I have Major Depressive Disorder with Anxiety. This is something I have struggled with most of my life but over the last year, my episodes have been worse; so much so that I was afraid I would cross that line and take my life.
Finally, on January 18, 2018, I went to the emergency room for suicidal ideation with a plan: I was going to jump from the Gold Star Bridge in Groton, CT or overdose on my medication. Usually, when I sought treatment, I would participate in a partial hospitalization program, which requires you to attend groups for 5 hours a day, Monday through Friday. I would have my medication reviewed and within 5 weeks, I would be discharged from the program and back to work.
This episode was different, it was more intense than any I had experienced in the past; it was darker. So much so that I made a decision I never thought I would have the courage to make: I committed myself to a psychiatric ward on February 22, 2018, because I felt unsafe at home alone.
As of February, I have used up all my paid time off and extended leave from work and quickly burned through my tax return (which was less than I had expected) Today, March 31st, I opened the door to find a notice to quit from my landlord.
This is a blessing, in a way, because now I have evidence that I am in a crisis of losing my apartment. On the other hand, with budget cuts, a lot of the funding has been removed by the state so I am reluctantly asking for help here. The only support I have comes from my clinicians in my partial hospitalization program, local human services, various community centers, and food banks.
My goal is to find another apartment closer to my family in Southwest Connecticut and move before this eviction goes on my record. If I cannot raise enough money, I am not sure where I will live but will be forced give up custody of my children. Having this money will help me maintain all that I have worked so hard to acquire over the past 8 years since my divorce.
Your kindness and compassion will be deeply appreciated.
If you'd like to read more about me, my struggles, and my thoughts, please visit my blog at https://sacredgarden.wordpress.com/
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