- K
- B
- M
"Infertility is a medical condition that affects your mind, body, and spirit. Mentally, it consumes your daily thoughts. Physically, it controls your body and emotions. You find yourself crying and screaming, wondering if you will ever conceive a child of your own. Infertility also tests your faith in God and His will for your life. Amazingly, this condition affects 1 in 10 couples."
Not many people in our lives know our journey through infertility. Jonny and I have tried to start a family of our own from the day we said “I do” in 2011. We always felt that one day all this pain would make sense and our prayers would be answered because we had this strong desire to become parents. We never grew weary in our walk with Jesus, but as the years have went on, our pain has become almost unbearable.
Approximately 2 years ago, after experiencing a variety of symptoms related to migraine headaches, Jonathan’s primary care doctor ordered an MRI that confirmed a small pituitary tumor. Neurologists told us that the tumor was not large enough for surgery and not large enough to treat. Jonathan’s primary care doctor determined he was considered infertile based on the MRI and his sperm count levels. He was then sent to a Urologist that specializes in fertility medications. He was placed on a 6 month trial of Clomid, and told that we would be pregnant in 6 months or less. Those months came and went, but we knew we wanted to keep trying.
We decided to get my body checked out by my OB doctor to make sure everything was ok with me. My doctor recommended an ultrasound. I had the ultrasound a few weeks later that confirmed I had an endocrine disorder called polycystic ovarian syndrome. Meaning, that I do not ovulate on my own. My OB doctor knew this was out of her expertise, so she sent us to Dr. Harris, a fertility specialist in Knoxville, in July of 2015.
Before our first appointment with Dr. Harris, I had to go through a procedure called a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), where they force contrast into your uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries to see if they are open and to make sure the anatomy looks ok on the x-ray. This was one of the most painful things I have gone through during this fertility journey, but the results were good. According to the OB doctor, we could begin our fertility journey with our new doctor in Knoxville.
Our first appointment with Dr. Harris was an interesting one. She wanted to get started immediately and had a plan that made us feel confident that her treatment would work. Our first cycle started with a procedure called intrauterine insemination (IUI). During this process, I am placed on medications to stimulate ovulation throughout the month. This process makes me extremely emotional due to high hormone levels. On the day of my ovulation, Jonathan’s sperm is collected in a specimen cup 30 minutes before we arrive for the procedure. Our first IUI looked promising, as we had 1 really good follicle and he had 11 million sperm. According to Dr. Harris, anything above 10 million is enough to get pregnant. But at the same time, it only takes 1 sperm right? We were so confident that this cycle would work, because we knew God was on our side.
“From the end of the Earth I will cry to you. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalms 61:2
After 4 failed IUI’s, Dr. Harris wanted me to undergo an exploratory laparoscopic surgery. During the surgery, I was placed on a breathing machine and put under while the doctor looked to see if there was anything abnormal with my anatomy that hadn’t shown on previous scans and tests. This surgery would also allow Dr. Harris to clear up any abnormalities. I was in recovery longer than I was in surgery and everything went well. Our doctor felt confident that she had “fixed” what had been wrong. She also said that having this procedure would, statistically, increase our chances for the next 6 months. So again, we felt relieved and confident that we were getting closer to having a family. After surgery, I had to wait 1 cycle and could start back up in January.
Three more IUI’s later and still no positive pregnancy test came our way. Every procedure, medication, and surgery had taken us to almost $3,500. Despite the cost, we were willing to save as much as we could and keep going as long as we could until our prayers were answered.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12
After our 7th IUI, we got the wonderful news that we were pregnant! The joy Jonny and I experienced was so overwhelming all we could do was smile and cry. We had been through so much heartache and disappointment that we almost couldn’t believe it. We felt like we were living in a dream; a dream we never wanted to end. God had finally blessed us with the miracle we had been desperately praying for.
Despite our joy, Dr. Harris had told us my hormone levels were not the best and I would have to increase my medications in order to keep our baby. I had to take daily progesterone injections to keep my levels up and blood work done every few days to make sure the medication was working. My hormone levels kept dropping regardless of how much medication I was taking to keep it up. At around 5 ½ weeks pregnant I noticed that I began to bleed. Scared that I was losing my child, I paged my doctor and took an extra dose of progesterone. At that moment I knew something was wrong because I no longer felt bloated and crampy like I had been feeling. I had blood work earlier that day but had not gotten the results back. Finally, my doctor called me back and told me the most awful news that no mother should ever have to hear. I was going to lose my baby due to a defect with the egg. She stated my HCG levels were around 500 and my levels should be around 2,500. She said taking the progesterone only prolonged what was going to happen and asked me to stop taking my medicine. She told me it was called a chemical pregnancy and that the miscarriage would be the worst period I have ever experienced and if I needed any pain medications to let her know. At exactly 6 weeks of pregnancy, on April 15th, I had a miscarriage.
The miscarriage was the most devastating thing we have ever gone through. Words cannot describe the devastation we felt. Our hopes and dreams had been crushed. We went from being in a wonderful dream, to living in a total nightmare. We longed and prayed and waited for a child to call our own. We felt like our child was taken from us and we couldn’t understand why. We continued to pray for peace and comfort and guidance as to what our next steps should be. At this point, we did not know if we wanted to continue seeing Dr. Harris because the heartache was just too unbearable.
"Dear God, I have tried my best, but if today I lose my hope, please tell me that your plans are better than my dreams."
However, the desire to become parents weighed heavy on our hearts and we felt that we had to keep going. We never wanted to wake up one day wondering what if. After the next cycle we began again, thinking that now that we got pregnant once, it could happen again. After our 9th failed IUI we were told we had to consider moving to the next step, and that would be in vitro fertilization (IVF). The cost of an IVF procedure is approximately $12,000, which is payment up front. This figure does not include medication costs, ultrasounds, and lab work. The IVF process is very in depth and risky for the woman having the procedure done. But the desire to have a child of our own is something we want more than anything. Never in a million years did I think we would struggle this much to become parents but I cannot think of anything more fulfilling than having a child with my husband that I get to love through pregnancy and after birth. To be called mom and dad one day is something we desire so much. That feeling is indescribable. Just the thought of holding our child in our arms one day brings us both to tears. We have so much love to give and we want to share that love by growing our family and making it complete. I want that feeling back of being pregnant. I want that feeling of going into labor and having those symptoms. Oddly enough I want to experience it all because I have such a strong desire to be a mom. I know my husband Jonny would make the world’s best Father because he is an amazing husband. Even as a small child, I always told myself I would be married with kids by the time I was 25 years old. I have met one of those goals by marrying the love of my life, but now we want to complete our family with a child we can call our own. So many of our family and friends have children and every pregnant woman or little child we see breaks our heart because it is what we long for so much. We long to love a child we helped create and bring into this world. We have so many things that we want to do with our future children and so much love to give.
"Our path may not be what we had expected, but we are so glad the Lord is not done with us."
The longer you wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when you get it. Cause anything worth having, is definitely worth waiting for…"
"Your journey has molded you for the greater good. It was exactly what it needed to be don’t think you have lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now and now is right on time."
But we know the cost is something we cannot afford on our own. We are asking our friends and family to help us fulfill this desire and assist us in financing this next step in our infertility journey. We appreciate anything you can do to help us. Whether, it’s by adding us to a prayer list at your church, or providing a small donation towards the procedure. Thank you for taking the time to read this and we appreciate anything you can do to help us. May God bless each and every one of you just as He has richly blessed us.
Not many people in our lives know our journey through infertility. Jonny and I have tried to start a family of our own from the day we said “I do” in 2011. We always felt that one day all this pain would make sense and our prayers would be answered because we had this strong desire to become parents. We never grew weary in our walk with Jesus, but as the years have went on, our pain has become almost unbearable.
Approximately 2 years ago, after experiencing a variety of symptoms related to migraine headaches, Jonathan’s primary care doctor ordered an MRI that confirmed a small pituitary tumor. Neurologists told us that the tumor was not large enough for surgery and not large enough to treat. Jonathan’s primary care doctor determined he was considered infertile based on the MRI and his sperm count levels. He was then sent to a Urologist that specializes in fertility medications. He was placed on a 6 month trial of Clomid, and told that we would be pregnant in 6 months or less. Those months came and went, but we knew we wanted to keep trying.
We decided to get my body checked out by my OB doctor to make sure everything was ok with me. My doctor recommended an ultrasound. I had the ultrasound a few weeks later that confirmed I had an endocrine disorder called polycystic ovarian syndrome. Meaning, that I do not ovulate on my own. My OB doctor knew this was out of her expertise, so she sent us to Dr. Harris, a fertility specialist in Knoxville, in July of 2015.
Before our first appointment with Dr. Harris, I had to go through a procedure called a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), where they force contrast into your uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries to see if they are open and to make sure the anatomy looks ok on the x-ray. This was one of the most painful things I have gone through during this fertility journey, but the results were good. According to the OB doctor, we could begin our fertility journey with our new doctor in Knoxville.
Our first appointment with Dr. Harris was an interesting one. She wanted to get started immediately and had a plan that made us feel confident that her treatment would work. Our first cycle started with a procedure called intrauterine insemination (IUI). During this process, I am placed on medications to stimulate ovulation throughout the month. This process makes me extremely emotional due to high hormone levels. On the day of my ovulation, Jonathan’s sperm is collected in a specimen cup 30 minutes before we arrive for the procedure. Our first IUI looked promising, as we had 1 really good follicle and he had 11 million sperm. According to Dr. Harris, anything above 10 million is enough to get pregnant. But at the same time, it only takes 1 sperm right? We were so confident that this cycle would work, because we knew God was on our side.
“From the end of the Earth I will cry to you. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalms 61:2
After 4 failed IUI’s, Dr. Harris wanted me to undergo an exploratory laparoscopic surgery. During the surgery, I was placed on a breathing machine and put under while the doctor looked to see if there was anything abnormal with my anatomy that hadn’t shown on previous scans and tests. This surgery would also allow Dr. Harris to clear up any abnormalities. I was in recovery longer than I was in surgery and everything went well. Our doctor felt confident that she had “fixed” what had been wrong. She also said that having this procedure would, statistically, increase our chances for the next 6 months. So again, we felt relieved and confident that we were getting closer to having a family. After surgery, I had to wait 1 cycle and could start back up in January.
Three more IUI’s later and still no positive pregnancy test came our way. Every procedure, medication, and surgery had taken us to almost $3,500. Despite the cost, we were willing to save as much as we could and keep going as long as we could until our prayers were answered.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12
After our 7th IUI, we got the wonderful news that we were pregnant! The joy Jonny and I experienced was so overwhelming all we could do was smile and cry. We had been through so much heartache and disappointment that we almost couldn’t believe it. We felt like we were living in a dream; a dream we never wanted to end. God had finally blessed us with the miracle we had been desperately praying for.
Despite our joy, Dr. Harris had told us my hormone levels were not the best and I would have to increase my medications in order to keep our baby. I had to take daily progesterone injections to keep my levels up and blood work done every few days to make sure the medication was working. My hormone levels kept dropping regardless of how much medication I was taking to keep it up. At around 5 ½ weeks pregnant I noticed that I began to bleed. Scared that I was losing my child, I paged my doctor and took an extra dose of progesterone. At that moment I knew something was wrong because I no longer felt bloated and crampy like I had been feeling. I had blood work earlier that day but had not gotten the results back. Finally, my doctor called me back and told me the most awful news that no mother should ever have to hear. I was going to lose my baby due to a defect with the egg. She stated my HCG levels were around 500 and my levels should be around 2,500. She said taking the progesterone only prolonged what was going to happen and asked me to stop taking my medicine. She told me it was called a chemical pregnancy and that the miscarriage would be the worst period I have ever experienced and if I needed any pain medications to let her know. At exactly 6 weeks of pregnancy, on April 15th, I had a miscarriage.
The miscarriage was the most devastating thing we have ever gone through. Words cannot describe the devastation we felt. Our hopes and dreams had been crushed. We went from being in a wonderful dream, to living in a total nightmare. We longed and prayed and waited for a child to call our own. We felt like our child was taken from us and we couldn’t understand why. We continued to pray for peace and comfort and guidance as to what our next steps should be. At this point, we did not know if we wanted to continue seeing Dr. Harris because the heartache was just too unbearable.
"Dear God, I have tried my best, but if today I lose my hope, please tell me that your plans are better than my dreams."
However, the desire to become parents weighed heavy on our hearts and we felt that we had to keep going. We never wanted to wake up one day wondering what if. After the next cycle we began again, thinking that now that we got pregnant once, it could happen again. After our 9th failed IUI we were told we had to consider moving to the next step, and that would be in vitro fertilization (IVF). The cost of an IVF procedure is approximately $12,000, which is payment up front. This figure does not include medication costs, ultrasounds, and lab work. The IVF process is very in depth and risky for the woman having the procedure done. But the desire to have a child of our own is something we want more than anything. Never in a million years did I think we would struggle this much to become parents but I cannot think of anything more fulfilling than having a child with my husband that I get to love through pregnancy and after birth. To be called mom and dad one day is something we desire so much. That feeling is indescribable. Just the thought of holding our child in our arms one day brings us both to tears. We have so much love to give and we want to share that love by growing our family and making it complete. I want that feeling back of being pregnant. I want that feeling of going into labor and having those symptoms. Oddly enough I want to experience it all because I have such a strong desire to be a mom. I know my husband Jonny would make the world’s best Father because he is an amazing husband. Even as a small child, I always told myself I would be married with kids by the time I was 25 years old. I have met one of those goals by marrying the love of my life, but now we want to complete our family with a child we can call our own. So many of our family and friends have children and every pregnant woman or little child we see breaks our heart because it is what we long for so much. We long to love a child we helped create and bring into this world. We have so many things that we want to do with our future children and so much love to give.
"Our path may not be what we had expected, but we are so glad the Lord is not done with us."
The longer you wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when you get it. Cause anything worth having, is definitely worth waiting for…"
"Your journey has molded you for the greater good. It was exactly what it needed to be don’t think you have lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now and now is right on time."
But we know the cost is something we cannot afford on our own. We are asking our friends and family to help us fulfill this desire and assist us in financing this next step in our infertility journey. We appreciate anything you can do to help us. Whether, it’s by adding us to a prayer list at your church, or providing a small donation towards the procedure. Thank you for taking the time to read this and we appreciate anything you can do to help us. May God bless each and every one of you just as He has richly blessed us.