Please Help Us Memorialize Helen Altomare

I am immensely saddened to share with you all that Helen Altomare, Philip and Robert Altomare’s mother passed away from cancer on 5/5/2022. We are in need of help paying for her funeral expenses.

We are in shock at her rapid decline and find it so hard to accept that this has actually happened!

After a fall in late January that left her shoulder in much pain, Helen spent several months doing physical therapy but the pain kept getting worse. In mid-April, Helen went for an MRI to see what was causing it. The MRI revealed lesions. She then went into the hospital for extensive testing thinking she would be out in a few days but the tests revealed that her body was riddled with cancer— lung, liver and bone cancer all throughout her spine. Helen and her family were shocked by the news but she said she was “ready to fight!”

 

She quickly had a procedure to place a port which left her in even more pain but chemotherapy was started. Initially she responded well, but then she rapidly began declining much to the shock of her family. Two days later she was in and out of coherency in the ICU.

 

She passed 5/5/2022 in the early afternoon. 

 

We still cannot believe this has happened! We thought we’d have at least a few more months with her—nobody expected such a rapid decline!

Helen expressed to her family her desire to be buried in a plot with her father which is where she will be laid to rest.

Unfortunately, as a single mom, Helen has always struggled financially. We are reaching out for your help in paying for funeral expenses and are immensely grateful for any help at all that can be given so we can help fulfill her final wishes.

The costs of having the grave opened and a liner placed are almost $3,000.

 

The costs of a simple casket, transportation to the cemetery and the funeral home and final burial are $3,850.

The cost for a grave stone starts at $2,600.

 

We’d like to have a memorial service at the gravesite followed by a meal with loved ones and close friends after the service. Though I am not certain of the cost for this, I imagine it will be around $800-$1000.

 

We would like to get some flowers for her casket which may be around $300.

 

There may be other costs we haven’t thought of. We are overwhelmed with the suddenness of all this and trying to wrap our minds around it still.

 

If we collect any extra money, it will be saved for the care of Helen’s disabled son, Robert who she selflessly cared for and advocated for always as well as her 7 cats and elderly dog who suffers from seizures and requires medication. They will be kept in the family and well cared for just as she would have wanted.

 

Phil is overwhelmed with grief but asks that you send messages to me, Rachel Maris, right now while he struggles to process all this.

I can be reached on Facebook or through my cell phone at You can also send a card or thought to:

 

189 South Dunton Ave,

East Patchogue, NY 11772

 

Phil loves you all and has been meaning to update everyone for sometime on his own major life changes including a 15 month-old son, Banyan, who Helen loved greatly. Phil never expected to be alive today with his diagnosis of glioblastoma but against the odds he has had no regrowth. After his diagnosis, Phil moved in with his mother Helen who has been a rock for him always just as she has for his disabled brother! The boys are devastated by this all!

We will be having a graveside memorial service for Helen on May 11 at 11am at Washington Memorial Park. All are welcome to join. We will plan to have a large gathering in her honor in the summer and will let all know once we have that planned. 

The funeral home, Robertaccio in Patchogue, will accept checks directly or credit cards from anyone who wants to contribute that way-- just tell them that you are making a payment towards the bill for Helen Altomare's burial.

Thanks and much love to all!  Your support is greatly appreciated!