hello everyone ! for starters, i just want to thank you for being here, even reading this post and taking the time out of your day to interact with my story. as i hope was made obvious by the title of this fund-raise-link-thing, i am raising money for top surgery. for those of you who don’t know (or haven’t been paying attention lol) i have identified as trans and non-binary for the better part of 13 years at the very least. i have long been an advocate for trans youth, trans voices, trans stories, and trans people of color, but all the while i have been putting myself and my own identity on the back burner. 2020 had been so many things, but among the numerous words that come to mind, transformative is definitively one of them. 2020 was the year i finally decided to prioritize my finances for my journey, working 70+ hours a week for months on end. It’s the year i decided to prioritize my trans health and medical transition. (it’s also the year i discovered oat milk lattes... like i said: a transformative year.) i have now been on GAHT (gender-affirming hormone therapy; testosterone injections) for almost a year. surprise! i kept it under wraps only because i wanted to prove to myself and my constantly-befuddled brain that doing this would not change anything about my sense of SELF, or my relationships and the way i conduct them. if you’re reading this, you more than likely didn’t even notice, and that was my point. it altered the only thing in my life that it should have: improving my mental health. additionally, with that being said, i have been binding my chest to some capacity since i was 15, starting with an ACE bandage and working up to an Underworks 997 chest binder. unfortunately - for those that don’t know - i have severe scoliosis and major shoulder injuries sustained from softball in my youth. this has prevented me from consistently wearing a binder a for a few years now. that, again, is a huge reason i have elected to move forward with this at this juncture, despite the years i have spent cowering behind an overflowing cup of support for others in my position whilst not affording myself the same courtesy. a lot of phobias often center around the fact that we don’t understand something, how it works, how it can effect us. fear is exactly what held me back from doing these things sooner. fear of what “you’d” think of me, fear of what the ever-elusive “they” would think of me. and it finally clicked that i was afraid of being happy. what if my happiness isn’t met with approval of others? and, in turn, do i view that as a key to my happiness? to have the acceptance of others dominate my self-view? for once in my life, i decided to put me first, no questions asked. once i decided to start the ball rolling on GAHT, the more (and more) apparent it’s become that having top surgery is an essential part of my present and future happiness- our most sacred vow to fulfill. if you know me, you know i have had anywhere between 1-3 jobs since i was 15/16 years old. i work my ass off for everything i have; everything i have been able to do, see and experience. i generally do not ask for help, handouts, etc. it really does give me major anxiety. but the anxiety that i will never see and be in my body the way it’s intended to exist has become both overwhelming and exhausting. to those who donate, thank you from the bottom of my heart. to those that can’t, please feel free to share this post or my link to your circles of people. as i stated in the beginning of this message, i can’t thank you all enough for taking the time to read my message. wishing everyone out there all the peace love and happiness that can be manifested in 2021 ✨

YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, DONT KEEP YOU WAITING.