This is for Caleb and their children, the coming days weeks and months will be very challenging. Anything you can give to help expenses during this time will be greatly appreciated. 

"I just want to say thank you for the love and support. I can't even put into words what I am feeling and how much I love Mandie Marie Alexander. I can barely make my hands move to type this. Thank you"


Dear Mandie,

I've been sitting here for the last 24 hours in shock, I didn't believe what I was hearing when I got the phone call from mom. It wasn't until I finally got to our family, and heard the devastation in everyone's tears that I knew that this was real, that you were gone. Even now I feel like we are all in a perpetual nightmare that we can't seem to wake from.

We miss you...even though you've only been gone less than a day, we all miss you. It feels strange that you haven't come walking through the door, that we haven't heard your laugh. Though it is full of people, the house feels empty without your presence here. It's as if a hole was torn in our hearts and in our family, a hole that feels as if it will be impossible to be repaired.

When you married my big brother, you fit this family like a glove. You became more than an in law, you became a sister and a daughter. It felt as if you had always been there, and that you always would be. You made Caleb so incredibly happy! When I saw how he fell for you, from the moment he laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted the same thing for my life. And you already knew the person that was perfect for me. You went straight home and told Gracie about me, and you were so excited at the prospect of being sisters in law if you married brothers.

You were such an inspiration Mandie! I always admired your never give up mentality. I remember when I heard you were born without one of your hands, and I was blown away at how you never let it limit you! You did things that I would never have thought someone missing a limb could, and most the time, better than the rest of us with two hands. You had such an amazing sense of humor about the whole thing as well, I don't know how many punches I received in the ribs from your "little hand."

You were always so much fun to be around, I think that's what I'll miss the most. You were always wanting to play games, to talk and laugh. Your sarcasm was the best even though most of the time it was at my expense. I wish so much that we had more time now to play games and laugh like we used to. Today we were supposed to be coming to stay with you for a hay ride here in Kalispell. That was the last thing you said to me was how excited you were to have us and the youth come stay at your house. It was obvious how much you loved cared for the young people in our church, and they loved you.

I have to admit I have, and still am really struggling with this crushing loss to our family. I know the answers; I've given them to others when they asked why bad things happen to good people. However, this is too close to home. I feel broken, my heart torn to pieces, especially for Caleb, and for the kids. This is a wound that we will carry with us forever. 
But I have faith, and hope in a savior that I know sees the big picture. And I know you are in a place now where you can see Gods masterplan. You once said "I'm thankful that even when I don't understand Gods plan He does. If it wasn't for the Lord and His promises life would be hopeless." 
You understood loss, you faced it head on and put your faith in God even when, like us, you couldn't understand why. That's what I will always remember about you, no matter what, you Loved the Lord with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength, and always put Him first. The Love of Christ shown so bright in you! And the proof is all around us now, as the love and prayers come pouring in from all the people that were touched by your loving kindness.

We are all struggling now with how to cope with saying goodbye, but we know that it isn't goodbye forever. You are in a place of no tears, no sickness, you are whole, and looking into the face of our loving savior. Hugging all the loved ones that have gone before, your daddy, our brother, uncles and grandparents. You are in a place of pure joy and everlasting peace. 
Right now our tears are going to continue to flow, and we are going to feel the loss of your light in this world for years to come. But I have hope in my savior that He will mend our broken hearts, and that we will see you again in glory.

Until then, I love you so much, you were an amazing sister and friend, and I am so thankful for the time that I had with you here.

Love always, 
Your little brother, 
Paul