On November 7th, 2016, my boys and I had our lives turned upside down. After an accident put my husband in the hospital,the doctor wanted to speak to the family. I told the doctor everyone that was at the hospital, including family and friends from around the country who had rushed to be with us, was family. So, she let us all know that there was no brain functionand that my husband had experienced a brain bleed and a brain stem malfunction. We had been high school sweethearts, and he was my soulmate. It broke my heart that I had to make the extremely difficult decision to take him off of life support. We all said our good-byes to him, and I told him it was only “until we meet again”. My husband was an organ donor and he saved 5 lives.

In April 2018, I went to the hospital with pain in my left leg. Touching my leg was extremely painful. The doctors performed a full battery of tests and found nothing. Finally, another doctor came in and ordered a cat scan of my chest. They found a cluster of blood clots in both my lungs. I was very lucky that particular doctor ordered that test as she probably saved my life, but unfortunately, I will be on blood thinners for the rest of it. My boys were scared because I had to stay in the hospital and they were left on their own. Fortunately, I was only in the hospital for a few days. The hardest part of it all was that I was in the same hospital in which their dad passed away.

After searching for quite some time, I started a job February 2020 and I really loved my work. Then on March 26th, 2020, I was admitted to the hospital with COVID-19 and pneumonia. I was terrified and so were my boys. I was so sick, with horrible pulmonary and gastro-intestinal symptoms, and I had to be given oxygen. I was in the hospital for 12 days, feeling so weak, but I really wanted to go home and be with my boys. The company I worked for ended up closing for a while because of the pandemic. I didn’t have a paycheck coming in. But, we were lucky we had the life insurance that Pat left us. I couldn’t do much and my boys wouldn’t let me do anything (they are the best). I went back to work at the end of May.. I didn’t go back to doing what my manager was training me for. Instead, I was answering the phones and filing. Unfortunately, I was having memory issues due to COVID and I made some mistakes while filing; I was so mad at myself that I was messing up. I tried to make sure all my doctor appointments were late in the day, or on Saturday. There was one I couldn’t fix so I had to leave work a half hour before the end of the day. At the end of July, I ended up back in the hospital with pneumonia. I told the nurse and doctor that I could not stay there for very long.  My boys and my parents were worried about me. Well, my boss called me into his office because of me being sick, being late a couple of times, my doctor’s appointments, and my filing errors. My health issues were irrelevant to him and he told me it was time to part ways. It was upsetting to me because I really enjoyed working there. 

I’m not doing very well now. I am very depressed. I am on medication but right now I am at an all time low. At one point, I thought about leaving this world for a brief moment. I know I belong here now till I am very old. My boys need me and so domy parents, who are currently in my care, requiring me to drive back and forth frequently between their house and mine. I am hoping to add on to my house so my parents can live with us. It would mean the world to me to be right there to help them with whatever they need, without their having to wait for me to drive to them. We did have a life insurance payout for Pat, but we are running out of money and I’m afraid of what that means. I am embarrassed to ask for donations, and hate that I have to. Pat would’ve never done this, but I am struggling and my friends have encouraged me to reach out to the kindness of loving strangers. We are so appreciative or any help you can spare us right now.