My name is Chloe, and I need a service dog.


I've been ill for as long as I can remember. It started out with a profound sense of loneliness around the age of 7. I knew something wasn't right with me. I knew the other kids weren't sad all the time, and that they didn't feel alone when they played with their friends. I could see their joy  and playfulness was sincere and genuine, while mine was something I hid behind to avoid feeling any more isolated. This was particularly strange from a 7 year-old, considering I had a picture perfect childhood. Married parents, family dinners, date with both of my parents regularly, just to feel loved.


The illness came out of hiding when I was 13, my first suicide attempt. Since then, I’ve had an additional 16 attempts. 5 this year. I couldn’t give you a timeline for these hospitalizations, as they all kind of blur together and seem less and less real as time progresses.


I have Bipolar 1, with a second axis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) which causes erratic behavior, severe mood swings, uncontrollable mania and extreme depression. A single trigger can lead to a world of destruction. I feel like people are playing with fire when they get close to me.


This last attempt was my most serious, and it’s a miracle that I survived. I took 350,000 mg of Tylenol, and they found me after the pills had dissolved, so charcoal and stomach pumping was not an option.


I should not be alive.  


I’m extremely grateful for my health and well-being, now, but I’m unsure of how long that will last. When I feel any heightened emotion, I am overcome. It takes very little time for me to decide to do destructive things. I’ve been in every therapy you can imagine. DBT, FFT, Trauma Focus, CBT, groups…. Nothing seems to assit me in my healing


Commitments help me. A job gets me up in the morning and keeps me motivated. But when I get too depressed or too manic, I quit jobs to  lose my need to commit. Which is why I need a dog.


My service dog will bring me my medication, give me something to love and commit to. It will learn to boost my mood and regulate my emotions, as well as remind me about appointments and make me do everyday functions I can’t complete when I’m emotional.


My dog will give me a sense of belonging and purpose. I’ve been in need of that for years.


Your funds will contribute to cost of the dog, its vest, toys, food, my flight to Michigan for training, and boarding.


Words cannot explain how grateful I am for your donations.I’ve needed something to commit to for years, something to love and be responsible for. I’ve never been sure if my life was worth living, but from this experience, I know I have something to look forward to, that will keep me going. I need $5,500 by December. 


My name is Chloe, and I need a service dog. Thank you.