be able to return to work that I used to or even work at all right now as I am clearly disabled and not able to at this point, and all my doctors have told me that doing so would exacerbate all the symptoms both physical and psychiatrically speaking. This is not how I envisioned my life at 38 but it also has made me realize that we all can be struck down by anything at any age.
The hardest part is being out with my service dog and hearing people say she doesn't look disabled she looks like she's faking it with her dog. Or she doesn't look sick. So many disabilities are invisible but I dont have the energy physically, emotionally, or psychiatrically to educate those people right now so even if you cant donate to my medical and life costs right now, please just educate those people and speak out, because making those comments, hurt so much when we hear them as they have no idea the pain that those comments cause.
I still want to contribute to the world at large and I am trying. I am working with the Bipolar and Depression Support Alliance to do Webinars and Podcast on what its like to have mental illness and dealing with it every day and educate. I still push myself to do public speaking engagements when I can locally and I train service dogs for veterans near my house at the VA for those who have PTSD leaving my house for an hour at a time as its all I can handle. I have also started a book on the process of navigating the welfare system as a very well educated individual and how challenging it is to be on the other side of the desk, lack of services that I need, lack of medication, the struggles with navigating the system and even filling out the endless forms and to the point of a worker telling me " your case is really bad and you are one of those people slipping through the cracks in a broken system and sometimes nothing can be done" I wanted to go home and kill myself that day, but I didn't and I pushed on writing my experiences and making small goals for myself and resting, and trying to heal this broken shell that is left of myself.
I have been hospitalized many times and have seen many specialists, done physical therapy, gotten braces for my legs, done extensive medical testing that was quite painful, and tried numerous medications to deal with my mental health issues but they are not working all very expensive and leaving me overwhelmed.
I am in now in a state of crisis, with few friends that I do have not really understanding all that I am going through, family that has no idea that this is going on and I am not one to ask for help as I was raised to be a strong, independent woman who makes her way in the world, and in a profession as the helper, but this experience has been extremely humbling and I need help at this point and I am asking for your support, even the smallest amount is gratefully accepted and will go towards my MEDICAL EXPENESES, HOUSING EXPENSES/LIVING EXPENSES, COST OF FOOD FOR MY SERVICE DOGS.
The need is immediate and I am so grateful for your time reading this and even just your thoughts. Please support the needs of the Mentally Ill and those with Invisible Disabilities as well including National Alliance of the Mentally Ill, Fight Against Suicide, and Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance.
Here is a small sample of a much larger variety of the artwork I do to express the life of the mentally ill, social justic issues, and diversity in our country. Please let me know if you would prefer to support the arts and purchase a print/photography or canvas with the proceeds going to support my needs and I wil ship it to you free of cost especially as the holidays are arriving. Thank you in in advance.
Casey's Art & Social Justice Link if you prefer to
purchase art to support me
Much Love and Gratitude!!!!!!!!!
Casey
Organizer
KC Buckley
Organizer
Philadelphia, PA