Hello all, 
It took me alot of courage and swallowing of my pride to do this. I never wanted to lower my standards or compromise my pride, or feel ashamed.
Unfortunately, unforseen circumstances happen to us all in life, and sometimes, you have to swallow your pride and ask for help. Some of you know my situation all too well, even if you cant relate, some suspect, and others are in the blind of my current condition. To the naked eye, i look like a relatively healty, young woman. Unfortunately, that is not the case. now i know the true meaning of, "dont judge a book by its cover." 

It is taking everything in me to share this with you but i feel i need to share my story, especially to those who care about my wellbeing. Maybe my story will inspire others to take better care of themselves and their loved ones. 
I was diagnosed with chronic psoriatic arthritis, which is a very complex and rare desease, especially among woman. The doctors have prescribed tons of medication to try to control my horrible symptoms. I've tried natural remedies, and have done TONS of research to help myself get beter. I will not sugarcoat anything. Theres been many a days I felt I dont belong in this world, that i have nothing to contribute to it. But i KNOW i do.

I have two loving children who depend on me, and i refuse to give up. I have alway been a hardworking individual, and a go getter. I hustle to make ends meet, even when i was employed. I didn't want all my eggs to come from one basket. Those that know me, know this to be true. I' ve sold food, coquito, crochet, do hair and more, to stay afloat. Right now... i feel like i'm drowning. 
I've had 5 major surgeries in the last 5 years, and even came close to dying in 2012. 
So to get to the point,. I have private insurance that I pay $172/mo for. i can handle that. but my copayments of $25/per doctor visit, train fare to get to and from has really taken a toll on my pockets, now empty. I am almost booked solid with appointments for the next two months, and I just look at my calendar and think, "lord how am i gonna pay for this?"  
many of you don't know that I have been on disability since 2014. I am totally and pernmanently disabled and now receive a montly check that is barely enough to cover my bills. My fiance has basically depleted his 401k to help me. But he's reached his max withdrawls also.

These appointment are vital. and if i do not attend, i will suffer some serious complications, including death. Yes. Its THAT serious. I can no longer do my own laundry, clean my home as often as i want, bending down is a struggle, and I'm homebound due to IBS. (irritable bowel syndrome). This one has been the hardest to deal with. Mentally and physically, causing severe depression, and a sense of worthlessness. Depression is a REAL desease i dont wish on ANYONE. It is not a choice.
I'm not saying all this for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am handing my situation, and doing all within my reach to get better. Financially? I feel like my hands are tied. My condition has had a SIGNIFICANT impact on my relationships with friends and family, not to mention, myself. It's hard for my family to see me like this, especially when im at my worse. where I cant even open a jar, water faucet and drop & break things constantly. But!I DO have a reason to live, tho sometimes, I dont feel that way. I know I am loved and I God has a new purpose for me.
I have always been a giving person. I am a giver. And i give in silence. I dont believe in announcing to the world if ive gifted you with anything. Thats between me and God.
And I am a true advocate of "paying it forward",  as the saying goes, today ME, tomorrow YOU.
LIfe throws us unexpected curveballs, and unfortunately we are not prepared, because we didnt' see it in the cards for us, or just simply didn't think something like this can creep its way into your lives.
Especially at the age of 45. Just to touch on some of my more serious conditions, I'll name a few. I am: 
*severely anemic
*Have gut issues that will require surgery, and constant post op follow up visits.
*Need two knee surgeries also.
*Psoriatic arthritis that effects my spine, some major organs and my fingers. 
IBS- irritable bowel syndrome
*Uterine Fibroids
*scars on my left lung
*an Aortic heart Aneurysm

Just to mention a few. Yes, theres more. but I won't get into all the details, its too much to list. 

I wont bore you with anymore details. If you can find it in your heart to help, God will multiply it trifold! Trust. I can testify to that. No donation is too small. I'm not expecting much, but every little bit counts. I was ashamed to do this, but after speaking to a friend, she convinced me to do this. I know times are hard, and many of us are struggling financially. Do what you can, if you can. I truly appreciate it. Thank you in advance, and God bless you. I will share this only with the people I know care and have a heart as big, if not, bigger than mine. 

God bless you all. Dont let lifes challenges creep up on you. be prepared. Cuz you just never know when disaster will strike. 
Please know this wAS extremely hard for me to do.
But at this point, i have no choice. If I dont make these appointments, it will be even more detrimental to my health. I'm trying to keep my head above the water at this point. God bless you all. 
Thank you.